By some sorcery of PR, the Catholic Church has convinced a surprising number of people that Francis is a benign, if not a bit lovable mascot for the pagan crime syndicate known as the Vatican. Liberals hang on his every word, conservatives love his no holds barred attack against Big Sodomy, and he's got professionals making sure his flatulence is as flowery as any French perfume so when he walks in the crowds, photographers can capture the people's smile with stars in their eyes.

Still, every few generations the Vatican comes out with some back peddling in hopes to slow down the rampant exodus from their numbers. Like rats leaving a sinking ship, Catholics are losing the fight against relevancy in the modern world. In 1964 they released the Jews from the culpability of killing Christ. In 1992 they apologized to Galileo. It's always something to appease the loudest protesters.

Of course no one but the brainwashed Catholics buy it. Lately, the Jews have decided to fight back. The newly re-established Sanhedrin [ancient Jewish High Court composed of 71 sages] will officially take the Pope to court. If he refuses to come to the trial, they will try him in absentia.

They'll need whatever rewards they can get to pay off the Muslims who are suing Israel over the Ten Plagues.