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  • James Hutchins
    True Christian™
    Just a Regular Nice Guy
     
    • Jun 2009
    • 29433

    #1

    Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

    Through a well coordinated effort by many of the Freehold Elders, the old decrepit Landover Theater has been converted in to a private mens club. Forty-eight hours, 100 men working round the clock guided by Jesus's skillful hands (he is such a fine carpenter-Is there nothing he cannot do?) accomplished the task.

    I am sure this comes as a surprise to many but I assure you this was not just a spur of the moment decision. Late last summer, during a golf game with Zeke, Rev. Jim, Bobby-Joe, Pastor Peters, Bob4God and a few others, we were lamenting that there was not a location downtown where men could meet and talk without the cackling of women, children underfoot and undesirables smelling the place up.
    A search of town hall records (thanks to Wide-Open for arranging this) showed the Theater lease was set to expire on March 12th. We had the fire inspector in at midnight (thanks to Ofc. Don for the late night donuts) to condemn the place. The city then bequeathed it to the Church and the the wise Pastors decided the property was not needed as it was right next door to a downtown outreach mini-mall Church and Bible store. They sold it to the Freehold Men's Association(r) for a dollar.
    Spearheaded by Jesus, all the menfolk set to work. Rev. Jim was fantastic at rebuking curious onlookers, enabling the rest of us to complete the task. We can have up to 1,000 members in attendance, food is being supplied by the Landover Westin. The interior is all mahogany and fine wool carpeting, with leather seating made from unblemished caged baby calves. "Simply Sumptuous" were the words of one of the workers who will not be admitted to the club.
    Now, we all know about other clubs and the lawsuits brought by women and minorities. We want everyone to know, we will not discriminate. We will allow nigras in to serve drinks in the billiard room. There will be women working in the dining room, hat check room and as private mens room attendants.
    So, for those that did not know about this off shoot of Project Habukkak, I apologize but we wanted to surprise everyone with the gift of camaraderie.

    Membership Chairman, Rev. Osborne will be approving applications as well as processing the related fees. As always, if you have to ask about the fees, then maybe this is not the right club for you.

    If you are interested in joining, you must be sponsored by at least three members. Once submitted, non-refundable fees paid, a vote will be held during the monthly meeting of members. You will be billed for the cost of the evening. If you are voted in by 100% of the membership, a review of your Tithing and Church attendance by you and your family (parents, siblings, and other relations) will be reviewed. Again, no one will be discriminated against based on gender, race or religious affiliation. Rest assured our joo lawyers have reviewed everything and in Mecham's words, "the contract, it is kosher".

    Lastly, to showcase the new club, I have submitted a letter to the town voting director to request that the voting for the entire town takes place in the club.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12299

    #2
    Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

    Brother James-- A wonderful new addition to the City of Freehold.

    The fellowship and comrraderie that will take place in that new facility will serve the residents of our City for years to come.

    Congratualtions to all who were involved in its creation.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • Rev. M. Rodimer
      Honorary True Christian™
      Forum Member
      • May 2008
      • 13996

      #3
      Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

      I can't wait to visit!

      My Left Shoe is a firm believer that, since there is an existing Ladies' Club, the Ladies of Landover, it is only fair and proper to have a Men's Club.

      My Left Shoe congratulates Freehold on its progressive "separate but equal" solution, and looks forward to visiting both the Men's Club and the Ladies of Landover Doublewide Trailer on the campaign trail!
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29433

        #4
        Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

        A gentle reminder, a visitors must be escorted in by a member and have their name presubmitted 24 hours prior to a visit for a DoF screening. No visitors can simply show up and tell security that "My friend, Mr. So-N-So is in side waiting for me." The exception being members bringing female 'assistants'.
        I am sure everyone understands that we need to ensure the riff-raf is kept out. After all, what is the point of an exclusive club if it is not difficult to get into?
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • James Dewitt
          #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
          • Jan 2010
          • 6267

          #5
          Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

          Brother James I have submitted my application as well as 5 years membership dues. I hope the first vote will take place soon, I have arranged for 2 Iron chefs to cater the meal.
          On a side note I have taken the liberty to have a brass plaque made up with Beaux McManus on it, maybe we can put it on the door to the boiler room. With out him being such a big sucker nice young man, we would have had to wait for a few more months.

          Comment

          • James Hutchins
            True Christian™
            Just a Regular Nice Guy
             
            • Jun 2009
            • 29433

            #6
            Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

            Brother Dewitt, being the grand opening is not until after JJH takes office, I am not at liberty to say who is on the list of founding fathers. Needless to say, almost everyone involved in Project Habukkak is on the list, except of course, the individuals who were test subjects and those working because they were the best in their respective fields (the joos, indians, you know the sorts).
            Those True Christians™ unable to directly attend these functions but opertate key positions in the Church are automatically made members. People Such as W-O and Zeke, Eliot and others.

            But I strongly suggest, the day after the election, you wear your best suit
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996

              #7
              Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
              Brother Dewitt, being the grand opening is not until after JJH takes office, I am not at liberty to say who is on the list of founding fathers. Needless to say, almost everyone involved in Project Habukkak is on the list, except of course, the individuals who were test subjects and those working because they were the best in their respective fields (the joos, indians, you know the sorts).
              Those True Christians™ unable to directly attend these functions but opertate key positions in the Church are automatically made members. People Such as W-O and Zeke, Eliot and others.

              But I strongly suggest, the day after the election, you wear your best suit
              What about those who were accidentally poisoned? >ahem<
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29433

                #8
                Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                What about those who were accidentally poisoned? >ahem<
                According to my attorneys, I have no comment regarding any alledged events associated with Project Habukkak.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • Alfred King
                  Unsaved trash, race-mixing nigra
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 398

                  #9
                  Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                  Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                  almost everyone involved in Project Habukkak is on the list, except of course, the individuals who were test subjects
                  Thank you for confirming in public that Project Habukkak exists and that it has test subjects. So far no one has been willing to admit this in public. This will be very helpful in my investigation into this.
                  The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
                  • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
                  • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
                  • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
                  NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

                  Comment

                  • Rev. M. Rodimer
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Forum Member
                    • May 2008
                    • 13996

                    #10
                    Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                    Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                    According to my attorneys, I have no comment regarding any alledged events associated with Project Habukkak.
                    I've only heard of Project Habbakuk, actually. That's the one that I got poisoned by.
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • James Hutchins
                      True Christian™
                      Just a Regular Nice Guy
                       
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 29433

                      #11
                      Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                      Originally posted by Alfred King View Post
                      Thank you for confirming in public that Project Habukkak exists and that it has test subjects. So far no one has been willing to admit this in public. This will be very helpful in my investigation into this.
                      Why Al, you know perfectly well the testing was for Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation and Sentence Structure. WE want the CoL (Children of Landover) to greatly exceed the SOL test requirements to keep the Federal board of Education out. We have nothing to hide. You know, you would of been given a complete briefing had you come to the woods that day with Brothers Cranky, Dewitt, Cheny and myself. During the hunt, it had been our intention to brief you completely at the time, we thought you were a reasonable man.
                      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29433

                        #12
                        Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                        I've only heard of Project Habbakuk, actually. That's the one that I got poisoned by.
                        Now now, there is no proof the Project had anything to do with that alleged poisoning. Perhaps the lunch that you had packed was bad? I did read the medical report. They stated that all your tests came back perfect, with absolutely no sign of any poison or other problems.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                          Honorary True Christian™
                          Forum Member
                          • May 2008
                          • 13996

                          #13
                          Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                          Now now, there is no proof the Project had anything to do with that alleged poisoning. Perhaps the lunch that you had packed was bad? I did read the medical report. They stated that all your tests came back perfect, with absolutely no sign of any poison or other problems.
                          Brother Ezekiel Bathfire and I discussed it some time ago. He gave me the remedy, which worked perfectly.

                          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                          Um . . . When I was last in Freehold, the second week of January, I hadn't been given any warnings about this project . . . I ate fish from the river . . . Should I be worried? Or is it just important that I get to Freehold by March 1 and just ignore the night sweats and tremors? and disturbing lustful urges and priapism?

                          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                          Apply (-)-(S)-9-fluoro-2,3-dihydro-3-methyl-10-(4-methyl-1-piperazinyl)-7-oxo-7H-pyrido[1,2,3-de]-1,4-benzoxazine-6-carboxylic acid hemihydrate to the entire body, 8 times a day and try not to breathe too much. You stand a better than 7% chance of being unaffected in later life.

                          Oh, and don't worry.
                          Considering what I've been through, along with My Left Shoe's commitment to Freehold's political future, I don't think membership in the Men's Club should be too much to ask.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment

                          • James Dewitt
                            #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 6267

                            #14
                            Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

                            Considering what I've been through, along with My Left Shoe's commitment to Freehold's political future, I don't think membership in the Men's Club should be too much to ask.
                            If I am granted membership I will see what can be done.

                            Comment

                            • James Hutchins
                              True Christian™
                              Just a Regular Nice Guy
                               
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 29433

                              #15
                              Re: Just in Time - Grand Opening of the Freehold Men's Club

                              Probably not, I'll be sure to submit your request to the membership committee. Keep in mind, to join, you have to post a $250K bond (refundable upon death or quitting the club in good standing)and pay for the membership committee dinner (figure it is about $300 a head, with at present, 293 members. I know it is not cheap but it is worth every penny. The expense of the dinner may seem like a lot but if you are an early member, you get all subsequent membership dinners for free. It is a great investment in your future and all your son's future.
                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                              Comment

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