[Cindy Lou Jenkins]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Having little in the way of sense, seeing as i am a woman and all, i frequently act out in passive aggressive ways for the attention of my husband Billy Bob. This tendency has been somewhat curbed by a campaign of oars, paddles, rackets, switches, billy clubs, batons, ratan canes, practice swords, mattock handles, and a variety of other common and uncommon implements that my husband finds wieldy. This being said, some disobedience from a woman toward her husband, in the privacy of the home and not in front of the children, can be part of God's divine plan on occasion, in the same way that a Negro acting in accordance with his own nature can only be expected to commit rape and pie pilfery on occasion. Some Negroes, like some women, are simply predestined for Hell.

i realize this may seem like a controversial, even perhaps a "progressive" idea to some, but moderate disobedience of a Christian woman towards her husband gives a man the opportunity to exercise the full scope of his disciplinary authority, and gives him cause to prove his manly dominance over her in ways that would otherwise remain dormant in the man/wife relationship.

(Billy Bob: I approve this post)

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hiding Bruises

..some women, are simply predestined for Hell(Billy Bob: I approve this post)

surely we are all predestined for HELL Mrs Jenkins, subject to the caveat in I Timothy 2:15a?

I TIMOTHY 2:15a Notwithstanding she shall be saued in child-bearing..

but conditional upon the 4 provisos of I Timothy 2:15b, I Timothy 2:15c, I Timothy 2:15d & I Timothy 2:15e
I TIMOTHY 2:15b IF they continue in faith

I TIMOTHY 2:15c and charitie,

I TIMOTHY 2:15d and holinesse,

I TIMOTHY 2:15e with sobrietie.

I am getting very confused now is that 5 caveats or 4 conditions and 1 caveat or 0 caveats and 5 conditions or are they all provisions or what would happen if something unholy occurred on the death-bed

This example alone of God's miraculous intervention in our affairs should slay the atheist dragon where once it stood erect and menacing that He should stoop so low.

Isaiah 51:9

[KittyKat]

Re: Hiding Bruises

My Father punishes me in many different ways, but the most common is spanking my bare bottom, this is easily covered up just by wearing clothes!

[Humongous]

Re: Hiding Bruises

well, i live alone out here in the trailer ever since daddy and mama went to Jesus (RIP). But I do receive quite a few catfish and snappin turtle bites when I go swimmin in the bog? these critters have right powerful jaws, so theys always leaving the odd mark, and i think its important for a lady to look her best, especially in the eyes of Christ! so I like to keep them bites n bruises covered up, but I aint got no fancy Hollywood makeup like Zha ZHa Gabor? Sos I got to improvise, Praise God! most of the time them bites is bleedin something morbid, sos my cover-ups double as a poultice of sorts? I usually make a mixture of cat urine and rotten pumpkin mush, then I dip some shamwows in the salve, an apply them too the many welts and nips on my flesh folds. Hooweee, it burns something holocaustic! but it makes them welts heal quicker.

He is risen,
Lori H.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Hiding Bruises

I wear my "shiners" like a badge of pride. They show that Pastor Zeke's loves me enough to "correct" me and help me get to HEAVEN.

+ =

[KittyKat]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Would using leeches, like this be a good idea as a form of punishment? My Dad wants to know.

well, i live alone out here in the trailer ever since daddy and mama went to Jesus (RIP). But I do receive quite a few catfish and snappin turtle bites when I go swimmin in the bog? these critters have right powerful jaws, so theys always leaving the odd mark, and i think its important for a lady to look her best, especially in the eyes of Christ! so I like to keep them bites n bruises covered up, but I aint got no fancy Hollywood makeup like Zha ZHa Gabor? Sos I got to improvise, Praise God! most of the time them bites is bleedin something morbid, sos my cover-ups double as a poultice of sorts? I usually make a mixture of cat urine and rotten pumpkin mush, then I dip some shamwows in the salve, an apply them too the many welts and nips on my flesh folds. Hooweee, it burns something holocaustic! but it makes them welts heal quicker.

He is risen,
Lori H.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hiding Bruises

I wear my "shiners" like a badge of pride. They show that Pastor Zeke's loves me enough to "correct" me and help me get to HEAVEN.

+ =

If that isn't the smile of a lady in love, knowing her man loves her back, I don't know what is!

Beautiful!

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Hiding Bruises

I wear my "shiners" like a badge of pride. They show that Pastor Zeke's loves me enough to "correct" me and help me get to HEAVEN.

+ =

Amen, Daisy Mae! If only we all lived in a world without liberal hippies crying over "spousal abuse." Then we could all wear our shiners with pride.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hiding Bruises

For some bruises you only need a turtleneck sweater.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hiding Bruises

If a woman keeps her head down when scrubbing the floor, the 'touches of Jesus' will not be an issue.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Why is your husband using his fist instead of a rod, as directed in the Bible?

A rod to the buttocks will not leave marks where they can be seen by anyone but your husband. And you'll be reminded of your improper behavior every time you choose to sit down for days, instead of just when you look at yourself in a mirror!

I have to agree with you Rev.. Since the object of the exercise is a learning experience for your wife, not some act of mindless violence, there is no reason that you can not wait until you have access to your favorite caning instrument where the strikes can be well placed, without the need to worry about some nosy libeleral calling the authorities and you having to waste your time explaining it is none of their damn business what happens between a man, his wife, and their deep felt religious beliefs!
Besides this I find that if you have a set ''discipline time'' right after dinner your food is on the table a little faster and I never have to ask for my ice filled up! Yep I never mention her mistakes of the day until after I have had my supper.

[Humongous]

Re: Hiding Bruises

Would using leeches, like this be a good idea as a form of punishment? My Dad wants to know.

well, friend KittyKat, when I was growin up, my parents would always use leeches as a reward, and a leranin tool. after I swam in the bog, my supple fleshfolds would usually be covered in leeches, and we'd count em, and burn em off, Praise Christ! it's essentially how I learned my arithmetic? ifn i got my sums right, I got to keep them dead leeches for to fry up and eat as a snack? I found the longer I let em suckle my quivering flesh folds, the plumper n juicier they got! Good eatin!

God Bless,
Lori H

[davidkellyy]

Re: Hiding Bruises

If this is true which I am almost certain that it is not then please, call the police.

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: Hiding Bruises

If this is true which I am almost certain that it is not then please, call the police.

Proverbs 20:30
The bluenessof a wound cleanseth away evil

YIC

Jack

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hiding Bruises

If this is true which I am almost certain that it is not then please, call the police.

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. (Hebrews 12:11)

This is a praise forum. We praise God in all things, even physical discomfort. But more importantly, we know God's Ways are Higher and if Good Christian Woman's Godly husband wants to glorify God by following His Will, not only will that bring praise to the LORD on High, but that will surely bring "peaceable fruit of righteousness" into their marriage. Why would you suggest she call the police and ruin that potential righteousness? You can learn more about Godly Christian Discipline in my signature - the link for married ladies.

God Bless,

Mary