[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Although I am still hard at work on my top-secret undercover mission, I felt the need to take a moment to share with you a ground-breaking new advancement made in the field of computer science.

Granted, I've always found Computer Science to be somewhat of a fruity field (real science is done in a lab, not in front of some fantasy computer world). But there are times when even a field overcome with evil can occasionally see the Light of our Lord & Savior.

I give you: King James Programming! It isn't specified in the documentation, but I have to assume that this is based on the 1611 version (otherwise I imagine the whole thing would fall apart!).

These things have I told you, and ye shall not have occasion any more to use this alternative representation.

If this doesn't exactly reflect the values that we True Christians™ hold, then I don't know what does!

Now I must admit that I don't fully understand pretty much anything else in that document, but the Holy Spirit has given me the Godly Understanding necessary to know that this language is truly inspired.

I have made the recommendation to the Landover Scientific Society that we immediately incorporate this programming language into the development of JesOS™ and JesOS Mobile™.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Thank you for sharing this with us, Brother! This is a most fascinating piece of news, and so hopeful!