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Freehold Firearms, at the corner of Exodus and Seventh in Freehold, Iowa, is proud to sponsor one of the most ambitious True Christian scientheistic experiments ever conceived!
Penicillin vs. Prayer
"But what is penicillin," you may ask. "It sounds perverted."
Well, it is!
Penicillin is a medicine used to treat and cure bacterial infections. It is used in the treatment of everything from syphilis to bubonic plague.
Of course, True Christians know that these things, like all maladies, are judgments from GOD meted out to unrepentant sinners.
The only true cure for any disease is prayer and faith. But just try telling that to an unsaved world blinded by the wiles of science! They won't believe anything you tell them without "evidence."
The Plan:
Landover Baptist University, in association with Freehold Firearms, is seeking volunteers to be infected with streptococcus from Mrs. Johnson's 11 year-old son, who will lick a spoon that you will then be asked to keep in your mouth for about five minutes.
Once you are diagnosed by a secular doctor with strepthroat, you will then be taken back to LBC University and be assigned to either group A or group B.
One of those groups will be given penicillin to treat their infection. The other will be prayed for regularly by the True Christians of Landover Baptist Church whilst receiving a placebo pill. (We have prayed fervently with the pastors of Landover, and it has been determined that it is not technically lying in the Biblical sense to tell this group that they're receiving penicillin when they are in fact being given sugar.)
Over the course of ten days, the progress of both groups will be closely monitored by True Christian scientheists and it should come as no surprise to them when they inevitably discover that the group being prayed for recovers much more rapidly from their infection than the group being given an evil potion with a name that sounds too much like "penis" to have been an accident.
If you are interested in making medical history and proving JESUS to the world, please come into Freehold Firearms and sign up to be in the experiment!
Penicillin vs. Prayer
"But what is penicillin," you may ask. "It sounds perverted."
Well, it is!
Penicillin is a medicine used to treat and cure bacterial infections. It is used in the treatment of everything from syphilis to bubonic plague.
Of course, True Christians know that these things, like all maladies, are judgments from GOD meted out to unrepentant sinners.
The only true cure for any disease is prayer and faith. But just try telling that to an unsaved world blinded by the wiles of science! They won't believe anything you tell them without "evidence."
The Plan:
Landover Baptist University, in association with Freehold Firearms, is seeking volunteers to be infected with streptococcus from Mrs. Johnson's 11 year-old son, who will lick a spoon that you will then be asked to keep in your mouth for about five minutes.
Once you are diagnosed by a secular doctor with strepthroat, you will then be taken back to LBC University and be assigned to either group A or group B.
One of those groups will be given penicillin to treat their infection. The other will be prayed for regularly by the True Christians of Landover Baptist Church whilst receiving a placebo pill. (We have prayed fervently with the pastors of Landover, and it has been determined that it is not technically lying in the Biblical sense to tell this group that they're receiving penicillin when they are in fact being given sugar.)
Over the course of ten days, the progress of both groups will be closely monitored by True Christian scientheists and it should come as no surprise to them when they inevitably discover that the group being prayed for recovers much more rapidly from their infection than the group being given an evil potion with a name that sounds too much like "penis" to have been an accident.
If you are interested in making medical history and proving JESUS to the world, please come into Freehold Firearms and sign up to be in the experiment!
I'm so excited at the opportunity to be part of the experiment that will do away with secular medicine for good, I'd love to help out! Please reserve a spot for me in the prayer group.
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