Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Praise JESUS!! Can we all shout GLORY!! THIS is wonderful news! It seems that after 3 weeks in de-sodomite therapy. JESUS has cured him of all faggotry!

Ted Haggard Now Completely Heterosexual

What a difference a couple months make. Ted Haggard, who hired a male prostitute and did illicit drugs with him, now claims to he has been "cured" from homosexuality. The former president of the National Association of Evangelicals went through three weeks of intensive counseling which he says made him straight. So, for all you gay men out there, next time you have some meth and you see Haggard out there remember he is off-limits and not interested.

THANK YOU JESUS for returning this might pastor to his flock! This is further proof that God can cure the sodomy right out of you.

GLORY!!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Praise JESUS!! Can we all shout GLORY!! THIS is wonderful news! It seems that after 3 weeks in de-sodomite therapy. JESUS has cured him of all faggotry!

Glory, indeed!

Pastor, between this wonderful story of the conquest of sin, and that beautiful song by that Donnie Davies, I'm moved to suggest that we here on the Forum take up the gauntlet, as it were, and begin ministering to Sodomites ourselves! If Betty Bowers can do it with her Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals ministry in person, surely we can help drag a few homers out of the mineshaft of despair and misery as well! Why, we can forge them anew on the anvil of Jesus' Love! In time, they will soar like eagles, liberated from the bondage of sin and depravity!

Of course, it would probably be best to focus such discussions in a separate ex-gay ministries area, so the Ladies of Landover aren't accidentally exposed to sweaty man-on-man perversion, or tempted into Lezbionic fantasies!

Perhaps it could be called The Anvil: Pounding Homers Straight, or maybe Backdoor Christians: Straight 4 Jesus!

Or others might have better suggestions?

[Brother Love]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Praise the Lord! I knew God could and would CURE Brother Ted of his SODOMY sin. Praise sweet Jesus!!

On Your Knees I think you have an excellent idea and, personally, I like the name "Straight 4 Jesus!"

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Praise! Once again Jesus has proven lieberals and Sodomites wrong! If people are "born that way", then how could they be cured? Of course they can't answer that question. Sodomites are worse than Hitler, forever goosemincing their way over all the good True Christians™ and our families! Now we have more Truth that we can shove in their pasty, made-up faces!

This is the real Super Bowl, my friends, and the score is God 12,677, Sodomites 0. Glory!

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

After reading about this "miracle" in the news concerning Teddy-Twinkboy I'm laughing so hard I can hardly post this!!

It has now been 90 days since former Pastor Ted Haggard was dethroned by the Christian Right over his homosexual affair with a gay prostitute. Now, miraculously, Ted has emerged again after having "discovered" that he is "completely heterosexual." Further, the Church Board has concluded "It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing." So, Ted was "acting out"? What? Are we to believe that he was simply and innocently role playing a game or something? Give me a break!

The fact is that Ted's Church is now trying to save face and is conducting "damage control." Their real fear is that they will lose the millions of dollars in tithes that they receive each year from members of their Congregation. They are now trying to paint Ted as "completely heterosexual" EVEN though there is NO such thing in human sexuality!! There is NOT one person on the face of this planet that is completely straight and that is a FACT! It is a well established psychological fact that ALL human beings have homosexual tendancies.

What really amazes me is that Ted's Church Board seems to think that everybody is so gullible. They are actually insulting every member of that Congregation and all the rest of the world as well by their ignorant statements about Haggard now being completely straight. Obviously, they have NO respect for the intelligence of other people including the members of their Church!

We are expected to believe that is just 90 days the self righteous, money and ego hungry Haggard has been "cured" of his homosexuality and that, really, it was nothing at all but simple stage acting or something of the sort. Rightttt...........LOL This only proves once again that no matter what the situation is the Christian Right will SPIN and TWIST it so that it strengthens their own SINFUL HATRED of gay men and women! I would say 90% of those people are badly in need of some serious psychiatric treatment! But wait! Haggard is now going to return to college and get a degree in psychology, he says! Well, Ted should have plenty of clients then.

The claim that Ted is now "cured" of his homosexuality is just one more knife in the camel's back! Frankly, I am SICK of the Christian Right and of their lunacy! They run to and fro lost in their self righteous egotism (ie: SINFUL selves according to the Bible) thinking that they do NOTHING wrong. That is the thinking of FOOLS according to the Bible itself by the way!

Let's face the facts here. Ted is GAY!! Ted was born GAY! Ted will die GAY! Ted has been trying to hide his homosexuality for his entire life! Ted is now spinning it all so because he got caught being GAY and he's trying to save face in his Church but especially he's trying to save the mega-Church BANK ACCOUNTS!! The SAD thing is that, once again, gay people are being used as SCAPEGOATS by Ted and Company!!

This recent "revelation" concerning Haggard is LAUGHABLE! The further insult to gay people IS NOT! I really think Ted needs to get a divorce, hook up with his gay lover, and live his life just being his REAL self and FREE. But, alas, I'm sure that will NOT happen as bank accounts must be considered above all else. I conclude by saying Ted hasn't only tried hiding his own homosexuality for years but that he has also tried to hide something else for years. That being a false teacher teaching false doctrines! I guess Ted just missed that part of Biblical teaching during his "acting out" times.

Now, Pulpit Pounders...chew on THAT for awhile!!!!!!!!!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

How can you insult someone who has chosen to throw their life away by committing such vile, disgusting acts that God promises them that "their blood shall be upon them"? You queers have insulted yourselves by rejecting Jesus. Pastor Ted has learned the hard way that Jesus does not look the other way when it comes to sodomy.

You homers are plenty quick to scream and squeal about being offended, well how about the way you all offend Jesus and every True Christian™ on earth by your perversions and prancing about, forcing your chosen lifestyle on us?!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

I conclude by saying Ted hasn't only tried hiding his own homosexuality for years but that he has also tried to hide something else for years. That being a false teacher teaching false doctrines! I guess Ted just missed that part of Biblical teaching during his "acting out" times.

Much as I hate to say it, I must agree with this portion of the Hostess Twinkie's bizarre and demented rant.

Haggard was preaching condemnation of Sodomites for many years, while being one himself. Whether he was cured through God's grace or not, the rapid timing (as compared to even Betty Bowers' BASH program or Donnie Davies' CHOPS) leaves me wondering whether the cure is yet complete. After all, he should still have burns from the electrodes clearly visible . . . or be most uncomfortable sitting down, one or the other!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

I don’t see what your problem with this Twink; Satan clearly had a grip on Haggard’s tallywacker but now Jesus’ love has descended on it and given Haggard release. It should be something to praise, not decry.

Yes, everyone is at heart a homer until they are saved, as The Bible tells us. But Jesus stops that, when you look into Jesus kind blue eyes and take His soft but strong hands the gayness goes out of a man! One just has the to look at secular society to see the homerism out there; the gay bars, truck stop rest rooms, video store booths, the list goes on. In fact I have a list of forty five such places were a man can have anonymous homer sex in Iowa alone! That shows you how bad the problem is. However you will find none of that in Freehold. You only can be strait with Jesus.

[Pastor Bob]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Christian Science prevails again!

Why even here in Freehold we have Born Again Bob, who has been cured of Homerism.

BAB is a fine and True Christian who owns one of the best flower shops in all of Iowa. He had to go to extremes to deal with his lust for men, but he will tell you that was worth for eternal life.

I do not know what further proof is needed that homerism is nothing but a "lifestyle choice" influenced by Satan himself.

Pastor Bob

[Brother Love]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Well I knew sooner or later the Homer "rights" garbage would come out of Twinkie Boy's vile demon mouth! They all scream like girly girls about their rights while at the same time they FORCE their SIN on the rest of us and demand we accept it as "normal."

Now, I know one thing and that is that JESUS works MIRACLES and just who are the homers to question that? Who knows except the LORD ALMIGHTY if Rev. Ted is "cured" of his sodomy or not? If he says he is then I think he is cured of his final SIN and as Christians it is our place to FORGIVE and NOT condemn!

Now, I suppose that IF the truth were known (and it obviously is not yet know fully) that the Sodomite PROSTITUTE actually SEDUCED Rev. Ted once he slipped DRUGS into his chocolate milkshake or water glass. BUT, I'm sure that the Homer controlled media is not going to release that tidbit of factual information are they? Instead they have SPUN the TALE to make Pastor Ted look like the VILE and EVIL one while painting the QUEER SODOMITE PROSTITUTE as the one of innocense! I'm POSITIVE that it was the OTHER way around, however!

I just PRAISE JESUS that He has seen fit to CURE Ted Haggard of his HOMERSEUXALISM. Glory to the Lord Almighty! This just PROVES once again that JESUS DOES WORK MIRACLES and all DESPITE what the likes of Twinkie Boy might think to the contrary.

PRAISE THE SWEET LORD FOR THIS MIRACLE!!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

Praise Jesus! This just goes to show that through Jesus, anything is possible! He has turned this downright ugly situation into a work for Good! Back when I first heard about this vile story of Teddy playing tiddly-winkies with that sodomite, I thought that this was just another undercover liberal brought to the surface. But now it seems that this was God's plan all along! He has turned a situation that caused me to damage over 6 figures worth of lab equipment in anger into a shining example that all sodomites should follow. How great is our God! GLORY!

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Ted Haggard Cured of Homerism!

I do not know what further proof is needed that homerism is nothing but a "lifestyle choice" influenced by Satan himself.

GLORY!!

Congratulations to Pastor Haggard for overcoming the insidious lure of Satan. It is truly one of the Lord's miracles that this wayward son could shake off the temptation produced by the sound of a zipper echoing against the tile of the bus station restroom.

PRAISE!!