[David Goldman]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I will stop eating those foods IF and only IF

1) I get valid reasons to do so.
2) You tell me why and each fruit/whatever is forbidden. 100 character limit for each one

good luck!

In your case, Smeagol with an X, you can probably just ignore this list and just eat whatever you want. I seriously doubt that you are in a True Christian™ household (note the thread title), and I suspect that you have been fast-tracked for Hell anyway. So Bon Appetit, and enjoying it while you can.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I have to admit, I love the crunch on my Roast Beef with American cheese (white) on home made sourdough bread.

Brother, you may wish to rethink the sourdough bread. I've been told that it's part of the culture of Sin Francrisco, and we wouldn't want to give those people special privileges by eating their bread.

[apple9]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

After a special meeting of the Ladies of Landover, it has now been determined to ban the following foods from True Christian™ households. Bear in mind this is as well as all Biblical prohibitions, so don't start boiling those lobsters yet!

To avoid encouraging sodomy
Bananas
Cucumbers
Carrots
Eggplants
Walnuts
Salamis
Pepperonis
Count Dracula cereal (gateway to gothicness as well)
Grape Nuts
Corn dogs
Fruit Loops
Skittles
Papist wafers
Captain Crunch
Zucchini
Summer Squash
Summer Sausage
Bratwurst
Any kind of Gord
Keilbasa
Choriszzo
Puffed Wheat

Hippies are Godless scum
Tofu
Arugula
Goat cheese
Granola
Alfalfa sprouts
Asparagus
Brownies (we know what they add!)

If God wanted your husband to be a rabbit, He would have created him as one
Lettuce
Carrots (again)
Beets
Turnips

We're AMERICANS, so no fancy foreign stuff!
Tacos
Burritos
Kiwi fruits
Brussels sprouts
Guacamole
Red peppers
French fries (Freedom fries are acceptable and welcome!)
Pizza (especially if it has pepperonis (see above))
Lucky Charms cereal
Snails
Frog legs
Rice
Sushi
Burger King French Toast Sticks or any French Toast
Keilbasa (Polacks are also papists!)
Choriszzo (I don't even know what this is, but according to Sister BTB it belongs on the list twice!)
Haggis

Because nobody likes them anyway
Spinach
Lima beans
Broccoli

Look what happened when Eve got ahold of one!
Apples (except in pie form)

Reminder that it's the devil's fruit
Pumpkins

Please bear in mind that this list is not yet complete, and can be added to. Any suggestions that have been missed are greatly appreciated.

i can comply with all but one of those

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

i can comply with all but one of those

Well it's fortunate you're not a True Christian(tm) then.

[Nobar King]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I'm sure glad that pancakes didn't make this list. And popcorn, too. Are waffles OK as long as you don't call them Belgican waffles?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

Are waffles OK as long as you don't call them Belgican waffles?

The next time you're over, I'll have to get my wife to make some of her freedom waffles for you.

[UnitarianGamer]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

Oh, man! I just realized that my family eats a lot of the foods on that list! What should I do?

[Nobar King]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

Oh, man! I just realized that my family eats a lot of the foods on that list! What should I do?

Since you're already going to hell for denying Christ, I hardly think it matters if you change your diet.

[Nobar King]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I'm going to suggest that Nestle's new product, abuelita-granulado, should be avoided in favor of plain Hershey's milk chocolate.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

Granulated Granny?

[Levi Jones]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian(tm) households

Churros! Both phallic and ethnic!

[Robert Hutchins]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I'm disgusted. Why can't Americans eat American food?

I did notice many of these items were a staple in my house. I'll let my wife know to not use them any more! Thank you for the effort put into this post.

However, my wife does male a delicious apple pie, the orchard in our very own town. Not a single illegal immigrant works there.

[Nobar King]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

If there was anything wrong with apple pie we would know, Eve would have offered it to Adam in the Garden of Eden. I suppose cooking the apples render them harmless, much like eggs and pork.

[Satanica]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

Peanut Butter's fine right, so i'm good.

[DavidBenjamin]

Re: List of foods now prohibited in True Christian™ households

I'm going to suggest that Nestle's new product, abuelita-granulado, should be avoided in favor of plain Hershey's milk chocolate.

isn't Chocolate a product of Columbia from the Cocoa Farms?