A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

[Uncle Rutherford]

He was talking about how he is trying to immigrate to the United States and in order to get his wealth over safely, he wants me to help him out. He offered me 20,000 as a cut for helping him out.

I was absolutely disgusted that he ASSUMED I would help him. I kindly reminded him of Romans 13:1-2 and that I would not help him sneak into America illegally. He then proceeded to email me telling me that he would give a substantial donation to the church I attend.


I am conflicted about this. On the one hand, helping him would bring in a substantial donation to Pastor Zeke’s jet fund. On the other hand, helping him would make me an accomplice to a criminal illegal immigant Nigra and make Jesus upset. On the OTHER OTHER hand, Jesus does want Pastor Zeke to have that shiny new jet to spread the good gospel of The King James Bible. On the OTHER OTHER OTHER hand, should I really believe that a wealthy nigra other than Creflo Dollar actually exists? So much to mull over tonight with this big decision on what to do. Any good men want to get on their knees with me tonight to pray for an answer?

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Brother Uncle, they don't have electricity over in Africa. This is one of the reasons why the call it the dark continent. And, incidentally, [CENSORED]ia calls itself a republic, in emulation of "de waht mayn's" sophisticated political structures, so if there are any [CENSORED]ian princes, they aren't the official kind like that inbred horse-faced goober in England.

The major red flag is that you don't seem to know this guy. I thought all you guys knew each other. If you don't, and he has Internet capabilities and is literate enough to compose an email, I doubt he's a spook or that he hails from the nation of [CENSORED]ia. Most likely he's an Asian con artist. My advice would be to keep your money and donate it to the truly deserving, like Pastor Ezekiel.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Brother Uncle, they don't have electricity over in Africa. This is one of the reasons why the call it the dark continent. And, incidentally, [CENSORED]ia calls itself a republic, in emulation of "de waht mayn's" sophisticated political structures, so if there are any [CENSORED]ian princes, they aren't the official kind like that inbred horse-faced goober in England.

The major red flag is that you don't seem to know this guy. I thought all you guys knew each other. If you don't, and he has Internet capabilities and is literate enough to compose an email, I doubt he's a spook or that he hails from the nation of [CENSORED]ia. Most likely he's an Asian con artist. My advice would be to keep your money and donate it to the truly deserving, like Pastor Ezekiel.

While everything you say is true, I simply assumed that the young godless Nigra heard the good word of Landover Baptist Church’s Ex-Nigra outreach program ™️ as well as Freehold’s Nigra Rehabilitation Facility. I had assumed that word of my graduation had simply reached someone in Nigeria and that’s why they contacted me with hope to come to America. Alas, when I read what you have written, it’s apparent to me that an explanation from someone who’s a smart white True Christian™️ does indeed make more sense. I have to say, I am disappointed, but I believe I may have dodged a bullet thanks to you.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Have you asked whether he's a Christian?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Brother Rutherford, I have had opportunities also to partner with Nigerians in business deals. Apparently, there is a lot of wealth over there.

I have always followed the advice of others here and asked callers to recite specific scriptures. For some reason these wealthy people are not True Christians™. I have even offered to have Pastor Zeke save the souls of these sinful people on one of his fund raising trips to Nigeria. I've had no takers so far.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Brother Rutherford, I have had opportunities also to partner with Nigerians in business deals. Apparently, there is a lot of wealth over there.

I have always followed the advice of others here and asked callers to recite specific scriptures. For some reason these wealthy people are not True Christians™. I have even offered to have Pastor Zeke save the souls of these sinful people on one of his fund raising trips to Nigeria. I've had no takers so far.

<sigh> I decided to test him on his scripture and he came back with quotes from the New English Translation Bible, the vastly inferior version for lieberals. I am deeply saddened as I figured I would have an opportunity to save a nigra in Africa while also helping Pastor Zeke with his jet fund. It does me no joy to have almost been fooled by a good-for-nothin.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

Brother Rutherford, I don't expect you to know this - why would anyone? - but the last monarch of Nigeria was QE2 - not the liner (which I think sank?) but Queen Elizabeth of England and various other places. She was fired from the Nigerian job back in 1963.

This means that all Nigerian princes must be her descendants. Did the fellow sign his name? This looks like a giveaway:

He was talking about how he is trying to immigrate to the United States and in order to get his wealth over safely, he wants me to help him out. He offered me 20,000 as a cut for helping him out.

To the best of my knowledge, only the one whose name begins with an H is attempting to obtain permanent residence in the United States. In that case, it is definitely a scam as he claims elsewhere to have no money. You have done well to see through his less-than-cunning ploy.

[Des]

Re: A Nigerian Prince emailed me today….

I understand your mixed feelings, Rufusford. I have mixed feelings about Nigerians too. On one hand, Nigeria provided us with plentiful labor what with their selling us slaves and all. Lord knows we could not have managed it on our own what with malaria and scurvey and all. But on the other hand, it is thanks to Nigeria we have so many lazy, looting, rioting pie thieves around.