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Dr. Anthony J. Toole's Avatar
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Default Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-08-2019, 07:31 PM

I've seen these weight-loss machines are very popular with the ladies. Personally I don't see the attraction but I know you ladies like to take care of yourselves with gym schedules and diets and make-up and shaving all your body hair. So who's going to drop hints for one of these machines for Christmas - then you can get the 6am gym experience in the comfort of your own home?
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-09-2019, 12:59 AM

I was told I should get a Peloton. I asked my Pa about these bikes. He hasn’t said yes or no. I get the feeling his silent stare followed by walking away makes me think he is getting me one for Christmas so I have to pretend like I have no clue now.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-09-2019, 01:43 AM

What a neat idea, Dr. Toole! For a woman struggling with her character that is. Those of us whom the LORD has blessed with ambitious wombs are always fit! Why, people stop and stare at me and all my children with looks of admiration when we're in downtown Des Moines, whether we're shouting scripture so men can hear the Word of God and by hearing have faith (Romans 10:17) and be saved (Ephesians 2:8), or throwing stones at sinners to catch their attention (John 8:7; 1 John 5:18), between raising my children and tending to my back yard vineyard (Proverbs 31:16-17), I wouldn't have time to use such a secular toy. Strangers stop me on the street and ask me the secret of my captivating smile! When they find out how many children I have, they congratulate me and tell me I don't look a day over 24! This happens all the time! People say these things to me all the time! They're always talking about it! No, sitting on a simulation disco stick that functions to induce a state heaving bosoms like a whore might have is not for me, thank you very much.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-09-2019, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
I was told I should get a Peloton. I asked my Pa about these bikes. He hasn’t said yes or no. I get the feeling his silent stare followed by walking away makes me think he is getting me one for Christmas so I have to pretend like I have no clue now.
Maxine, engaging in deception is a dangerous strategy. Perhaps you should be more forthcoming about how much you need one of these things. Fake it, if necessary. Think of the plus size side - maybe you'll attract a high quality husband and be one less mouth to feed. What a gift to your father.
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flag Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-09-2019, 02:25 AM

I have no idea what this thing is, so I Googled it (emphasis added).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wickedpedia
In a road bicycle race , the peloton (from French, originally meaning 'platoon') is the main group or pack of riders. Riders in a group save energy by riding close (drafting or slipstreaming) to (particularly behind) other riders.

Who wants a peleton for Christmas? Gay French hippie communists, apparently.


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-09-2019, 12:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Maxine, engaging in deception is a dangerous strategy. Perhaps you should be more forthcoming about how much you need one of these things. Fake it, if necessary. Think of the plus size side - maybe you'll attract a high quality husband and be one less mouth to feed. What a gift to your father.
I’m rather confident in my own body. I might be only a couple of pounds above some of the other girls in my classes but I wouldn’t consider myself to be overweight. Nonetheless I am having thoughts on whether workout tapes would be more effective than a 2000 dollar bicycle. I decided to go through some and found this.



For any of the older folk at Freehold who feel that VHS tapes may not be for them, I also found this.




Nevertheless, after reading the opinions of the elders of LBC here, I think it would be wise to pass on a Peloton. I don’t think I’m in “need” as nobody has ever told me I’m overweight or anything. I think if I were out of shape then someone would tell me by now right? I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

God would also give me a sign to tell me I’m overweight as well and if I’m to have a Peloton, it would be him who’d give it to me as per Proverbs 3:5.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-10-2019, 12:25 AM

If you can afford one of these overpriced Peloton's (as well as their stock), it means you're not tithing enough to Jesus.

If kitchen and house chores are not enough to keep fit and trim, there's always snow shoveling and lawn mowing (with the added benefit of depriving income to illegal immigrants so they will head back home). How about walking to the grocery store and carrying back your purchases. Finally, there's always putting on a crown of thorns and dragging a cross a few miles.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 04:46 AM

Wow! They see this:

. #1. #2
.PRICE: less than $200
.GOES: anywhere
.PRICE: more than $2,000
.GOES: nowhere
Name:  pedal 1.png
Views: 60
Size:  139.5 KBName:  pedal 2.png
Views: 60
Size:  81.0 KB


and think, “Yeeeeaaahhrggh ...NUMBER 2 ...niice!"

. Would someone not in tune with The Lord benefit from exercise?
. . It's like those "joggers" doing their "stretching" on street corners or by traffic lights.
. . . Why carry on like that in such a place?
. . . . Proverbs 7:12
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 04:47 AM

My great aunt Wynnie on her return trip from Zimbabwe brought me one of these when as a little girl, along with a hoof-clubbed stick and an elephant's foot.



Charming beasts, how I miss mine..


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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 09:43 AM

Is that an aard-vark? I don't think you can eat them.


Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 11:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
My great aunt Wynnie on her return trip from Zimbabwe brought me one of these
From ZImbabwe, you say? Oh my goodness! However did the poor creature get there?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 11:49 AM

The peletons are native all over Africa, you can see it on a map. It's somewhere in that jumble of central territories.

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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Brent View Post
The peletons are native all over Africa, you can see it on a map. It's somewhere in that jumble of central territories.
By "poor creature", I was referring to your great aunt.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 01:04 PM

I suppose she was a whinny critter of misfortune. She had a glass eye that wiggled, and a nose like a garygole.
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Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 05:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
Wow! They see this:

. #1. #2
.PRICE: less than $200
.GOES: anywhere
.PRICE: more than $2,000
.GOES: nowhere
Attachment 28561Attachment 28562


and think, “Yeeeeaaahhrggh ...NUMBER 2 ...niice!"

. Would someone not in tune with The Lord benefit from exercise?
. . It's like those "joggers" doing their "stretching" on street corners or by traffic lights.
. . . Why carry on like that in such a place?
. . . . Proverbs 7:12

Jesus also hates virtue singnaling.

Quote:
Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

- Matthew 6:1


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is online now
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Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-12-2019, 06:19 PM

I hear Peleton stock is going down. I can only assume it is due to the Great Awakening President Trump has inspired in Christian America! Now that people are taking their faiths seriously they are reading the Bible and find skinniness is not Godliness:

The Lord loves fat so much He will take charge of it all.

All the fat is the Lord's.
Leviticus 3:16

Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).

The sword of the LORD is filled with blood,
it is made fat with fatness. Isaiah 34:6

God likes fat animals, too. He will even engorge them with people to make them even fatter, all in the name of His vengeful justice.

Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ...
Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ...
And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you.
Ezekiel 39:17-19

Lazy people are skinny and poor, and the LORD has no affection for them.

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing:
but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
Proverbs 13:4

The Word of God is clear, if you trust Jesus, He will make you fat.

He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Proverbs 28:25

You can know the tree by it's fruit (Matthew 7:16), and wicked people are skinny and hungry fruit, whereas the righteous aren't afraid to pack a Godly amount of junk in their trunk.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ...
they shall be fat.
Psalm 92:12;14

The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul:
but the belly of the wicked shall want.
Proverbs 13:25

I don't know why anyone would spend money on a contraption that Jesus so clearly disapproves of, and I think that is why their sales are hitting rock bottom.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Emily Brent's Avatar
Emily Brent (On Moderation) Emily Brent is offline
Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
Foul Sinner on Moderation

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Posts: 109
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Godless UK
Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Emily Brent is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Who wants a Peleton for Christmas? - 12-13-2019, 02:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post

Lazy people are skinny and poor, and the LORD has no affection for them.

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing:
but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
Proverbs 13:4

The Word of God is clear, if you trust Jesus, He will make you fat.

He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Proverbs 28:25

You can know the tree by it's fruit (Matthew 7:16), and wicked people are skinny and hungry fruit, whereas the righteous aren't afraid to pack a Godly amount of junk in their trunk.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ...
they shall be fat.
Psalm 92: 1214



You exemplify these virtues better than none other. (Except VictoryOS)
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