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  • My Pa found a disturbing profile belonging to Miss Larguez.

    This will probably be the most damning evidence yet that should disqualify her from running in the Freehold elections. It’s so disturbing that I can’t post it here. My Pa supervised while we googled her full name and location. Apparently this Miss Larguez person has a Yelp account. She’s taken it upon herself to vote down the local pie maker of Freehold. Yup. That’s right. She gave Daisy Mae Johnson’s pies ONE STAR. Aside from this, I have found she has left raving reviews of The Red Hen. The same Red Hen that tried to oust Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I won’t even ask why or what “Intimate Secrets” is but apparently this Miss Larguez loves that place too. On a side note, Pa won’t let me click the information about “Intimate Secrets”. Probably some knockoff of Comet Pizza from DC.

    This Miss Larguez claims to be a woman but can’t tell a good pie from the poop in her toilet. Make the right decision. Vote for Johnny Joe Hold for honest pie reviews and clean shoes for Sunday Church.
    My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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