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  • #16
    Re: Obi-Wank Kenobi - Just Another Disney Series Mocking God or a Slight Improvement?

    I just watched and prayed over Episode 4, "A New Hope" of the unbearable Obi-Wank Saga. A promising title for the episode and, indeed, at first things are going very well. The Obi-Wank heretic is almost dead but the evil forces of a "Baccarat tank" or something resurrect him and he goes on a rampage.



    The Christian Empire has meanwhile rescued the uppity girl called Leia Al-Deran (an Arabic name? A former Muslim? No-one knows) and are trying to turn her to the side of Law and Order. With some well-timed corporeal punishment (Proverbs 29:15) but unfortunately the Obi-Wank heretic and a treacherous woman (Ecclesiastes 7:26) intervene and kidnap her again, use conjuring and witchcraft (Deuteronomy 18:10) to drown many of Jesus's Soldiers. Even the hero, Mr. Vader comes to rescue too late and the criminals escape. Meanwhile, I also searched for some background information about this Star Struck Universe, and was able to unravel an interesting piece of information. Mr. Vader is not only a faithful follower of God and President Trump: HE IS ALSO A RECOVERING HOMERSEXUAL GAY SODOMITE! Glory! His former name was Analkin Skywanker - a clear indication that the Jedi are an organization, whose main aim is to seduce young Caucasian youth into anal sodomy.

    Revelation 2:5
    Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.


    Verily, Jesus loves Mr. Vader as a Repenting™ sinner and will come unto him quickly. Meanwhile, it seems that the story will go on and on... I'll be updating the situation irregularly. The next Episode is called "The Empire Strikes on the Back" and I am expecting cameos by Jesus, Pastor Zeke and President Trump any episode now!



    PS: A nice detail that gives me NEW HOPE. Based on the confusing image above, there is apparently open carry in the Empire!
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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    • #17
      Re: Obi-Wank Kenobi - Just Another Disney Series Mocking God or a Slight Improvement?

      I haven't seen this filth myself, but I heard that the Jedi Council were almost all men, that they didn't let the Jedi marry women, and that they gave the Jedi unfettered access to young boys. They are basically NAMBLA or Hilary Clinton's pizza parlor. But, to be fair, there is some good stuff in the movies, too. For example, doesn't the hero, Darth Vader, massacre a bunch of sand people, including the women and the children? There couldn't be a better metaphor for how we need to take the Muslims out before they do the same to us, just like God ordered the genocide of various other troublesome Middle Eastern peoples:

      But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee. Deuteronomy 20:16-17

      It's a good thing thing He did that, too, otherwise we'd be dealing with Hittite and Perizzite terrorism today.
      The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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      • #18
        Re: Obi-Wank Kenobi - Just Another Disney Series Mocking God or a Slight Improvement?

        This is getting tedious. I just watched Episode 5 "The Empire Strikes Back" despite powerful urges to discard this show and send the time more profitably in Fervent Prayer. However, the Obi-Wank saga goes on and on and on in circles of betrayal and escape. The villainous Jedi Obi-Wank hides in some kind of an Islamic colony but the cunning police force has tracked him there and they attack the criminals and infidels.



        This episode is all about the cowardice of the Force-worshipers and the brave attempts of the Imperial Police to take them into custody. It would all work out fine, but the Hamite policewoman turns out to be a double agent who betrays (expectedly) Jesus and stalls the bust. Ergo, once again the criminals flee. Mr. Vader is once again betrayed, he arrives at the scene too late but still has time to punish the Hamite female.



        Now, there are some issues that make the Jedi especially disgusting.
        1. Wardrobe: They never ever wear decent suits or ties.
        2. Grooming: It is clear that Catlick depictions of Jesus are false and He must have kept His beard well-shaven and used a smart jacket wherever He went. Compare this to the nasty Jedi outfit (those who cherish clean suits may be triggered).


        So the story will probably go on. The end of this episode suggested that in addition to treachery and disregard for higher powers (Romans 13:1), the Obi-Wank person has seemingly unnatural interest in children. While the Leia person is of marriageable age, the Episode ends in a scene where an approximately 10-year-old boy sleeps in bed. Obi-Wank's next victim, perhaps?

        Luke 17:2
        It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.


        Why the Luke verse? Because THIS LITTLE BOY IS CALLED LUKE! This obviously means that the Obi-Wank heretic is directly opposing the BIBLE when he goes on to seduce this boy in the next episode, "The Return of the Jedi".



        Will I keep watching?
        Obviously, as I need to gather enough data to write Sarah Palin about this and then she can ban this show.


        Yours in Christ,

        Elmer
        2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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        • #19
          Re: Obi-Wank Kenobi - Just Another Disney Series Mocking God or a Slight Improvement?

          It's all just a bunch of SJW commie propaganda. Clearly the character Bail Orgasma, a Democrat Senator, intends to introduce lightsaber control legislation after Darth Vader heroically slaughters the Jedi insurgents-in-training with his laser sword. The black negress, Third Sistah, survived the massacre by hiding under the corpses of her classmates in a clear and obvious parallel with the Uvalde school shooting (did the Jews have advance warning of that brown-on-brown immigrant rampage, like they did with 9/11?) Third Sistah, who was only able to get the job of Grand Inquisitor by killing the position's white male occupant and stealing his place (equal opportunity employment) is herself cut down while resisting arrest by law enforcement (Mr. Vader), blatantly setting up a Black Lives Matter protest in the finale episode. Considering what flies in Walt Disney Studios, Jew-controlled Hollywood, and the Biden administration, don't be surprised by the explicit, unsimulated child porn scene between Leia and Luke.
          I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
          Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
          But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
          From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

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          • #20
            Re: Obi-Wank Kenobi - Just Another Disney Series Mocking God or a Slight Improvement?

            Having just watched the dreadful plot of the apparently final episode of the Obi-Wank Saga I am now ready to give the Christian Audience my recap and verdict. Unfortunately - but I must admit in a realistic manner - on Earth good does not always reign over evil - and that is what also took place in the Obi-Wank story, as follows:

            The plot of the final episode is complicated and involves lots of different points of view. Anyway, the Hamite uppity woman is once again on the side of Law and Order and tries to kill a disobedient child (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) called Luke (I've mentioned this before and it is still disgusting to name a false Force-God worshiping child with the name of an Evangelist) as she should. Meanwhile, the Obi-Wank once again attacks the police chief Mr. Vader but shows his cowardice by not killing him. Instead, Mr. Vader is wounded and fortunately survives to assist Jesus in decimating the false demon worshiping Jedi. I surmise and this series will get Season 2 and Mr. Vader will eventually kill Obi-Wank.



            Meanwhile, the uppity half child goes home and dresses in men's clothing. She will probably also perish but end up in Hellfire because of these sinful misdemeanors.



            Deuteronomy 22:5
            The
            woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.


            Then, in the final scenes we finally see what this series finale is all about - seducing kiddies into false religions and fornication. Obi-Wank meets the manchild Luke and the gleam in his eyes reveals that it is Anal sodomy that the Jedi are seeking. The dialogue quite efficiently captures the unnatural lust that Obi-Wank is harboring within his corrupted soul.



            "Hello, there!" Obi-Wank says with a sweet low masculine voice, with just the alluring overtones that Catlick false Priests use to gain the trust of their altar boys. His bisexual (just look at his name, for God's sake!) tendencies are giving way to male-on-male sodomistic urges. I would not be surprised if this demonchild grew up to worship the Jedi and the "Force", as well. Remains to be seen, as any further developments of this story remain in obscurity.

            A nice touch, though: In the final scene Jesus also appears and it is possible that He will guide Obi-Wank to the narrow lane of Redemption® in case he has not blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (Matthew 12:31) yet.



            My verdict:
            • Will I keep watching? I dunno... It is possible that this was the end of the series but who can tell? I am not very interested in seeing the love scenes between Obi-Wank and the "Luke" boy but if necessary, I will assess any future episodes to keep y'all safe!
            • The Good Guys DID survive and it is possible that Jesus helped Mr. Vader recover from the dreadful wounds.
            • The are many Biblical allusions (Luke, etc.) but the Bible is much nicer and more clear in its condemnation of any false believers.
            • From the purely technical viewpoint of cinematography, special miniature effects and plot tension I liked the show more than I would have wanted to. I'll have to Pray on this.
            • My grade: C-. Had Mr. Vader defeated Obi-Wank for good, I'd have considered C+.

            Yours in Christ,

            Elmer
            2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



            PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
            Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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