If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

The Department of Homeland Security reminds us that if you see something, then say something. This is the time to be vigilant. As the 10th anniversary of 9/11 approaches, the probability of a terrorist attack is about 90% (although there is a 10% chance that statistic is correct.) As a result, if you see anything suspicious like this, report it to your local pastor, FBI/DHS office, or police...

• People carrying suitcases.
• Anyone driving a van.
• People who walk past you and don't look you in the eye.
• Anyone who mentions "civil rights".
• Muslims, or probable Muslims.
• Anyone buying fertilizer (Report EVERYONE, feed store owners!)
• People who stand during the National Anthem at a sporting event, but don't sing along.
• Any nervous, shy individual.
• Anyone who drops anything, even if it's something as simple as a penny. It might be a bomb.

Keep your eyes out and remain vigilant! We can win this war against terrorism!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

That's a mighty fine list, Rev. Jim! A combination of vigilance and well-placed distrust of those people will get us through this trying time.

I have noticed a couple of neighbors who are not flying multiple American flags: that might be something to keep an eye on, too.



YiC,

Zech

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

A most important list, Rev. Jim. Thank you.

When in downtown Des Moines, I've noticed some brown-skinned women who wear skirts down to their ankles. This seems like an opportunity to hide explosives.

Another item to consider possibly.

JJH

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I could not agree more Jim!

Other things we should report immediately:

• People who are not driving a car. E.g. walking, or even worse riding a bicycle. Only terrorist gays ride a bicycle.
• Anyone who isn't as white and Caucasian as Jesus (Revelation 1:14).
• Everyone who doesn't hunt.
• Everyone with a gun.
• Everyone who eats vegetables.
• Women without a man to guide them.
• Children.
• And most importantly, terrorists who pretend they are from the IRS.

Only terrorist gays ride a bicycle:

[Leadbelly]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

After reading these precautions, I already noticed several suspicious mooslems standing outside

-Do you think they would attack before the 11th?
Should I attack them first??

[Deaner]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

After reading these precautions, I already noticed several suspicious mooslems standing outside

-Do you think they would attack before the 11th?
Should I attack them first??

Yes.

[Isaac Fisher]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

My wife, God bless , is a nervous wreak right now. Janet thinks she, me or the kids are going to be blown up soon; I've had to shake some sense into her and remind her we don't live in a big city anymore.

I'm still on look out though. I'm ready to mourn at a moments notice. I think me and the wife are really messing up the kids; they're scared stiff of all the talk of bombs and terror on TV.

[BallEater]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I've been checking people's bibles lately to make sure they aren't hollowed out to conceal a quran.

Nothing but a few bags of weed so far (whew!), but better safe than sorry.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I've been checking people's bibles lately to make sure they aren't hollowed out to conceal a quran.

Nothing but a few bags of weed so far (whew!), but better safe than sorry.

Hello Ball Server!

Please go over to the Introduction forum and tell us all about yourself: we want to get to know you!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

Our threat in the UK is slightly different. Your average muslim over here straps a rucksack full of explosives on his back and gets on public transport. I have written a letter to my member of parliament with a suggestion. At airports we now see facial recognition technology. A much simpler device could be used on the transport system. Just a gate with a skin colour reader.

If you are white you simply walk through.

If you are very black you walk through (almost all of the menial staff and toilet attendants are black so we need them)

If you have dirty coloured brown skin then the gate closes and alarms go off.
A quick interrogation and a cavity search and then they are free to pass through. Everybody should be happy with this system. Anybody who complains obviously has something to hide.

I have not had a response from my MP yet but I will keep you updated.

YIC

Jack

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I've been checking people's bibles lately to make sure they aren't hollowed out to conceal a quran.

Nothing but a few bags of weed so far (whew!), but better safe than sorry.

Better be Saved(c) than burning in hell for all eternity.

[Bible Student]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

My wife, God bless , is a nervous wreak right now. Janet thinks she, me or the kids are going to be blown up soon; I've had to shake some sense into her and remind her we don't live in a big city anymore.

I'm still on look out though. I'm ready to mourn at a moments notice. I think me and the wife are really messing up the kids; they're scared stiff of all the talk of bombs and terror on TV.

Having recently read a book about a family of Palestinian terrorists who beat their daughter to death for being a real American, I can tell you that statistics show most of them live outside of major cities, not in them. They live 18 people to a 700 square foot home (double that if the house is larger) and own convenience stores, gas stations, mom and pop motels, or T-shirt stores all of which deal in lots of cash. If you have any such aforementioned businesses near you, be proactive and burn them to the ground.

And be vigilant.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I’m as well highly suspicious about:

• Tree-huggers; for whom shall we “preserve” the nature? What have “future generations” ever done for us? That’s a distraction from the clear and present danger.
• Veggies; what a great excuse to reject pork – that in turn means they’re likely mooslins.
• Non-American speaking people; how could we know what they’re talking about?

IMHO, it would be time for another preemptive strike; what the hell is the kenyan imposter waiting for? Bananas?

Godspeed

Dan

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: If you see something, SAY SOMETHING!

I had my wife and three sons toe the line this morning at 5 AM. They had all night to conduct a deep clean and dress right dress their possessions. Everything was broken down into components and dusted. Weapons were cleaned and oiled.

The boys did their rooms and Cindy Lou did the rest of the house. I confirmed that the pantry contained no poisons, and there were no bombs or bomb making materials anywhere in the house. No AK-47s. Just True Christian firearms like 9 mm pistols and M-16s.