Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Dear Fellow Christians,

I come with a message to you Landover Ladies expecially.



13 years ago, my loving wife, Heather had died from a rare colonary inflamination. Here's a pic of here in her younger youthful days reclining in the backyard. Such Christian beauty.




I now have come to terms to seek a new Landover Baptist Christian Lady who must be so clean of sin as to be JESUS-WORTHY!

If anybody lovely lady wishes to step forward, please do so.

Don't hesitate to ask questions as well. I do have list of requirements that should be no surprise if you read the Bible.

In Loving Praise,

Reverend C.T. Green

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

GLORY Brother!

You are such a handsome,fine, GODLY man. I am already bethrothed to Pastor Zeke, but would be thrilled to help you with your search for a new True Christain(tm) wife.

Why don't you stop by my place this Wednedsay (you know the large yellow and white mansion on the corner of Rapture Cir. and Morning Wood Lane in the Apostle's Grove Subdivision http://www.landoverbaptist.org/REALESTATE/index2.html) on Wednesday after the LOL (Ladies of Landover)) Bible study. Sister Sue, Sister Tali AND Sister M&M will be sure to attend. We just LOVE our Wednesday night LOL Bible study as the pastors usually stop by afterwards and bring us a nice big helping of Dicken's Cider. Sometimes we get seconds! GLORY!

Anyway.... as everyone knows, I am Freeholds most successful match maker and would be delighted to help you in the GODLY endevour. Let me know how I can help you.

Tell me Brother. Are you looking to make more soldiders for CHRIST, or do you mostly just want a GODLY companion?

I will also invite Mildred McGillicudy. She has been looking for a True Christian(tm) husband for many years. I'm not sure why marriage always eludes her. She makes a find dung bread (but no where near as good as Sister Sue's) and knows her place.

Helpful, Sister Thumper

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

That sounds splendid. It means of course that I would have to cut my missionary trip in Mexico short, but those greasy wetbacks tried to eat the HOLY BIBLE, so I'm sure there's no point in me trying to stop a certainty of brimstone doom for them.

I will catch the next flight to the Godly U. S. of A. so that I will attend the Wednesday get-together and join up for some good ol' Bible study.


Mexico smells like upchucked tacos that are infected with gonorrhea, in which I'm more than glad that God has shown a sign for a reason to leave.

PRAISE!
See you then!


-Rev. Green

[shert]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??

[Brother John]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

As far as I know I thought there was to be no divorcing, but that might well be Catholicism.
Didn't Abraham marry more than once too?

[Brother John]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

If only I could edit my own posts, what a capital mistake! Abraham was only married to Sara, not to Hagar. Shame on me.

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??

If your wife dies, you can take another, but only after a few requirements are met.

If only I could edit my own posts, what a capital mistake! Abraham was only married to Sara, not to Hagar. Shame on me.

You can edit your posts, but only for up to 10 minutes.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

From my little understanding about your Religion, I thought True Christians are only allowed to marry once in their life, is that true or there are some exceptions??

True Christian men may marry as many women as local laws permit. However, they may not divorce their wives, except in cases of adultery.

True Christian women may marry one man. If he dies, then they may remarry. However, there is no reason a woman may divorce her husband and remarry.

[SUV]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Brother Green, as you may know, I've had my eye on you for quite some time now - Just Like HE Has His Eye on the Sparrow!!!

Now, you wouldn't mind a gal that likes to clown around once in a while, would you?

(And friends tell me that I sing just like Lurleen Lumpkin!)

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Sister Sue Vera,



I am pleased you are interested, and I have noted your little "notes" around here too me. Such loyalty!

Do show up Wedneday at Sister Thumper's Godly American Mansion so that I will see that you are the true Christian woman for me, and that you will honor and serve like all good little Christian gals should.


-The ever so Godly, Rev. Green

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Well I have to say, my Wednesday two days ago at Sister Thumper's home was quite extrodinary. Pastor Ezekiel is very lucky to have a woman who can whip up a lean MEAN Tuna and Cheese Casserole like that. I was pleased to say many Ladies of Landover attended.

[SUV]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Brother Green, I'd thought someone would have answered the door chimes immediately upon smelling the aroma from steaming loaf of dungbread that I'd baked to show off my Christian Baking skills! (Yes; it's been known to strew it's scent even past the closed shutter.)

But boo-hoo-hoo, I just stood there and stood there, Beeseeching, until the Hounds raced at me from around the corner. And though they began whining and shrieking, then retreating, I decided to go Home anyway - I was fixin' like to get me a frostbite in my tootsies.

Brother tell me: Are you still Available?

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Well yes I am Sister Sue Vera. Would you care for a little "Bible Study" together? Say how about Saturday? Then we go to Church the next day.

[SUV]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

Well yes I am Sister Sue Vera. Would you care for a little "Bible Study" together? Say how about Saturday? Then we go to Church the next day.

Why, YES, Brother! Especially if we can 'do' Deuteronomy. It's my "Number 1 Fave, Bible Rave!"

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Handsome and Eligible Christian Male Widow.

I have to thank Sister Thumper, for she has recommended something excellent for.


It seems there is nothing better for a get-together with your best gal than with a large amount of thick Dicken's Cider!

http://www.catsprn.com/sounds/wav/dickens.wav

I think Sister SUV will love it!


-Rev. C. T. Green