[Mary Etheldreda]

Mrs. Keeper, your meals look delectable! How nice to provide your husband with such lovely presentations for such healthy choices!

[Kitchen Keepin]

Mr. Keeper loves ANYTHING fishy!!

[Kitchen Keepin]

COMPANY'S COMIN'!!!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

I ran across this horrible website filled with vile rants from an obviously unsaved woman who hates her family.

Dear Dinner,

Let's get something straight: I love to cook. My mother loves to cook. Her mother loved to cook.

And I love food. All kinds of food.

And if you ever meet me, you will see right away that mine is not a body defined by judicious and restrained tasting of these meals...

But Dinner - one of these days, you and me are gonna meet on a dirt road in front of a dusty, run-down town at noon.

Every day you taunt me with your inevitability and your intractability.

"What's it gonna be tonight, Lydia? Huh? It better be good. Your husband and your precious children deserve delicious vittles. Its what they expect from you. But is it healthy? Is it organic? Is it also - affordable? Is it something that will not only fill their bellies but make them happy? Will they feel the love with every bite? Can you deliver? WILL YOU DELIVER? Or will you puss out and make them Annie's macaroni and cheese again?"

Suck it, Dinner. You know you can't be organic and affordable. That's a f**cking trick question. I can't hit a home run every night. It's not possible. Albert Pujols can't hit home runs every night. Sometimes Annie's is the best choice. Its all natural. And it's that or frozen pizza. And just tell me - How exactly am I supposed to cook awesome food when I am at swim team practice every night until 7:50pm? And when I come home my kids are so strung out and tired and whiny and melt down-y that they are barely able to speak English? It sounds more like this:

"MooooooooommmmeeeeheeeehiiittttmeeeeWahhhhhhwahhh hh!" It takes every ounce of patience and strength that I have just to get them in the house without losing my schmidt. And then what? You expect me to make a nice Bearnaise sauce?

Dinner, you must be out of your damn mind.

It goes on (and on and on and on) at the link. Warning: It becomes far more vile and profane as it goes on (and on and on).

And to think I found this while looking for a picture of the taste treat Widow Helen made last night:

[Kitchen Keepin]

Mr. Keeper is gonna get a fishy little midnight snack before bedtime.

[Kitchen Keepin]

I'm not sure I approve of this. I love a good weeny as much as the next wife, but this Halloween business seems ungodly to me.

Does anyone else disapprove of all these demonic decorations one sees around this time of year?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

The japs take their little wieners and cut them up with ninja blades and make them look like tiny octopusses.

I can't say I like them.

[Deaner]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

The japs take their little wieners and cut them up with ninja blades and make them look like tiny octopusses.

I can't say I like them.

They used to do the same thing to Americans. That's why a couple of hundred thousand of them got lit up like light bulbs.

[PetitionLady]

Originally Posted by Kitchen Keepin

COMPANY'S COMIN'!!!

Oh my, I've never seen anything like it, sister! Jellied Beef Mold. I'm afraid something scares me about it.

[PetitionLady]

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer

I ran across this horrible website filled with vile rants from an obviously unsaved woman who hates her family.

It goes on (and on and on and on) at the link. Warning: It becomes far more vile and profane as it goes on (and on and on).

And to think I found this while looking for a picture of the taste treat Widow Helen made last night:

Thanks for the warning, Rev. Yes, what a shocking site and those replying to her are of the same sluggish mindset. (I couldn't click on the Rants in My Pants subject, just couldn't.)

I'm grateful those women aren't my mother. Also, grateful that my father doesn't have to deal with such an attitude. He wouldn't. I'm one of those rare people whose parents are still happily together. That site reminded me again. Praise God!

YSiC

[Kitchen Keepin]

some of the church ladies are coming over for tea!! I better get cracking on my snacks so the ladies can finish up and be gone before Mr. Keeper comes home from work.

I would NEVER expose him to useless women's chattering.

[Matthew Hopkins]

Pardon me for posting on this thread, Landover Ladies, but after the recent, tragic demise of the fourth Mrs Hopkins, I am struggling to find a restaurant that serves my usual breakfast staple:



I am sorely missing my daily Croûtes Forestière wife, and wondered if you good ladies might be able to explain to a simple man, such as myself, how to go about making this delectable dish?

YBIC

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Matthew Hopkins

Pardon me for posting on this thread, Landover Ladies, but after the recent, tragic demise of the fourth Mrs Hopkins, I am struggling to find a restaurant that serves my usual breakfast staple:

Attachment 20167

I am sorely missing my daily Croûtes Forestière wife, and wondered if you good ladies might be able to explain to a simple man, such as myself, how to go about making this delectable dish?

YBIC

It looks like a cowpie with grass sticking out of it.

[Matthew Hopkins]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

It looks like a cowpie with grass sticking out of it.

But it tastes so good!

YBIC

[Matthew Hopkins]

However, this was my first attempt, which was less than toothsome...

A little help, ladies?

YBIC

[Kitchen Keepin]

Whilst I, personally, sneak behind the barn if I ever feel the need to partake of any tobacco products, I'll make sure Mr. Keeper has at least 2 packs ready during Thanksgiving Dinner.

[Kitchen Keepin]

Since it is a sin to labor tomorrow, The Lord's Day, I have whipped this up tonight so it will be cool and ready to unmold after Sunday Services.

[Kitchen Keepin]

Jello makes me jump for joy!!

[Kitchen Keepin]

for some of you young Christian Ladies still seeking a spouse - perhaps more mayonnaise in your Church Pot Luck offerings will attract an appropriate suitor!

[Kitchen Keepin]

Mr. Keeper never turns away from a fish mold dish!!