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At the Landover July 4th celebration yesterday I noticed there was some confusion about appropriate attire. We all like to see everyone dressed up nicely for the occasion but there is something of a fine line between looking smart and looking a bit h*mo. I've constructed a brief guide to prospective attendees to help avoid marching in the wrong parade.
1. First one is easy to get us up to speed. They look like decent, well-dressed males quietly enjoying eachother's company, but the hand-holding is a giveaway. Gay.
2. Here is another example - at first glance nice looking boys wrestling... or is it hand-holding? Further inspection reveals a bulldyke on the left, a ginger haired lesbian on the right and some type of suffocation/ballgag/fantasy cosplay going on. Gay.
3. The next one is trickier. This gentleman is well dressed and manicured so you might imagine he is a prominent business conservative or intellectual. Or he could be a cissy. In this case the "tell" is his Euro-weenie name - most Americans don't realize that 90+% of European men are gay.
4. Next up is another easy one, a group of marching flight attendants. Obviously incredibly gay - especially the one on the right.
5. Last up is our friends the bikers. They certainly have a "colorful" wardrobe (if you don't mind black leather and crotchless chaps) leaving them at risk of miscategorization. However, these boys are straight as a bosun's whistle. That's just how men are when the feminazi oppression is lifted.
I hope this short tutorial helps Church members make appropriate clothing choices next year to avoid potentially embarrassing mix-ups that sometimes occur with Republican senators. Of course, this just scratches the surface and everyone is encouraged to do their own research, under supervision of a male in the case of children and women.
1. First one is easy to get us up to speed. They look like decent, well-dressed males quietly enjoying eachother's company, but the hand-holding is a giveaway. Gay.
2. Here is another example - at first glance nice looking boys wrestling... or is it hand-holding? Further inspection reveals a bulldyke on the left, a ginger haired lesbian on the right and some type of suffocation/ballgag/fantasy cosplay going on. Gay.
3. The next one is trickier. This gentleman is well dressed and manicured so you might imagine he is a prominent business conservative or intellectual. Or he could be a cissy. In this case the "tell" is his Euro-weenie name - most Americans don't realize that 90+% of European men are gay.
4. Next up is another easy one, a group of marching flight attendants. Obviously incredibly gay - especially the one on the right.
5. Last up is our friends the bikers. They certainly have a "colorful" wardrobe (if you don't mind black leather and crotchless chaps) leaving them at risk of miscategorization. However, these boys are straight as a bosun's whistle. That's just how men are when the feminazi oppression is lifted.
I hope this short tutorial helps Church members make appropriate clothing choices next year to avoid potentially embarrassing mix-ups that sometimes occur with Republican senators. Of course, this just scratches the surface and everyone is encouraged to do their own research, under supervision of a male in the case of children and women.
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