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Default Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-15-2014, 09:34 PM

Brother Mister Mayor,


Brother Cobb and I were wondering when you might be able to help open Naomi's Moist Pie? We are hoping for an April celebration and we want you to speak at that ceremony. I know your oral skills are amazing, so you'll be sure to excite those in attendance.


What we have planned so far:


1. Morning prayer breakfast in the Baptist church fellowship hall from about 8 AM until 9:30. (Pastor Zeke, are you going to be able to lead us in prayer?)


2. Walk of Victory from the fellowship hall to the store, as we all sing hymns of praise and glory to JESUS. (This is about a five minute walk at most. Wheelchairs available for the infirm in limited quantities. We prefer that you pray for healing in advance of the opening.)


3. Speech from Mayor Hold (10 minutes or so)


4. Song from Mrs. Minerva Oppendorf, "In the Garden"


5. Speech from Brother Cobb (5 minutes or so)


6. Brother Rusty will deliver a special poem of thanks to Jesus


7. Along with Brother Cobb and Mayor Hold, I will cut the ribbon


8. We begin serving our wondrous pies.


There are limited hotel rooms available in Leith, but all expenses of this sort for traveling speakers, etc. will be paid by Naomi's Moist Pie.


Mayor, please let me know if you would like to add anything from this proposed program. HALLELUJAH - JESUS IS LORD!


Anyone reading this: I am still in need of someone to sit with Mother and Father in the first row of guests during the speeches so that they don't cry too loudly out of happiness for me. I was going to ask Mother of Seven but she can't hold her bladder long enough. Such a pity.


Thanks, Brother Mister Mayor! The first pie shall be YOURS.


NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
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Locations in 50 States and Canada
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Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-15-2014, 09:44 PM

You still haven't got over the fact that your lady bits will never know a man?
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Default Re: Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-16-2014, 01:39 AM

Sister Naomi--I would be both delighted and honored to speak at the ribbon cutting. The program sounds delightful. It is short but inspiring.

No doubt Naomi's Moist Pies will be one of the treaures of Freehold.

If you would care to entertain one suggestion, it would be this. After the walk from the Landover Baptist Church breakfast with the prayer by Pastor Zeke, I think it would be nice to raise a United States of America flag and all of us together recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

My staff have put it on my callender and I am excited to participate. May God Bless Naomi's Moinst Pies.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-16-2014, 05:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Sister Naomi--I would be both delighted and honored to speak at the ribbon cutting. The program sounds delightful. It is short but inspiring.

No doubt Naomi's Moist Pies will be one of the treaures of Freehold.

If you would care to entertain one suggestion, it would be this. After the walk from the Landover Baptist Church breakfast with the prayer by Pastor Zeke, I think it would be nice to raise a United States of America flag and all of us together recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

My staff have put it on my callender and I am excited to participate. May God Bless Naomi's Moinst Pies.
Dear Brother Mister Mayor,

I am sure it is my fault that I didn't communicate strongly enough that this ceremony is for the Leith location with your friend, Brother Cobb.

While I was prepared to move to Freehold and open a shop on Paul Crouch Avenue, Pastor Zeke seemed unconvinced that I would be safe. Perhaps you can can help me to gain his faith and trust. I became a platinum tither but that didn't seem to matter.

I would do anything for the Freehold community (within reason) and would happily open one of my shops there, but I must know that I'll be welcome. After all, it is about Christian fellowship and love and nothing else. I can bring economic growth to the city and much needed tax dollars.

But all that aside, please tell me you'll join us in Leith, ND when I spread the doors to my pie open wide so that all may partake!

Respectfully,
NRL


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-16-2014, 05:52 AM

I'm not going to be seen in public with a bunch of cripples. If you have cripples there, count me out. They give me the heebie-jeebies.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Attention, Mayor Hold - 03-16-2014, 06:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I'm not going to be seen in public with a bunch of cripples. If you have cripples there, count me out. They give me the heebie-jeebies.
Brother Cobb is trying to get Brother Hinn to make an impromptu appearance just before the Walk of Victory. Surely Benny can breathe on them or something so that the wheelchairs and canes can be left behind. It would be historic (and publicity for you) if the public sees your spiritual gifts. Imagine the donations that would come flooding in!

Of course, I know you aren't motivated by money or fame, Pastor. That's why we praise GOD every day for someone like you: humble, holy, handsome, and well-sung.

Glory!


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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