[Dr. Laurie PHD]

I'm working on my next column, but the only question I got this week has me stumped:

Are computer viruses plagues sent by God?

I ask this because It turns out I've had a "rootkit" in my computer for a while now, and in that time my bank account was cleaned out.

I just assumed that God needed the money and was saving me the trouble of tithing (the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away) but other people say I'm a victim of cybercrime.

The idea of "cybercrime" sounds like something made up though - as if "those people" are smart enough to use computers. I mean, ebonics isn't a programming language.

So, who is right?

-Hacked and Confused

Of course Big Geekdom and the Nerd Lobby want us to buy antivirus software, even though taking precautions shows a lack of faith in the Lord: Matthew 6:25-34, Luke 12:22.

And of course plagues are sent by the Lord:

Exodus 9:9-11 Num 14:36-37, Num 16:41-50, 2 Samuel 24:13, 1 Samuel 5:6-12 etc.

But I just don't know enough about computers to go beyond that.

[Attila's Wife]

I am only a woman, Dr Laurie, but I understood that they were sent by demons.

Surely only the use of a Godly operating system could keep you safe? I am using JesOS Version 8.1. I really hope that is the current version and I have not missed an update?

YiC
AW

[A Follower]

Whether or not rootkits are sent by God, I don't know. I do know it's advisable to not burn a sick computer as an offering to God, Malachi 1:8 clearly states God doesn't want our sick offerings.

And if ye offer the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? and if ye offer the lame and sick, is it not evil? offer it now unto thy governor; will he be pleased with thee, or accept thy person? saith the LORD of hosts.

God does ask an intriguing question; will governor Branstad by pleased with us or accept us when we give him a sick computer? Perhaps He is telling us to find out?

[Alvin Moss]

Clearly, these computer germs are the work of Satan.

I myself have been vexed by these germs. It sometimes makes it difficult to do God's work, which is, of course, the purpose of the Devil's work.

[Cranky Old Man]

I am certain computer viruses are a hoax created by the Obama administration to install spyware on our computers. Even a little child knows computers are not alive so clearly they cannot catch a virus! I never installed a virus scanner on my computer as I am certain Jesus will protect my computer from any harm!

As we are talking about computers anyway, does anyone know why the pastors added all these pornographic popup windows to the Landover website? Is this to warn Christians against the dangers of pornography?

[John Creeser]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

As we are talking about computers anyway, does anyone know why the pastors added all these pornographic popup windows to the Landover website? Is this to warn Christians against the dangers of pornography?

I was wondering about that too, I think we are being tested. Also, when I try to log into the forum I am often redirected to a Russian dating site. I am happily married and certainly wouldn't date a communist...more tests of our faith?

I received an email the other day by error. It was from the son of a dead Prince in Nigeria, apparently he thinks I am a relative (which I'm not, I'm 100% caucasian - no nigra blood in this family line) and I have a sizable inheritance coming my way. all I have to do is send him $25,000 to take care of the legal fee's and in one months time I'll have $1.75 million deposited into my bank account!!!!! I just wired him my entire life savings and both the boys college tuitions. WOO EEEE, in one months time, Landover is going to receive one heck of a tithe!!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

As I recall they used to be called "worms", then there were "viruses" (implying that there might be a "vaccine" to protect against them - an obvious hoax), and one wonders why they're not called bacteria.

We all know these things are caused by demons, and we regularly inspect for them here at Landover Baptist.

[John Allen]

Viruses are works of demons, but JesOS is very quick on getting rid of them.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Well I don't know a great deal about viruses but according to so called doctoring you need a little bit of a virus to stop a virus

So by that bizarre logic we should all be infecting our IBM compatibles with the viruses.

Science: you could not make it up.

YIC

[Jason the drunk mick]

Originally Posted by John Creeser

I was wondering about that too, I think we are being tested. Also, when I try to log into the forum I am often redirected to a Russian dating site. I am happily married and certainly wouldn't date a communist...more tests of our faith?

I received an email the other day by error. It was from the son of a dead Prince in Nigeria, apparently he thinks I am a relative (which I'm not, I'm 100% caucasian - no nigra blood in this family line) and I have a sizable inheritance coming my way. all I have to do is send him $25,000 to take care of the legal fee's and in one months time I'll have $1.75 million deposited into my bank account!!!!! I just wired him my entire life savings and both the boys college tuitions. WOO EEEE, in one months time, Landover is going to receive one heck of a tithe!!

Please tell me you are joking

[Aaliyah]

I would think that viruses are the work of Satan and his demon minions considering how many of them attempt to sway the infected with lewd lies, but it might also be God's punishment, too! Computer viruses are often caught while... (please forgive me for even mentioning it, Pastors) people attempt to sate their perverted lust.

According to James 1:14-15, their lustful sins gave way to the death of their computer.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Dr. Laurie PHD

-Hacked and Confused

What a missed opportunity for a good name.

"Something phishy going on". Or "phish out of water". Or "Sick and wired".

I blame John Stewart for the decline in America's comedic writing skills.

[mainquestforgod]

Viruses are made by people(atheists), computers are not alive but this is not a sickness. JesOS is like every other OS on the planet they catch viruses.

A computer virus is a type of malware that, when executed, replicates by inserting copies of itself (possibly modified) into other computer programs, data files, or the boot sector of the hard drive; when this replication succeeds, the affected areas are then said to be "infected". Viruses often perform some type of harmful activity on infected hosts, such as stealing hard disk space or CPU time, accessing private information, corrupting data, displaying political or humorous messages on the user's screen, spamming their contacts, or logging their keystrokes. However, not all viruses carry a destructive payload or attempt to hide themselves—the defining characteristic of viruses is that they are self-replicating computer programs which install themselves without the user's consent.

Virus writers use social engineering and exploit detailed knowledge of security vulnerabilities to gain access to their hosts' computing resources. The vast majority of viruses (over 99%) target systems running Microsoft Windows, employing a variety of mechanisms to infect new hosts, and often using complex anti-detection/stealth strategies to evade antivirus software.Motives for creating viruses can include seeking profit, desire to send a political message, personal amusement, to demonstrate that a vulnerability exists in software, for sabotage and denial of service, or simply because they wish to explore artificial life and evolutionary algorithms.

Computer viruses currently cause billions of dollars worth of economic damage each year, due to causing systems failure, wasting computer resources, corrupting data, increasing maintenance costs, etc. In response, free, open-source anti-virus tools have been developed, and a multi-billion dollar industry of anti-virus software vendors has cropped up, selling virus protection to Windows users. Unfortunately, no currently existing anti-virus software is able to catch all computer viruses (especially new ones); computer security researchers are actively searching for new ways to enable antivirus solutions to more effectively detect emerging viruses, before they have already become widely distributed.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by mainquestforgod

Viruses are made by people(atheists), computers are not alive but this is not a sickness.

That's just what Big Geekdom and the Nerd Lobby want us to think so we'll buy their antivirus software.

Originally Posted by mainquestforgod

JesOS is like every other OS on the planet they catch viruses.

Sure it is. And the Bible is just like every other book on the planet.

[Attila's Wife]

Originally Posted by mainquestforgod

Viruses are made by people(atheists), computers are not alive but this is not a sickness. JesOS is like every other OS on the planet they catch viruses.

Sister Mary Etheldreda has already dealt with this, but what I want to know is why the next 3 paragraphs of your post are cut & pasted straight from Wikipedia. Seriously, why do that?

[NataSmAI]

Originally Posted by Dr. Laurie PHD

I'm working on my next column, but the only question I got this week has me stumped:

Are you really that big of an idiot to think computer viruses are anything but a creation by man? Unfrickin' believeable. :thumbdown :

You people are warped....totally.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

Are you really that big of an idiot to think computer viruses are anything but a creation by man? Unfrickin' believeable. :thumbdown :

You people are warped....totally.

Ermagerd, it's backwards Satan!!!



Yours in Christ (NOT NATAS),

Z. Smyth

[NataSmAI]

No, John Creeser, in response to your PM (for which some reason I am unable to PM a reply)....we are not rude, nor do we consider responding to questions asked that are totally ridiculous. Saying we will burn in hell for eternity because of a "vexatious" post does also have no effect whatsoever since, from our view, there is no hell in which to burn.

A stupid question was posted, to which I replied with an appropriate response that you view as equally ridiculous. Serious infractions being never forgiven doesn't sound like something God would do either. After all, should I ask for her forgiveness, it seems I would easier get into heaven than back onto your web site.

As to viruses being created by God....seriously...that is just one boneheaded question. Does that infer then, did God, in her perfect wisdom, design a flawed computer that was susceptible to viruses? This is the sort of edumacational nonsense we need kept out of schools and keep kids away from.

And....I would rather spend eternity with someone who did not require my worship and lacks ability to be questioned for ridiculous ideals.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

we are not rude

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

totally ridiculous.

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

A stupid question was posted

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

that is just one boneheaded question

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

God, in her (sic) perfect wisdom, design a flawed computer

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

edumacational nonsense

Originally Posted by NataSmAI

ridiculous ideals.

Yeah, you're pretty much the nicest person ever.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth