Attention, Mayor Hold

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Brother Mister Mayor,


Brother Cobb and I were wondering when you might be able to help open Naomi's Moist Pie? We are hoping for an April celebration and we want you to speak at that ceremony. I know your oral skills are amazing, so you'll be sure to excite those in attendance.


What we have planned so far:


1. Morning prayer breakfast in the Baptist church fellowship hall from about 8 AM until 9:30. (Pastor Zeke, are you going to be able to lead us in prayer?)


2. Walk of Victory from the fellowship hall to the store, as we all sing hymns of praise and glory to JESUS. (This is about a five minute walk at most. Wheelchairs available for the infirm in limited quantities. We prefer that you pray for healing in advance of the opening.)


3. Speech from Mayor Hold (10 minutes or so)


4. Song from Mrs. Minerva Oppendorf, "In the Garden"


5. Speech from Brother Cobb (5 minutes or so)


6. Brother Rusty will deliver a special poem of thanks to Jesus


7. Along with Brother Cobb and Mayor Hold, I will cut the ribbon


8. We begin serving our wondrous pies.


There are limited hotel rooms available in Leith, but all expenses of this sort for traveling speakers, etc. will be paid by Naomi's Moist Pie.


Mayor, please let me know if you would like to add anything from this proposed program. HALLELUJAH - JESUS IS LORD!


Anyone reading this: I am still in need of someone to sit with Mother and Father in the first row of guests during the speeches so that they don't cry too loudly out of happiness for me. I was going to ask Mother of Seven but she can't hold her bladder long enough. Such a pity.


Thanks, Brother Mister Mayor! The first pie shall be YOURS.


NRL

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: Attention, Mayor Hold

You still haven't got over the fact that your lady bits will never know a man?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Attention, Mayor Hold

Sister Naomi--I would be both delighted and honored to speak at the ribbon cutting. The program sounds delightful. It is short but inspiring.

No doubt Naomi's Moist Pies will be one of the treaures of Freehold.

If you would care to entertain one suggestion, it would be this. After the walk from the Landover Baptist Church breakfast with the prayer by Pastor Zeke, I think it would be nice to raise a United States of America flag and all of us together recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

My staff have put it on my callender and I am excited to participate. May God Bless Naomi's Moinst Pies.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Attention, Mayor Hold

Sister Naomi--I would be both delighted and honored to speak at the ribbon cutting. The program sounds delightful. It is short but inspiring.

No doubt Naomi's Moist Pies will be one of the treaures of Freehold.

If you would care to entertain one suggestion, it would be this. After the walk from the Landover Baptist Church breakfast with the prayer by Pastor Zeke, I think it would be nice to raise a United States of America flag and all of us together recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

My staff have put it on my callender and I am excited to participate. May God Bless Naomi's Moinst Pies.

Dear Brother Mister Mayor,

I am sure it is my fault that I didn't communicate strongly enough that this ceremony is for the Leith location with your friend, Brother Cobb.

While I was prepared to move to Freehold and open a shop on Paul Crouch Avenue, Pastor Zeke seemed unconvinced that I would be safe. Perhaps you can can help me to gain his faith and trust. I became a platinum tither but that didn't seem to matter.

I would do anything for the Freehold community (within reason) and would happily open one of my shops there, but I must know that I'll be welcome. After all, it is about Christian fellowship and love and nothing else. I can bring economic growth to the city and much needed tax dollars.

But all that aside, please tell me you'll join us in Leith, ND when I spread the doors to my pie open wide so that all may partake!

Respectfully,
NRL

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Attention, Mayor Hold

I'm not going to be seen in public with a bunch of cripples. If you have cripples there, count me out. They give me the heebie-jeebies.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Attention, Mayor Hold

I'm not going to be seen in public with a bunch of cripples. If you have cripples there, count me out. They give me the heebie-jeebies.

Brother Cobb is trying to get Brother Hinn to make an impromptu appearance just before the Walk of Victory. Surely Benny can breathe on them or something so that the wheelchairs and canes can be left behind. It would be historic (and publicity for you) if the public sees your spiritual gifts. Imagine the donations that would come flooding in!

Of course, I know you aren't motivated by money or fame, Pastor. That's why we praise GOD every day for someone like you: humble, holy, handsome, and well-sung.

Glory!