Hiding Bruises

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Hiding Bruises

The simplest solution would be to just stay indoors. My wife Cindy Lou is never allowed outside. That means I have to take care of the yard work, but at least the liberal media won't be sniffing around her looking for bruises and open sores.

If there is an emergency, and you must go outside for some reason, perhaps during a blizzard as a punishment, then have the Reverend Jim Osborne perform a Christian laying on of hands. This is sure to cover up any unsightly topical damage.

Excellent solution. The only time I really go outside is to hang the laundry and do yard work, and I can have my four daughters do that until the bruises heal.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Well ladies, it's time to share our secrets. The liebral media seems to think there's something wrong with a husband disciplining his wife when she sins, so it has become necessary for us to find ways to hide our marks of punishment.

Yesterday, I am ashamed to say I burned the pie I was making for my husband. He disciplined me accordingly, and I don't want my hippy neighbors asking questions about the bruises. Any advice on concealment? They're mostly around my eyes, so I can't cover them with clothing. I have no make up in my house (Only whores do!) so that's out as well. I could try sun glasses, but my husband says they make me look mannish, so I'd prefer to save those as a last resort. Any other ideas, ladies?

The simplest solution would be to just stay indoors. My wife Cindy Lou is never allowed outside. That means I have to take care of the yard work, but at least the liberal media won't be sniffing around her looking for bruises and open sores.

If there is an emergency, and you must go outside for some reason, perhaps during a blizzard as a punishment, then have the Reverend Jim Osborne perform a Christian laying on of hands. This is sure to cover up any unsightly topical damage.

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Well there's just nothing I hate worse than nosy neighbors, unless they are True Christians sniffing out sin in the neighborhood.

I don't see why you should want to hide the bruises your husband gave you.

Most wives aren't so fortunate as to marry a manly man True Christian who will beat the fear of GOD into their wives, and you should wear the bruises he gives you as a trophy.

I am very fortunate to have a manly Christian husband. I'm very grateful.

I wouldn't want to hide them, but I'm afraid my liberal neighbors will have my husband arrested if they find out where they came from. It's apparently a "crime" to punish your own wife!

[Bob4God]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Well there's just nothing I hate worse than nosy neighbors, unless they are True Christians sniffing out sin in the neighborhood.

I don't see why you should want to hide the bruises your husband gave you.

Most wives aren't so fortunate as to marry a manly man True Christian who will beat the fear of GOD into their wives, and you should wear the bruises he gives you as a trophy.

[Good Christian Woman]

Well ladies, it's time to share our secrets. The liebral media seems to think there's something wrong with a husband disciplining his wife when she sins, so it has become necessary for us to find ways to hide our marks of punishment.

Yesterday, I am ashamed to say I burned the pie I was making for my husband. He disciplined me accordingly, and I don't want my hippy neighbors asking questions about the bruises. Any advice on concealment? They're mostly around my eyes, so I can't cover them with clothing. I have no make up in my house (Only whores do!) so that's out as well. I could try sun glasses, but my husband says they make me look mannish, so I'd prefer to save those as a last resort. Any other ideas, ladies?