X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 11
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 11 template Next
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    Tips for Cranky Babies

    Greetings Brothers and Sisters

    I've noticed we don't have very many threads about cranky babies so I decided to start one and offer my own advice.

    TIP

    When your baby is crying in church, the best way to shut them up is to drag them out of the Church like so:

    I know I used to do it with my own little Tater and believe you me, he knew when to shut his yap after that.

    Please post your tips here!

    Lve, Sister Thumper
    Attached Files
    Last edited by Daisy Mae Johnson; 05-18-2008, 04:14 AM.
    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
    Tags: spanking for good discipline
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78553
      #2
      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

      I always thought that you're just supposed to slap the hell out of them when they cry.

      That's what my parents did, and I came out just fine.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Pastor Billy-Reuben
          Senior Pastor
          VP of Evangelical Outreach
          On FIRE for Jesus
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 5812
          #3
          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
          I've noticed we don't have very many threads about cranky babies so I decided to start one and offer my own advice.
          You have to break them, like any wild thing. One good way is to put the baby's face under running water. It'll fight and cry, but you have to be strong and keep at it. It might take a few hours, but eventually the baby will be too exhausted to fight and cry any more.

          Pastor Billy-Reuben
          Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

          ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
          Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
          #ChristianLivesMatter

          sigpic

            Comment

            • Glendora Christianson
              Spiritual Mother of LBC
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 2329
              #4
              Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

              We had a gal who was afraid to administer corporal punishment to her "preemie" baby. Until I had a bright idea: Use a fly swatter! That way you don't have to worry about problems with our secular government taking your baby away and giving it to a lexbean couple.
              Attached Files
              Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                Comment

                • Chezund Rice
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Mar 2007
                  • 79
                  #5
                  Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                  Don't know what to do about girls, but I have yet to see a boy that didn't shut up with a breast in his mouth.
                  It's get'in volunteers that's the problem.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78553
                      #6
                      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                      Originally posted by Chezund Rice View Post
                      Don't know what to do about girls, but I have yet to see a boy that didn't shut up with a breast in his mouth.
                      It's get'in volunteers that's the problem.
                      Friend, our church teaches that breastfeeding is a gateway sin, promoting incest and homersexuralism all in one fell swoop. You might want to take a look at THIS, and re-think your thoughts.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Chezund Rice
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Mar 2007
                          • 79
                          #7
                          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          Friend, our church teaches that breastfeeding is a gateway sin, promoting incest and homersexuralism all in one fell swoop. You might want to take a look at THIS, and re-think your thoughts.
                          Thank you Pastor! That surely opened my eyes.
                          "Our study also concludes that breastfeeding leads to sloppy kissing, drooling, teat fetishes, and cattle buggery."
                          Sure explains alot about these here small Nebraska towns. My only experience being in a Methodist church and all, sure explains alot about them folks too.
                          Thanks for your guidance.

                          Maybe the next time the wife takes me to church, I should bring along some duct tape. The simple ideas are usually the best.

                            Comment

                            • Hitoshi
                              Professor of Engrish
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 446
                              #8
                              Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                              here is cranky baby I am alway have problem with



                              he make quite a fuss but if I am give him his wubby (stuff animal bunny rabbit) and warm milk from baba (bottle) he most of time is fall right asleep.

                                Comment

                                • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                  The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                  Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                  aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 15708
                                  #9
                                  Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                  Let's not forget Baby Cage. Keep them out of harms way and out of your hair.

                                  http://www.babycage.net/index.php


                                  P/S: These things are wonderful! I also use them to keep my feeble, elderly Grammy in so she doesn't wander around the house wetting herself and breaking things.
                                  Attached Files
                                  sigpic

                                  Tweet me Here
                                  My GODLY Bio Here

                                    Comment

                                    • SUV
                                      True Christian™ Princess
                                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                                      Have at it, anytime!
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 11027
                                      #10
                                      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                      It was a sad day for Mothers when paregoric, a nice "tincture of opium" fell out of favor

                                      However, not only has it produced the drug-addled "Children" of the un$avED world today, but drug use is SIN.

                                      Except for a few Certain, select Christian personages:

                                        Comment

                                        • Old Man Hatchet
                                          Super Moderator
                                          Beloved Church Elder
                                          World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 2084
                                          #11
                                          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                                          That's a waste of space. You could easily fit five kids in there, which is the minimum number of children a True Christian™ woman should have. Also when you have two or more they typically start fighting, and then you have a cage match, which is extremely entertaining.

                                            Comment

                                            • Marshall
                                              Righteous and Patriotic
                                              Highest body count at the VFW
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Oct 2006
                                              • 3322
                                              #12
                                              Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                              You filthy dink sinner!
                                              You have no reason to post in this area because gays can't reproduce and will never know the joy of beating Jesus into thier own children!

                                              You need to get more Jesus and less fish heads inside you.
                                              God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

                                                Comment

                                                • Hitoshi
                                                  Professor of Engrish
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 446
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                                  Originally posted by Marshall View Post
                                                  You filthy dink sinner!
                                                  You have no reason to post in this area because gays can't reproduce and will never know the joy of beating Jesus into thier own children!

                                                  You need to get more Jesus and less fish heads inside you.
                                                  shhhhh

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Curious Agnostic
                                                      Unsaved trash
                                                       
                                                      • Apr 2008
                                                      • 47
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                      I always thought that you're just supposed to slap the hell out of them when they cry.

                                                      That's what my parents did, and I came out just fine.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Nobar King
                                                          Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                                          Christ's Guardian
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Sep 2007
                                                          • 23748
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

                                                          You can always try the anti cranky baby cap:
                                                          May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                                            Comment

                                                            Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 11 template Next
                                                            Working...