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kinkmedaddy69420 kinkmedaddy69420 is offline
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Grammar Nazi howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:16 AM

HEY GUYS

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord


gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :gath ering:
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:27 AM

Cautious welcome. Who’s Jebus?

Edit: Just showed my Pa your name and what you typed and he’s telling me to tell you that I should never speak to you again so bye.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkmedaddy69420 View Post
HEY GUYS

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord

gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :gath ering:
Dear Miss Kinkmedaddy: Greetings in ' precious Name, and to our assembly, here at . We are happy that you have found your way here to seek fellowship with us. Most importantly, we pray that you have decided, truly, to seek the . I should mention that we are a "no nonsense" group of believers here. You will find that all of our Scriptural references come from the . We do not use any of those other watered-down versions, and we do not cherry-pick our favorite verses whilst ignoring others.

Perhaps you can favor us by telling us a bit about yourself, such as how you became saved by the of (if that has happened), how you plan to serve the in order to avoid burning in forever, and what church you currently attend. We'd also love to know what your favorite Bible verse is.

I'd like to leave you with a Scriptural verse of particular significance, and one that you must consider very seriously: Romans 6:23 " For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

May richly bless you as you find here, at , . We look forward to getting to know you. A blessed day to you, Miss. Sincerely, Isabella W.



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkmedaddy69420 View Post
HEY GUYS

im new here and i am ready to axceptt the almighty lord

gonna be lots good fun fixn and the changn over from what am currently be, but it gonn be reall real good i tell ya hwat :gath ering:
Dear person,

It is indeed possible that you could become of the the "least" - those of the retarded sinnerkind who can eventually know Jesus and serve Him in Eternity.

Hebrews 8:11
And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

However, there's a lot of Praying required to cleanse your spelling and your somewhat lame attempts to shock our community with the all-too-often utilized user-name bound numerological acronyms for mutual oral fornication and substance abuse - please let me ensure you that in our community there are many former fornicators with mankind as well as former addicts that have recovered due to Jesus.

So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Cautious welcome. Who’s Jebus?

Edit: Just showed my Pa your name and what you typed and he’s telling me to tell you that I should never speak to you again so bye.
Amen, Sister Maxine! I'm just waiting for that newcomer to "reward" me with an insult for being so patient, kind and welcoming. Lord knows it was difficult overlooking such atrocious spelling and grammar! One wonders if this is our Nigerian friend with a new account??



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Dear person,

It is indeed possible that you could become of the the "least" - those of the retarded sinnerkind who can eventually know Jesus and serve Him in Eternity.

Hebrews 8:11
And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.

However, there's a lot of Praying required to cleanse your spelling and your somewhat lame attempts to shock our community with the all-too-often utilized user-name bound numerological acronyms for mutual oral fornication and substance abuse - please let me ensure you that in our community there are many former fornicators with mankind as well as former addicts that have recovered due to Jesus.

So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Amen, and thank you, Brother White. It was all I could do to suppress the urge to bring out my red pencil and mark that introductory message with a big "F". A blessed evening to you, Dear. Sincerely, Isabella W.



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:53 AM

A very cautious welcome to you. Not only is your spelling and grammar atrocious, but you failed to follow the instructions at the top of the page. I hope you read Sister Isabella's post that features those instructions and follow her suggestions. I don't think you'll follow through, but if you do, I expect your writing to be better.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabella White View Post
Amen, Sister Maxine! I'm just waiting for that newcomer to "reward" me with an insult for being so patient, kind and welcoming. Lord knows it was difficult overlooking such atrocious spelling and grammar! One wonders if this is our Nigerian friend with a new account??
Sister Isabella you are a blessed soul with so much godly insight. It very well could be the N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ Nigerian trying to sneak it’s way back on here to insult our families more. I hope to be able to grow up to be just like you when I am older.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 02:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
So, instead of wasting your time on the manic psychological defense of outdated wit, why don't you pick up a Bible - a virtual one or actual vellum - and join us in study and Worship. We can help you overcome your retard ways if you just let Jesus in!
Amen! Close out your 4chan tab and pick up your Bible! Come find Salvation! It's a trip!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Isabella White is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: howdy yall, im ready to except the lord jebus - 05-05-2019, 06:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
Sister Isabella you are a blessed soul with so much godly insight. It very well could be the N̶i̶g̶g̶e̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ Nigerian trying to sneak it’s way back on here to insult our families more. I hope to be able to grow up to be just like you when I am older.
Why, thank you kindly, dear Sister Maxine. That is a very sweet compliment, and it makes my old heart feel good, to know that the light of shines through me to inspire you. I will be sure to let you know if I hear of any more attacks from that Nigerian prince. It wouldn't surprise me if he tries to con us into believing that he wants our bank account information so he can "give" us millions of dollars. He will have to do better than that in order to fool this old woman, as I wait constantly on the in prayer!

Psalm 130:5,6:
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
6 My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

A blessed day to you, dear Sister. Sincerely, Isabella W.



Lift ye then your voices;
Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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