Mayan 2012 Prophecies

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

When I first started people talk about how the Mayan calendar ends on 12-21-12, and were talking about Mayan doomsday prophecies, I thought to myself, here we go again. Here comes the latest installment of new-age mumbo-jumbo.

However, I kept hearing more and more about it, and I was alarmed at some of the things I heard, so I looked into it a bit. I found out that the Mayans weren't the only ones who predicted cataclysmic events for 2012. So did the Hopi Indians, so did Nostradamus, so did Merlin, so did the Upanishads, so did the I Ching, all predicting something happening in 2012.

Now I don't put any stock in predictions from such dubious sources, but the fact that those so-called prophecies all exist lead me to think that maybe there's a reason for it. It can't all be coincidence. I think Satan is planning something big, and he's using 2012 mania as a cover for it.

What do you think?

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

When I first started people talk about how the Mayan calendar ends on 12-21-12, and were talking about Mayan doomsday prophecies, I thought to myself, here we go again. Here comes the latest installment of new-age mumbo-jumbo.

However, I kept hearing more and more about it, and I was alarmed at some of the things I heard, so I looked into it a bit. I found out that the Mayans weren't the only ones who predicted cataclysmic events for 2012. So did the Hopi Indians, so did Nostradamus, so did Merlin, so did the Upanishads, so did the I Ching, all predicting something happening in 2012.

Now I don't put any stock in predictions from such dubious sources, but the fact that those so-called prophecies all exist lead me to think that maybe there's a reason for it. It can't all be coincidence. I think Satan is planning something big, and he's using 2012 mania as a cover for it.

What do you think?

Pastor Billy-Reuben

The London Olympics!
Surely a portent of DOOM!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I can't find any mention of it in the world's most important book.

[JennyD]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

Pastor -

Maybe references to these predictions would help us understand your concerns.

By the way, I thought Merlin was a fictional character. Did you mean Rasputin?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

Since 1974 I have been preaching to everyone that Spaceship Jesus will land on December 21, 2012.The Mayans foresaw his arrival through the use of mind-altering chemicals thousands of years ago, so they made it so the calendar would run out exactly when Spaceship Jesus arrives. (For what would be the point of a calendar once the world ends?)

We can plainly see that certain events are lining up for an apocalypse. London Olympics, Election (or re-election) of the US President, the "One World Trade Center" tower is being erected that year, etc.

When Spaceship Jesus lands, there will be The War to End All Wars. Imagine global catastrophe and chaos the likes that no human being has ever witnessed!

Soviet MiG fighters will take to the skies and drop bombs over America. Homosexuals will grab AK-47s and start gunning people down in psychotic frenzies. Animals and Robots will join forces and CYBORG ANIMALS WILL HUNT YOU DOWN. Sharks will be able to fly through the air and flying sharks will attack people living in coastal cities. Electronics and Machines will turn on their masters: Automobiles will drive themselves and try to chalk up as much human car-nage as possible. Imposters and clones will take up sniping positions in high-populated areas and pick people off one by one.

Only a small force of HOLY ARMY led by Hulk Hogan, Mr. T., and Bruce Lee will fight against this Tide of Villainy and help THE SAVED to the Landing Crafts. The Landing Crafts will fly out of the mothership SPACESHIP JESUS and land all over the world. Only those that have given their lives to Spaceship Jesus and follow the commandments of Mad Prophet Helmholtz will be allowed access to these craft, which will then rescue them from the earthly armageddon and take them up to the paradise which is SPACESHIP JESUS.

SPACESHIP JESUS IS COMING 12/21/2012. MARK MY WORDS. It is now or never to convert!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I can't find any mention of it in the world's most important book.

There is no mention in your book of Noodles but they still exist.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I can't find any mention of it in the world's most important book.

Me neither. I don't put any stock in what any of those "prophecies" say, but what got my attention is the fact that there are so many of them from different sources all saying the same thing. It leads me to think that Satan is planning something.

Maybe references to these predictions would help us understand your concerns.

I didn't bookmark any of the pages, but I can find them again by googling 2012 along with any of Mayan, Merlin, Hopi, Nostradamus, Upanishads, or I-Ching.

By the way, I thought Merlin was a fictional character. Did you mean Rasputin?

No, I meant the historical Merlin, also known as Merlinus Caledonensis in Latin or Myrddin Wyllt in Welsh, not the fireball blasting wizard from the King Arthur legends.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[David Goldman]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I wonder if it will be one of these self-fulfilling prophesies.

It probably can't be the rapture due to Matthew 24:36

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

But anyone with an agenda might think it clever to stir something up on that day. It is also interesting that it is between the next US Presidential election and the electoral college official certification. If the current "acting" president were to lose the next election to a Godly man (like say Brother Huckabee), that would be an ideal time to disrupt things in an attempt to cling to power.

Indeed it makes one wonder . . .

[JennyD]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

No, I meant the historical Merlin, also known as Merlinus Caledonensis in Latin or Myrddin Wyllt in Welsh, not the fireball blasting wizard from the King Arthur legends.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

Oh! Thank you, Pastor. Not this guy:

[Nobar King]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I'm not taking any chances so I stuffed my attic with steel wool. It cuts down on EM radiation from satellites. I feel safer.

[David Goldman]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I'm not taking any chances so I stuffed my attic with steel wool. It cuts down on EM radiation from satellites. I feel safer.

That's a great idea. Actually, I still have a lot of my Y2K canned food up in mine. I wonder if that would work like steel wool?

[Nobar King]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

That's a great idea. Actually, I still have a lot of my Y2K canned food up in mine. I wonder if that would work like steel wool?

Steel wool has a lower density ratio because it's not all full of water, but has more surface area. Plus, those cans are going to start to leak and attract ants.

[Isabella Abbey]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

Steel wool has a lower density ratio because it's not all full of water, but has more surface area. Plus, those cans are going to start to leak and attract ants.

Why don't you wise and cautious fellows just line the attic floor with aluminum foil? It shouldn't take more than a couple of rolls and a satisfying half-day's work.

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[Nobar King]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

I tried aluminum once, but it is h-ll for my cell phone reception.

[Bob4God]

Re: Mayan 2012 Prophecies

Oh I know the devil is up to something! He always is!

This is just like the time he got all those Heaven's Gate loonies to kill themselves in an attempt to catch a ride on a comet!

I bet he's still laughing it up over that one!

He is out to get every last one of us, but he'll never get me or any of mine, that's for sure! JESUS protects me!