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  • Larry Lee
    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
    True Christian™ Theologian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 4464

    #1

    Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

    Brothers and Cistern, what I am about to show you is so horrible, it can only mean the End Times are a heartbeat away: A monstrous deformity. A sign. And it happened in New Zealand, from which I would flee, if I was so unfortunate as to find myself upon that crag of rock in the middle of the Pacific.

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    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #2
    Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

    Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
    Brothers and Cistern, what I am about to show you is so horrible, it can only mean the End Times are a heartbeat away: A monstrous deformity. A sign. And it happened in New Zealand, from which I would flee, if I was so unfortunate as to find myself upon that crag of rock in the middle of the Pacific.

    http://www.boston.com/news/odd/artic...ews+of+the+odd
    Oh my GOD Brother!

    That is b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d!
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    Tweet me Here
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    • WilliamJenningsBryan
      True Christian™
       
      • Jan 2007
      • 9384

      #3
      Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

      This is frightening Brother Lee. I'm certainly going to avoid buying any more of those New Zealand legs of lamb at the Costco the next few months. I can't help but think that this is one of those Darwinist genetic experiments gone awry - certainly Jesus is sending us a message.
      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
      ...and get off my lawn
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      • Brother Temperance
        Senior Usher
        True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
        A very nice young man
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15621

        #4
        Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

        How will the kiwis know which legs to jam into their boots?
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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        • Brother Guy Bayard
          Anvil of the Antipodes
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2007
          • 1271

          #5
          Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

          Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
          How will the kiwis know which legs to jam into their boots?
          mmmm. group sex perhaps?
          The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
          Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

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          • Sister Noddy
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2007
            • 1843

            #6
            Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post

            How will the kiwis know which legs to jam into their boots?
            I know a coupla kiwis, and I was thinking the same thing
            1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
            1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


            1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

            Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
            Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

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            • Bobby-Joe
              Landover Security Superviser
              Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
              NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 18405

              #7
              Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

              Hmpth, this is probably Lilith half assed magical attempt to fuffil every man in New Zealand's dream; a sheep with two butts.

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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              • Wash O'Hanley
                Debate Moderator (and participant)
                Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
                Louder Than Reason
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 2126

                #8
                Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

                This is such a sure sign of the apocalypse that I've already begun swallowing balloons full of my money. When we get to Heaven things that are in our lower intestine come with us, right?
                Last edited by Wash O'Hanley; 08-05-2007, 11:32 PM.
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                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78552

                  #9
                  Re: Apocalypse starts in New Zealand

                  Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                  Hmpth, this is probably Lilith half assed magical attempt to fuffil every man in New Zealand's dream; a sheep with two butts.
                  I don't know about that Brother BJ. Think of the customers she'd lose...
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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