[Glendora Christianson]

Your (very heterosexual) Mother Glynndie is concerned for her UnGay friends. It seems Pastor Haggard is trying to convince folks that giving him money will help make him straight. But heed Mother Glynndie's warning . . . your misspent money will not help Pastor Phaggard raise his pintle skyward in the presence of the opposite sex, rather, your hard earned dollars will likely be spent on drugs and the kind of deep dark trouble only the most depraved of minds can imagine. So for our spiritually limp wristed friends who struggle with their devilish desires, the best advice is to save your spiritually salvating dollars for GOD's ONE TRUE CHURCH (LBC of course!)

[Seeker]

Colorado Springs, Colo. — The Rev. Ted Haggard, who left the megachurch he founded after admitting to "sexual immorality," has asked supporters for financial assistance while he and his wife pursue their studies.

It takes a very special kind of fool to give them money. Oh brother. Even though I am so tempted to dig into my pocket book, NOT

[Sista Lateefah]

Well, whenever me or Ira sees a po' person (when we's outside of Freehold, of course. I doesn't think we has no riff-raffs here in town), and they be beggin' fo' money or food, we gives them somethin' they can really use! We gives 'em a pocket-sized KJV1611, like the Lord command (Matthew 4:4). In a similar way, Ira said we's not gonna give Mista Haggard one dime, but if Mista Haggard contact him, he be mo' than happy to put a end to Mista Haggard's faggery once and fo' all.

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. - Matthew 5:29-30

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Seeker

It takes a very special kind of fool to give them money. Oh brother. Even though I am so tempted to dig into my pocket book, NOT

Listen, Honey, if you are going to spend money on religion, there is only ONE WAY. Hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and donate to JESUS directly, not through some homer. Fifty bucks minimum. Thanks for caring.
Pst. Al.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Listen, Honey, if you are going to spend money on religion, there is only ONE WAY. Hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and donate to JESUS directly, not through some homer. Fifty bucks minimum. Thanks for caring.
Pst. Al.

Well geez, I need a little mercy on this subject. It seems those "tithes" will keep this board a running. And I want it too to keep this true message out for loosers that follow BS. (can I say that here?)

My big problem is that I am paying on all my hospital bills right now or they will sue me! Yeah, that means with United Health Care insurance and I can't place the blame on GW when he spends his time fishing. I must be too rich for medicade and too rich that the health insurance wants to screw my ass big time. I had a letter in the mail confirm this today.

United health care (ain't that a funny name, health care "term" provider that those end time christians want to claim some "one world government." And they say that socialism is some of the devil's workshop. LOL!! Suckers and puppets!

[Seeker]

Don't even dish my cat...

[Seeker]

Argg, my pic is not gonna work here!! Curse*

[Sister Noddy]

Originally Posted by Seeker

Well geez, I need a little mercy on this subject. It seems those "tithes" will keep this board a running. And I want it too to keep this true message out for loosers that follow BS. (can I say that here?)

My big problem is that I am paying on all my hospital bills ...

Gosh Seeker, that's a shame, since the $50 (Paid Subscription) Tithe to Jesus's favorite Baptist Church LBC, would have got you the nice turquoise-blue color and the title Member for your username; also use of the personal messaging and the edit-your-own-posts (for 10 minutes only after posting) feature! but hey, it's not the end of the world!

... hope yooooou are having a good time on the forum, noddy

[Wash O'Hanley]

Unless your name is Jesus Herald Christ you can pay the small fifteen-hundred dollar love offering to become a True Christian™ (and go to heaven). Until then stop whining.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Listen, Honey, if you are going to spend money on religion, there is only ONE WAY. Hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and donate to JESUS directly, not through some homer. Fifty bucks minimum. Thanks for caring.
Pst. Al.

I was just wondering why 50 bucks? How did you come up with that number? So say someone payed less it would not count?

[Seeker]

Anyone, bular...

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Someone who doesn't provide for his own has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). That's on top of being a drug-addled homer, of course.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou

Someone who doesn't provide for his own has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). That's on top of being a drug-addled homer, of course.

Erm, and this has got to do with the 50 bucks million dollar question?

[Glendora Christianson]

Originally Posted by Seeker

Erm, and this has got to do with the 50 bucks million dollar question?

Of course, Jesus likes $100 dollar bills better than $50's. But I think we settled on $50 to make it easier for heathens to commence their salvation. Trust me, after a while, our Lord grows tired of stingy contributions and HE has been know to punish penny pinchers.*

* I am reminded of Genesis CH4:3-5

[roserougesang]

I haven't tithed a cent and they made me a member for some strange reason.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Seeker

I was just wondering why 50 bucks? How did you come up with that number? So say someone payed less it would not count?

Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson

Of course, Jesus likes $100 dollar bills better than $50's. But I think we settled on $50 to make it easier for heathens to commence their salvation. Trust me, after a while, our Lord grows tired of stingy contributions and HE has been know to punish penny pinchers.*

* I am reminded of Genesis CH4:3-5

Indeed Mother G.

The actual meaning of "Tithe" is ten percent of your income. Gross, not net. Jesus was clear about expecting a Tithe from us all.

Lev 27:32 And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, [even] of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.

Num 18:26 Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, [even] a tenth [part] of the tithe.

Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

However, in the case of the poor, Jesus stated that they should give every red cent they have, in order to be more blessed.

Mark 12:41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. Mark 12:42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. Mark 12:43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: Mark 12:44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

I'd advise you, as a Pastor, to sell everything you own and send in every penny you can lay your hands on. Jesus will take care of those joos at the hospital, and every other problem you might have, but ONLY if you give Him all your money.

So you don't forget, click on that Paypal button RIGHT NOW! Praise Jesus! you'll be so glad you did!