[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

As you all know, I am somewhat of an expert on hell. I Preach on it often, and I have a fine collection of art that (I believe) accurately depicts the actual tortures awaiting the unsaved(r) down in the pits of satan. I can't wait to watch sinners burn in hell!

I would offer private tours of my art collection, but those are reserved for Double Platinum tithers.


















Artwork like this will scare the b'JESUS out of any good Christian.

[Darren Ingram-Myers]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

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Is that a depiction of Jesus wearing a dress?




You disgusting little godmocker! If I ever get my hands on you I'll have your head sliced off and send the video to your family.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

As you all know, I am somewhat of an expert on hell. I Preach on it often, and I have a fine collection of art that (I believe) accurately depicts the actual tortures awaiting the unsaved® down in the pits of satan. I can't wait to watch sinners burn in hell!

I would offer private tours of my art collection, but those are reserved for Double Platinum tithers.

Artwork like this will scare the b'JESUS out of any good Christian.

Wonderful pieces of high-quality art, indeed, Pastor! My personal favorites in the Hell genre are those that tell us the story of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-3) in pictures. I have chosen a few here for you to admire!





1. Craftsmanship and general quality

• Both pictures are extremely well executed and the technique of the painters is flawless.

2. Compatibility with the Bible

• No doubt about this! The most beautiful verse in this pericope (see below) is depicted in excruciating detail.
• Luke 16:23 - And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message

• This is extremely useful. Not only does this tell us that Hell is eternal and everlasting torment (Revelation 20:10). In addition, THIS is the one verse where we can clearly see that the communication channels between Hell and Heaven are open and work both ways. The rich man was able to converse with those in Heaven and he was also able to see those rewarded by Jesus with Life Eternal in Joy and Ecstasy! Furthermore, those in Heaven could perceive the tortures and the agony of the sinner. This is a win-win situation that needs to be repeated over and over again. Those in Hell will suffer even more horribly - as they deserve, because they failed to choose Jesus although God Loved the world so much that He offered Himself for our Redemption (John 3:16-18) - while seeing how bad it is in Hell will add to the enjoyment of those (that means us True Christians™) in Heaven. This is excellent design by Jesus: everybody gains!

4. Potential risks of the image

• No risks whatsoever.

Revelation 20:10
And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

Brethren,

I've come across a wonderful modern painter, Mr. Blingee, that has produced lots of high-quality artwork depicting Jesus Christ! I have here just one glorious example. This is, I must warn you, ultra-modernist, as it requires digitized devices to be presented. At the same time, it is a wonderful manifestation of the Power of Jesus that transcends also modern technology.



1. Craftsmanship and general quality

• Extremely well executed, outstanding painting skills, the composition and color scheme are just overwhelmingly good.

2. Compatibility with the Bible

• This is a warning. It shows how Jesus can appear anywhere, how He follows our every step and how He'll come very soon in an unexpected manner!
• 1 Thessalonians 5:2 - For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message

• Very useful. It tells us how we can never be complacent. We must fulfill all God's commandments (Ecclesiastes 12:13) and be constantly vigilant lest Jesus come! He is always fluttering just beyond our sensual perception, always attentive lest we trespass, always ready to smite the sinners that oppose Him! This is also very good deterrent for our children!

4. Potential risks of the image

• No risks. Extraordinary quality. This is the best that True Christian™ art can offer!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL



I think this shows how Jesus favors the little girl in His arms in the midst of a world of unbelievers from various false religions and weird cultures. It's a lesson to mankind - if you want Jesus to love and embrace you too, you must first give up your heathen ways.

Here's another one for consideration:


I find this so hopeful because it reminds me that one day I too will be raptured from this earth, freed from this dull existence, this life of servitude and monotony. My soul will be freed from this body, from this dark world, and I will go to meet my Bridegroom who left before me to make a Room for us for our Divine, Eternal Honeymoon.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

I think this shows how Jesus favors the little girl in His arms in the midst of a world of unbelievers from various false religions and weird cultures. It's a lesson to mankind - if you want Jesus to love and embrace you too, you must first give up your heathen ways.

Here's another one for consideration:


I find this so hopeful because it reminds me that one day I too will be raptured from this earth, freed from this dull existence, this life of servitude and monotony. My soul will be freed from this body, from this dark world, and I will go to meet my Bridegroom who left before me to make a Room for us for our Divine, Eternal Honeymoon.

You are a very cultured lady, Mary, I must note.


In the first one, I'm pleased it evokes a Republican photo-op. No more than two of each non-white race present, to not muddle up the beautiful white palette, but still encompassing the requisite representation of diversity to show that Jesus, nor Republicans are definitely not racist!


In the second, I love that everyone loves Jesus so much, they are on the verge of tearing our Savior apart. It's a kind of yearning devotion you wonder if life can imitate as well as art.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The True Christian™ Art Critic - Assess your Favorite Jesus Pictures to Avoid HELL

Brethren! Some more exquisitely crafted True Christian™ art has been found! Unfortunately, this is by an anonymous artist (such humility!) in an unknown church but based on the assessment below it must be a True Christian™ one!



Of course, it is the favorite subject of all decent believers! Christ's Redemption over OUR sins! Here he is being gently lowered from his temporary suffering on the cross by his mother, Mary the Harlot who engaged in premarital sex with her OWN SON (Matthew 1:18)!

But let us assess this piece of art.

1. Craftsmanship and general quality
Excellent skills in glass painting. Life(or death)like colors. The line of Jesus's neck is especially pleading showing His mercy towards those who accept him and His Wrath towards those who reject Him (Exodus 34:7).

2. Compatibility with the Bible
Well, Mary was at the Cross. This is historical fact depicted in this illuminated masterwork!

John 19:25
Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.

3. Usefulness in a True Christian™ message
Very useful. Jesus died for OUR sins. It must have been quite unpleasant. Those who don't realize this are subjected to His Wrath! Ha (Ephesians 5:6)!

4. Potential risks of the image
As the whereabouts of this nice piece of high-quality art remain obscure, it is possible that visiting the original artwork could cause perilous ramifications if there were any cultists temples (such as Catholic, Hindoo, Mormon or Scientologic) in the vicinity. Only visit this place with a senior True Christian™ man of good standing.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer