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  • #1

    Announcing The Landover Baptist Creation Science Fair Winners

    Congratulations to all the True Christian™ children who entered. Here are this year's winners.



    First Prize goes to Wallace VanDerman for his brilliant and convincing explanation on why there are no minorities in Heaven. He won lunch with Pastor Deacon Fred.




    Second Prize goes to Rusty Williams for his excellent expose of the AIDS plague as sent by our loving God. He won an autographed Bible from the True Christian™ Pastor of his choice.




    Thomas Prescott and Brad Meyers took Third Prize for their wonderful explanation of the Global Warming hoax. They took home a Landover Baptist Church bookmark.




    Tommy Marks took home the Fourth Place Prize for his creation science experiments with cats. An LBC bookmark for him too.




    The "girl's prize" goes to Suzie for her attempt at explaining Creation Science. She takes home a Ladies of Landover Cookbook.




    Due to odious and anti-American hatecrime legislation under the Obama regime, Landover Baptist Church has been forced to award a token nigra prize. So here it is. The boy stole one of our staplers, and we had him arrested.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: creation science, home experiments, school, science of cats, scientists
  • #2
    Re: Announcing The Landover Baptist Creation Science Fair Winners

    Uh, Pastor, Rusty Williams needs to be watched. I realize you might not get aids from horses, but I don't think he needs to be promoting horses as a sex method!
    Not to mention he said, man and horse!
    It has indeed proven fatal in the past.
    here's the link, I'm not posting the details on our boards.

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002384648_farm16m.html
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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    • #3
      Re: Announcing The Landover Baptist Creation Science Fair Winners

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Congratulations to all the True Christian™ children who entered. Here are this year's winners.





      Due to odious and anti-American hatecrime legislation under the Obama regime, Landover Baptist Church has been forced to award a token nigra prize. So here it is. The boy stole one of our staplers, and we had him arrested.
      Lawd hab mercy cause I see dat fat lil boy, Tyrone Powers Jr be at it again. I ain't surprised he stole yo staples cause last summer he done took Miz Agnes Reeves big ole bloomers off her laundry line and went prancin round Freehold wif dem on his head. Da nice Po-lice Officer had to finally taser da boy in his behind to git him to stop. Um um um, nothin shocks me bout dat boy, nothin!
      Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

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