Starting THE RULES book club

[Granny June]

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

I saw a book years ago when I was clearing what WAS and what WAS NOT okay for the Landovery Library i don't remember if it was allowed or not



When The Lord saw fit to call my Horace home to him, I tithed all the insurance money to The Church. That was partly because I was sure another Good Man would come along to help ease my burden, and cherish me like a fragile piece of china well i can tell you now it didn't happen

This book was #1 best seller they say. Does anyone remember THE RULES? All I remember is you don't accept last minute dates...maybe that is why they don't call - afraid of bein shot down because I'm too busy. Also, they probably call a lot when I'm out volunteering at The Church, which is why I miss them, and they [then] get discouraged.

Lets start a club where anyone who remembers what was in this book can pitch in with its tips. It can't hurt

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Granny June, Stop reading silly books written for teenagers. You should be asking the pastors to find you a husband, and pray. Never forget the power of prayer.



Acts 4:31 And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.

Matthew 7:7-8 7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

[Granny June]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

Look mr. THE RULES is all about doing what men LIKE, and weeding o' the ones that aren't wanting commitments. Commitments lead to weddings and then as times go by to CHILDREN SO PLEASE DO NOT DEGIGATE the sanctity of marriage between adults who consent. (I mean "opposite marriage" of course")

You do not know what we women go through the pawing the leering the peeping tom in the night all trying to get us to give up our virtues THE RULES is a screening process to find the SERIOUS-minded men

we all must bewares of the wolves bearing flowers




(insert scripture here)

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God(C) said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Granny, what are some of these rules? When I was a young lady just a few short years ago, I considered two rules to guide me: fear and obey my LORD, fear and obey my LORD by fearing and obeying my father. I knew that would be sufficient practice to being a help meet to a good man, and it was. Mr. Etheldreda has provided for me and our family for many years. I certainly didn't do any of these "modern" things like call boys on the phone, talk about my interests, or wear clothing that revealed my collar bone like they all do today. Today it's like everyone wants to be a Katy Perry and grind on table tops and dye their hair all kinds of ridiculous colors and pop pills at parties and take pictures of themselves naked and cut their arms and legs for attention.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Granny June,

With all due respect and obedience to Titus 2:3-5 I believe that book is not something worth reading. Given your age, the Lord is sure to call you home soon, and you should be spending all your time worshiping the Lord God Almighty! Psalm 34:1 is a good start. I'm sure that He will hear your prayers if you obey the Bible and do not waste your time on vanities like that.

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Granny June]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

Okay BOOK CLUB is now in SESSION!

Rule 31 sorry cap control now Rule #1 is

BE A CREATURE UNLIKE ANY OTHER

Well, that's a little odd as i do not really consider myself a "creature" most times but i think it means do not be like 99% of the other Katy Parry types. Be special, "like the price above rubies". We are creatures different than men so emphasize: small voice, make self small, eat little, do not appear over confident or like you can kill snakes or anything. I would say dotted swiss if you have any.

Do not wear curtains on a first date but this is dotted swiss 9below) alas is somewhat transparent so I would say 4 layers just to be safe.



So Rule #1 is about radiating demure security and listening, and the dotted swiss. Actually am just guessing here. Other than accepting that we are A Creature, how do we act like we are "Creature Unlike AnyOther"?

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Granny June,

Why not we do a book club based on a book of the Bible! Ephesians would be a good one, with a man leading it. This book that you are speaking of is an example of utter nonsense and ungodly morals and no biblical backing. Thus, let's spend our time worshiping the Lord.

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Granny June]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

I believe it is Epiphanies that tells us "The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves." We have a Bible study group already....this is In Service To The King, where we help Him by taking his time away from finding us the Dream Man and doing that work ourselves

It did just make me think tho IF we are reading a book and we ALL do what it says, how will we be "A Creature Unlike Any Other" as we will all be acting the same (?) This is confusing

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

how do we act like we are "Creature Unlike AnyOther"?

Well, I am not an attention whore like some people I won't mention, who go on and on and on especially about what a divine cook she is only to completely ruin the Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (G.A.P.E.)'s monthly pot-luck with an obvious bosom-shaped mold of jell-o with broccoli floweretts and mini marshmallows concoction because that's the only way she can get the attention of other men.

[Granny June]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

Well, I am not an attention whore like some people I won't mention, who go on and on and on especially about what a divine cook she is only to completely ruin the Gentlemen Against Pornographic Exhibition (G.A.P.E.)'s monthly pot-luck with an obvious bosom-shaped mold of jell-o with broccoli floweretts and mini marshmallows concoction because that's the only way she can get the attention of other men.

Well brocolli and minimarshmellows sounds like a "Jello Salad Unlike Any Other" i will say that. perhaps she took Rule #1 too literaly

I think a nice picnic spread is all Biblical foods from the time of Soloman: dates, figs, nuts, honey, and roasted lamb or oxen like from a sacrifice.



That pink fish in the picture looks a little too jew-y to me (smoked lox?) and i would also say the raw eggs might have salmonella OTHER than that this is what i refer to

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Other than accepting that we are A Creature, how do we act like we are "Creature Unlike AnyOther"?

Believe me, Granny June. You are definitely a "Creature unlike any other". And praise the Lord for that!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

I believe it is Epiphanies that tells us "The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves." We have a Bible study group already....this is In Service To The King, where we help Him by taking his time away from finding us the Dream Man and doing that work ourselves

It did just make me think tho IF we are reading a book and we ALL do what it says, how will we be "A Creature Unlike Any Other" as we will all be acting the same (?) This is confusing

Granny June, it makes me think of Romans 12:2 which says "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Granny June, that fish looks like RAW salmon to me which is the reason the Nipponese are all so thin, because they have tapeworms (though that might be preferable to eating the marshmallow & broccoli jello mess.)

Also, although this is good advice

Do not wear curtains on a first date

I would extend it to say don't wear curtains on any date - or at all.

So Rule #1 is about radiating demure security and listening, and the dotted swiss. Actually am just guessing here. Other than accepting that we are A Creature, how do we act like we are "Creature Unlike AnyOther"?

I asked my husband about this and he said "Don't". He says that "Old Elephant Legs" (as he calls her - you all know who I mean) is a Creature Unlike Any Other and that women should have small hands and feet and dainty ankles and wrists and, above all, quiet and melodious voices rather than a sort of booming screech (and where did she get that accent? ) and that even without those legs, Proverbs 11:22 would apply.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

Do not wear curtains on a first date but this is dotted swiss 9below) alas is somewhat transparent so I would say 4 layers just to be safe.



So Rule #1 is about radiating demure security and listening, and the dotted swiss.

Is "dotted swiss" cheese?

I wouldn't wear that if I were you. What if he gets hungry?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Starting THE RULES book club

I don't get it. Why would a lady who is too old to bear children need to look for a husband?