[jessiesue the halfwit]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i am not stupid enough to tell you where i live all i can say is this people like YOU would not be accepted because of you closed minds i think you would all have a heart attack if you came here!
"ooohhh what this people with their own minds and cultures shit lets get out before we learn anything new and intersting!"
so yeah keep the fuck out

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

intersting

I doubt the retards of whatever backwater hell-hole you come from are capable of learning anything if your grasp of our language is any indication.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

What 3rd world totalitarian country do you live in where people who love God are jailed for their worship?

I think it said it lived in Australia.

make it over!!! ha i wouldnt want to step foot in that pathetic excuse for a country!!
and freedom BEHAVE freedom my foot! america is one of the most controled countries! and also the most lied to, each and everyone of you are being conditioned and controlled and you dont even know it!

How do you know this? Did someone tell you? Were you taught it in school?

i am in fact living in the only free counrty left! i can say what i choose and do as i choose and you know the funny thing about this country is we dont have kids shooting each other in school and stabing each other. we havnt had any terrosists let of bombs here and you think this is a bad place to live????? you know what dont come here youll just turn this great counrty and make it as shit as your own!

Well, we've narrowed it down to Australia or North Korea. Sounds a lot like North Korea, but I would've expected that the gooks would have turned this thing into kim chi by now. Weird.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i am not stupid enough to tell you where i live all i can say is this people like YOU would not be accepted because of you closed minds i think you would all have a heart attack if you came here!
"ooohhh what this people with their own minds and cultures shit lets get out before we learn anything new and intersting!"
so yeah keep the piffle out

We go wherever Jesus sends us, you filthy witch. Including whatever eurotrash cesspool you inhabit. There is not a country on this planet that doesn't host at least a handful of True Christians™. Some more than others of course.

All we want to do is share the Good News about Christ's temporary sacrifice with all the unsaved scum of the world. Once you reject His Salvation, then you have sealed your fate and we're done with you.

Matthew 10:14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.

2 Thessalonians 1:8-9
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I'm sure you've all heard by now what happened with Brother Albert Watkins, who was scheduled to go on this mission with his wife, Sister Irene. He definitely won't be going in July, but we have our Joo lawyers working on his case and we hope this whole misunderstanding will be cleared up in time to have the two of them join up with the others in September. Any later than than October and it's possible Australia may be too snowed in for anyone to land there safely, or as safe as is possible on that remote jungle outpost.
It's possible we just may have to send another two in their place, and with the Watkinses being Bronze Tithers, there should be no shortage of other Bronze Tithers willing to do good for the church.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

.... and we hope this whole misunderstanding will be cleared up in time to have the two of them join up with the others in September. Any later than than October and it's possible Australia may be too snowed in for anyone to land there safely, or as safe as is possible on that remote jungle outpost.

Any properly educated person would know that countries in the southern hemispheres have their winter in the middle of the year and summer at the end and beginning of the year. Whats funny is that you're sending people here to try and 'educate' us? Now thats what I call funny!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

How can a flat earth have hemispheres?

That doesn't make sense at all.

Isaiah 11:12
And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

How can a flat earth have hemispheres?

That doesn't make sense at all.

Isaiah 11:12
And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.

Four corners of the earth is simply an expression. One that was made up before it was proved the earth is actually round. Were you another one who was home schooled?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Were you another one who was home schooled?

Almost. "Shelter schooled" would be more appropriate. I spent most of my youth in a bomb shelter my dad built to protect us from the Mooslims. As we are still constantly under attack here, I continue to spend most time there, reading my KJV. That may explain why I look so pale.

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about our mission to Austria! Stop derailing this thread.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Almost. "Shelter schooled" would be more appropriate. I spent most of my youth in a bomb shelter my dad built to protect us from the Mooslims. As we are still constantly under attack here, I continue to spend most time there, reading my KJV. That may explain why I look so pale.

Now that explains everything!

Anyway, this isn't about me, but about our mission to Austria! Stop derailing this thread.

If I posted a pic of a world map, would you be even able to pint out the difference between Austria and Australia? How are you people even able to get here? You don't know how to spell it.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I think a pint is the same in Austria and Australia.

Also, you're lucky that we don't just dump our convicts on you sorry lot.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Now that explains everything!



If I posted a pic of a world map, would you be even able to pint out the difference between Austria and Australia? How are you people even able to get here? You don't know how to spell it.

So our Godly True Christian™ Brother Wide-Open made a typo. Can you say you've never done the same?

Meanwhile, from reading the WHOLE thread, I know that Landover's mission is to educate you Foster's swilling drunk and morbidly obese descendants of rapists and murderers about Jesus, not weather forecasting or typing!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I am pleased to announce my fact -finding mission to Darwin has been an overwhelming success. We have gathered upwards of 100 converts and collected over $100,000.00 I am leaving this fledgling ministry in capable hands, and am now heading down to Perth in Western Australia to bring the Light of Jesus to those who dwell in darkness with the crawling things etc.etc.
I'm landing at Midnight at Perth Airport on Saturday night, accompanied by a 2 man security attachment as I don't expect any trouble. At least not at first. Once the words of Jesus sear into their collective consciousness like a red hot branding iron applied to a virgins creamy white buttocks, thats when we'll get some bucking and howling and demons manifesting and all that jazz. I'll keep y'all updated on the Heathens in Perth, which is, by the way, the WORLDS MOST ISOLATED CITY!!.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I am pleased to announce my fact -finding mission to Darwin has been an overwhelming success.

Have you convinced them to change that unGodly name yet?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Well I'm all stoked for our huge Mission to Austria that's coming up. I haven't kept up with all the details, but I assume everything is going just fine. When am I supposed to leave? anyone got my itinerary?