Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I can appreciate art, even some of the more racy and controversial ones like this one I bought from a local French artist that only cost me $2500. I think it's a parody on the gay lifestyle showing them trying to split the check at a restaurant. I can just hear the loud lispy voices proclaiming "I didn't have the sausage, I'm not paying for the sausage, HE had the sausage".




However, despite my real and deeply held attempts to accomodate modernist themes in art, I find more and more that it all containts the same thing:

Vaginas.


Vaginas.


Vaginas. Vaginas. Vaginas.


It's almost like everything anyone does nowadays is about vaginas. They can't get it out of their minds - they are sick, perverted people - putting representations of vaginas everywhere. There's no escape, it's like being taunted by the girls at the next school who wore their skirts unbelievably short and put on lipstick and made cruel comments to the fat kids who needed hormones. I mean, my point is it's not art like people are supposed to draw pictures of - why can't they stick to rolling hills or ravines. Or face shots, videos. Compilation videos, hours of them. Art that makes commercial sense.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

I mean, my point is it's not art like people are supposed to draw pictures of - why can't they stick to rolling hills or ravines. Or face shots, videos. Compilation videos, hours of them. Art that makes commercial sense.

You speak the truth, Dr. Toole. Why do these phony artists paint pictures that are painful, even sinful, to look at. The big money is in art people like.

Terry Redlin is an example. He is considered the best commercial success in the U.S. He died recently but his art is still available in his own galley on I-29 just west of here in Watertown, South Dakota. Terry never painted a vagina in his life. All of his paintings are original and all look like this one:

[VictoryOS]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Please forgive me for questioning a male member of the staff, but shouldn't this be in the Men Only section? The last thing we women need to know is what a v*gina looks like.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Thank you for bringing this up. I was recently thinking about that fat lezbean, Georgie O'Queefe and her fallopian fatansies of roses in her art (which I won't show here, for goodness sake), and I was about to make a topic on it and voice a complaint, but you beat me to it! I think Jesus is trying to tell us all something, all at once.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Please forgive me for questioning a male member of the staff, but shouldn't this be in the Men Only section? The last thing we women need to know is what a v*gina looks like.

Ma'am, if your v*gina (or any body part) looks like these paintings, you should go see a Pastor immediately. But point taken - the arts are male-dominated and you should not worry your pretty little heads with anything more complex than arranging flowers and keeping up to date with pie recipes.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Terry Redlin is an example. He is considered the best commercial success in the U.S. He died recently but his art is still available in his own galley on I-29 just west of here in Watertown, South Dakota. Terry never painted a vagina in his life. All of his paintings are original and all look like this one:

Even more successful than True Christian painter Thomas Kinkade? Several of the rooms in my motel are adorned with Kinkade originals (the other rooms feature the delightful cartoons of A. Wyatt Mann). Kinkade was a real man's man, not some heathen fairy like Leonardo da Vinci, Andy Warhol, or Bob Ross.


What kind of queer wants to spend all day looking at vaginas?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Even more successful than True Christian painter Thomas Kinkade? Several of the rooms in my motel are adorned with Kinkade originals (the other rooms feature the delightful cartoons of A. Wyatt Mann). Kinkade was a real man's man, not some heathen fairy like Leonardo da Vinci, Andy Warhol, or Bob Ross.

Kinkade ranks up there with the great ones. I've never understood what the term "abstract art" means. Are Redlin and Kinkade considered "abstract?"

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Thank you for bringing this up. I was recently thinking about that fat lezbean, Georgie O'Queefe and her fallopian fatansies of roses in her art (which I won't show here, for goodness sake), and I was about to make a topic on it and voice a complaint, but you beat me to it! I think Jesus is trying to tell us all something, all at once.

You bring up a point there Brother Lombardo, and if I'm not mistaken all this vag "art" is lezbean in orgin.
Tee A. Corinne (born Linda Tee Cutchin) published a coloring book back in 1975 that started this trend.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

-–-Does this count?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Kinkade ranks up there with the great ones. I've never understood what the term "abstract art" means. Are Redlin and Kinkade considered "abstract?"

It still looks like vaginas to me. What's WRONG with everyone?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

It still looks like vaginas to me. What's WRONG with everyone?

I think that Kinkade guy wanted to appear "folksy" in his art but could not repress his desire to present abstract sex. A cross on top of a church steeple has to represent the male sex organ. Why was he so famous? Sinners buy a lot of art.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

I think that Kinkade guy wanted to appear "folksy" in his art but could not repress his desire to present abstract sex. A cross on top of a church steeple has to represent the male sex organ. Why was he so famous? Sinners buy a lot of art.

Oh no. It gets worse. The church topped by an erect steeple surrounded by thick bush(es) is shockingly obscene. Also note the rushing stream to symbolize the rolling sweat that accompanies fornication.


Rest assured, my print of this painting has been burned. I've set Dennis Jr. The task of examining the others to make sure they're not pornographic, because he seems to know a lot about the subject for some reason.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Oh no. It gets worse. The church topped by an erect steeple surrounded by thick bush(es) is shockingly obscene. Also note the rushing stream to symbolize the rolling sweat that accompanies fornication.

Finally someone else sees the truth in these disgusting pornographic works. Not just the steeple, look at the mocking foxgloves and the boastful pines showing off their erect fullness. The stream literally gushes out as the valley is penetrated, and the house serves to accent the fact that the purity of nature has been dominated. A little house (clitorus/penis) in the forest (pubic hair). Locked doors. Boys' dorm room. Shameful acts, sexual in nature. Weeping as you fall to sleep. IT'S RIGHT THERE!!!1!

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

You speak the truth, Dr. Toole. Why do these phony artists paint pictures that are painful, even sinful, to look at. The big money is in art people like.

Terry Redlin is an example. He is considered the best commercial success in the U.S. He died recently but his art is still available in his own galley on I-29 just west of here in Watertown, South Dakota. Terry never painted a vagina in his life. All of his paintings are original and all look like this one:

I think I can say that this is the best artwork I have ever seen. Sadly he went home to the Lord in the April of 2016.

[handmaiden]

Re: Modern Art: why does it all look like vaginas?

Finally someone else sees the truth in these disgusting pornographic works. . . A little house (clitorus/penis) in the forest (pubic hair). Locked doors.

Question: Whatever is a "clitorus" and what does it have to do with a p*nis?