[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

Bella! My cupcake! Ho! Wonderful to see you. Still strugglin' with the Beast, are you! Anyways, porcelain, you mentioned! Of course! Here's a nice light switch of the best German porcelain to be installed in your boudoir!



Oh Ho!

[Emily Brent]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Nope. Learn to read. Her's a book for your caretaker.




Ho

Oh dear now, I missed that block entirely. I misplaced my spectacles again and had been too busy bodying to pay mind to wingy Isobellas insinuating to attach a loo chain to my spectacles.


That's very well, my offer Santa still stainds, you dont have to give child.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

I am not comfortable with the newspaper. It praises Trump, which is good. And, of course, I am sure that it is True News™. But it sends the wrong message about certain behavior that decent True Christian ™ women don't discuss--ever.

There must be some other information about our Dear President that you can share with the world that he is too modest to tell us about.

Of course, darling child! I'll distribute another piece of news also. Here it is (and that's enough of this, I am not your postal office, I deliver what people deserve, not necessarily what they want):



Socks? OK: here's a make-it-yourself starter kit for you!



You-ho!

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.

Actually this is what Christians believe. Santa Claus is an americanization of Saint Nicholas that they stole from the Dutch with the only purpose of selling some bottle of Coca Cola.


Of course, if someone were to ask me if Santa exists, i would answer them that since Saint Nicholas exists, Santa is real too.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Oh, my goodness, Miss Brent! Since you are a guest on , don't you think that your discourse should be centered around the topic of the glorious birth of our , , rather than flirting with a demon-possessed agent of who pedals his false message and pretends to be interested in the welfare of our children? Seeing as we are so close to mas, one would think that the importance of December 25th would be a suitable clue for you.

And, I do sincerely hope that that egg"nob" was not spiked with demonic rum!

Proverbs 20:1 "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."


Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

Sister Isabella,

After careful consideration I have come to a decision to gift someone I look up to as my role model for Christmas this year. You. After tithing part of my allowance extra this Christmas to my church and buying gifts for my Pa and extended family, I see that I have about some money left. I found a “knitting girl” hummel at the goodwill while doing Christmas shopping. Knowing that you collect such delicate porcelain figures and knowing you would take care of them, I am going back to pick it up for you. I believe buying you such an object would be the best use of my money. God knows those Salvation Army freaks will just feed the homeless people’s drug problems.

[Isabella White]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Sister Isabella,

After careful consideration I have come to a decision to gift someone I look up to as my role model for Christmas this year. You. After tithing part of my allowance extra this Christmas to my church and buying gifts for my Pa and extended family, I see that I have about some money left. I found a “knitting girl” hummel at the goodwill while doing Christmas shopping. Knowing that you collect such delicate porcelain figures and knowing you would take care of them, I am going back to pick it up for you. I believe buying you such an object would be the best use of my money. God knows those Salvation Army freaks will just feed the homeless people’s drug problems.

Oh, dear Sister Maxine, this is so kind of you -- goodness! I hope you won't mind my saying, though, but I don't feel that I'm at all deserving of such an honor as this lovely Hummel figurine. And, it's not like I need another dust collector, but I do thank you for the very kind thought. Might I suggest that you, instead, dedicate any unused allowance funds toward the jet plane fund for Pastor Zeke? Or, if you've already purchased the item, it might be donated to your local Baptist church's rummage sale.

Thanks again very much, Dear, and I wish you the best for a Merry mas.


Sincerely, Isabella W.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Sister Isabella,

I have tried to find ways to donate to Pastor Zeke’s jet fund with my allowance wherever I can. It pains me to say that since I don’t live or work in Freehold, I am unable to donate my money. The only way to have had it work out was when I watched Pastor Deacon Fred’s videos. I took one of my father’s checks as his website instructed and made it out to C.A.S.H. I didn’t even ask what that acronym stood for but I was excited. Unfortunately my Pa doesn’t allow me access to his checkbook anymore after that day.

[handmaiden]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*

Duh! The painting is showing the "real" Santa kneeling before a Nativity scene set up on someone's lawn. That is why Santa is larger than the other figures that are actually statues flirting with idolatry.


That is why there is snow on the ground and a relatively modern Western Civilization style house.


The real problem with the picture is that it is telling confused, "wannabe" Christians that it is possible to marry the Santa mythology with the Truth(tm) of the Biblical narrative about Jesus' birth.*


Since Santa is presented as kneeling reverently before the Baby Jesus, uninformed people will take that as leave to believe in Santa and the Bible. Well, you can't have both, folks.

It's either Jesus, and the miracle of His birth followed by His Ministry of Salvation and His Sacrificial Death and Resurrection-- or a fat, bearded toy-maker whose only punishment for evil is that he leaves lumps of coal rather than send naughty children to Hell.


* And we know how God feels about mixed marriages!


Deuteronomy 7:3-4


Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Actually this is what Christians believe. Santa Claus is an americanization of Saint Nicholas that they stole from the Dutch with the only purpose of selling some bottle of Coca Cola.


Of course, if someone were to ask me if Santa exists, i would answer them that since Saint Nicholas exists, Santa is real too.

Ho ho Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name?

It is of course nice, my child, that you have Faith® in me, but, as said, faith is overrated and, anyway, it is a very poor method to discern Truth from disinformation. That said, you're a nice boy, aren't you? You used to be so obedient when you where a mere altar boy. Remember the Ointment that I used to deliver to you each and every Christmas? Just in case, I'll make a special extra de-luxe delivery just for you also this year! Now with lidocaine!




Use it wisely! But not too little.

Ho ho ho!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

It pains me to say that since I don’t live or work in Freehold, I am unable to donate my money,

Maxxie Babee! What pains you may be a relief for the large majority of mankind! But in your cute naïveté you are of course quite nice and not too naughty. I know you wish that you were naughtier especially with regards to the lingerie department, but there just isn't an extra-super-large size of unmentionables that would fit you and it is too late for the elves to start knitting (we'll see again next year). So here's something to relieve your pain. It is HOT and will give you a taste of what Jesus will do to you if you don't accept him in the manner that the majority of the people on this website (erroneously) demand. Howdy ho.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

I don't feel that I'm at all deserving of such an honor as this lovely Hummel figurine.

Of course you're not, Bella baby! But I know of Hummel. I am quite happy to deliver you a Hummel cable gland to replace your own withering glands.



Please try to keep the fire out for Christmas night this year or your order for Ben Wa balls will also be out. The flames will obviously not harm me but the Missus hates the dry cleaning costs come New Year...


Ho anyways.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

I absolutely agree with you, Sister. We never, ever discuss it! Not even in private, among close friends, or with our mothers or daughters. Why would any woman need to do such a thing?

I also agree about the socks. Obviously I have no need for the eyeglasses.

Joanna Sweet Lass! You must think that I forgot all about you! I didn't! I have, in fact, two wonderful items for you. Exceptionally, neither one of them is in plastic! First, some traditional English Christmas food that you all love and cherish! At least it does taste like plastic.



Second, as you love and cherish your royalty, I bring you the UK race of Queens in DVD! I know that your boys are eager followers and fans!



Please have 'em stockings ready for my visit!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

uninformed people will take that as leave to believe in Santa and the Bible. Well, you can't have both, folks... leaves lumps of coal rather than send naughty children to Hell.

Dandy-Handy! Why are you always so irritable come Christmas? To answer your musings: I never ever said that anyone would have to believe in me and in Jesus. On the contrary, I've said repeatedly that I don't require Faith, just niceties. Normal. Proper. Human. Behavior. Towards. Your. Fellow. Human. Being. Less "love", less Faith. Is that too much to ask?

This year, our top priority is to activate people to do things by themselves. Therefore, you'll have a make-coal-by-yourself starter kit, that is, a coal-miners outfit that will enable you to frequent all Welsh and German coal mines, among others. The man in the image is unfortunately not included in the package as I don't deliver people.