[eliot mayfield]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

I trust in God, not cholesterol counts!

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Thank you for your kind words. I get my cholesterol checked yearly, and it's always normal.

PRAISE!

Maybe you could send that prayer out to me too, sister. Actually all the Men of Landover Baptist could probably use a Godly Roto-Rooter® ream job on our True Christian™ arteries.

Good Pastor, of course I will pray for all of you.

Dear Baby Jesus,
Please destroy the demons of arterial disease vexing all the men at Landover. Lord, we know you created us to be a nation of super-sized meat, cheese and grease eating Godly Christians. I ask you to keep the pipes of our Pastors free and and their arteries unhardened. I ask this in the name of our Lord Jesus and by the power of his cholesterol free blood,
AMEN

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Thank you for your kind words. I get my cholesterol checked yearly, and it's always normal.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Dear Baby Jesus,
Please smite the agents of cholesterol and plaque in Brother Nobar's blood. I ask that you shrink your angels so they may travel through Brother Nobar's main cables and hold up his arteries like holy winged stents. I'm sure he would really like that bacon lollipop so PLEASE get to him before it does. In the name of Our Lord And Savior,
AMEN

Maybe you could send that prayer out to me too, sister. Actually all the Men of Landover Baptist could probably use a Godly Roto-Rooter(r) ream job on our True Christian™ arteries.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Dear Baby Jesus,
Please smite the agents of cholesterol and plaque in Brother Nobar's blood. I ask that you shrink your angels so they may travel through Brother Nobar's main cables and hold up his arteries like holy winged stents. I'm sure he would really like that bacon lollipop so PLEASE get to him before it does. In the name of Our Lord And Savior,
AMEN

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

I HAVE to get some of those maple-bacon pops. That's the BOMB!! I can't believe that I didn't think of that. I hope they taste smoky, too.

[confedchick]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Lest we not forget the beverage and an after dinner lollipop...

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

I'm somewhat timid to try this one:

double bacon hamburger fatty melt:



The stack-up on this one:

• * Bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwich as bun top
• * Cheese
• * Bacon
• * Four-ounce beef patty
• * Bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwich as interstitial bun (a nod to the Big Mac)
• * Bacon
• * Cheeese
• * Four-ounce beef patty
• * Bacon-stuffed grilled cheese sandwich as bun bottom

And here's the autopsy shot:

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Here's something good you can get at the ballpark:
French fry-covered bacon on a stick.

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

When you're ready to floss your teeth after dinner it's not pleasant to corrupt the taste of bacon with some mint dental floss, that's why they made bacofloss:

Tastes like bacon, but cleans like floss.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

I've "trimmed the fat" from this thread. Parts that are not useful to wives planning for their husband's needs have been moved here.

[Sally Paulson]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

There's always something good about foods that are white:

Ew! You'll look that anemic if you eat rabbit-feed like that!

This is what human-food looks like:


Ball park to sell monster 4,800-calorie burger

In an apparent bid to cook up some comfort food during hard economic times, the West Michigan Whitecaps are offering fans a behemoth dubbed the Fifth Third Burger, named after the team's ball park and the meal's five beef patties, which each weigh 136 grams.


The burger is smothered with chilli, salsa, sour cream and a dollop of melted nacho-style cheese - topped off with Frito chips, lettuce, tomato and five slices of American cheese and laid out in a bun made with 454 grams of dough...


In addition to weighing in at more than double the US daily recommended caloric intake, the Fifth Third Burger contains nearly 300 grams of fat, 744 milligrams of cholesterol and more than 10,000 milligrams of sodium, the paper said.


Mr Lane shrugged off the health implications inherent in taking on the Fifth Third.


"At home, people eat healthy. When they come to a game, they might eat a hot dog."

[Nobar King]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

There's always something good about foods that are white:

[Mrs. Robert Roberts]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

In the Roberts household we don't consider it a proper meal unless it contains at least:
20,000 calories
10,000 mg sodium
300 grams fat, most of which are the good saturated type.

Furthermore, if it can't be hunted with a handgun, rifle or machine gun, it ain't food.
Vegetables are allowed as long as they total less than 1% of the entire meal. Heathen foods such as tofu and seaweed are not permitted.

Home made spirits are permitted only for adults over the age of 11.

Jesus told Mr. Roberts that this is the only acceptable diet for True Christians.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: WIVES TAKE NOTE: A proper day's cooking!

Baconnaise is so good it was featured on the Daily Show to high acclaim:

http://www.briansbelly.com/news-blog/move-over-mayo-baconnaise-is-here-to-stays/

John Stewart also liked the pancake-on-a-stick.

The influence of Landover Baptist is far and wide. This isn't the first time a that a bit of chatter on this site has been picked up by the mainstream media.