[JennyD]

Ladies, I see that the gentlemen are preparing a bachelor party for Officer Richardson. I bet we could outdo them in fun and festivity, for Sister Victory!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I'm in! I think we should have it at the Cheesecake Factory in the Leviticus Lanes Shoppette.

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

I'm in! I think we should have it at the Cheesecake Factory in the Leviticus Lanes Shoppette.

What a great idea! They have the hunkiest friendliest and most helpful waiters there! I bet we could rent the whole place for a private party.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Originally Posted by JennyD

What a great idea! They have the gheyist friendliest and most helpful waiters there! I bet we could rent the whole place for a private party.

I am sure the party room has a fixed price but for the food I am thinking you are looking at a grazing estimate.

You might want to inform Maritime officials of the gathering so that Lunar gravitational charts can be adjusted for tidal effect compensation while you are at it.

Also... make sure the local hospital has plenty of the needed blood-types for this crowd in case of heart attacks and such... a few gallons of "Ragu+" should do.





Bless you, My circumferentially challenged rubettes,
Father Mo


.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

How did you get to be such a bitter old man, Mo?

Was it the years of performing weddings, knowing you'd never have one?

Decades of molesting altar boys, knowing you could never openly love one and that they'd all despise you for your sadistic perversions?

Or the ass ring-kissing so popular amongst Papists?

I just don't understand why you're such an unpleasant person. Could you explain why you and other Catholics like you have to insult these happy people as they plan a joyous future together?

I, for one, hope Sister Victory has a delightful time at the Beefcake Factory. I'm sure it will be a night to remember for her and the other True Christian™ ladies!

[VictoryOS]

Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester

I am sure the party room has a fixed price but for the food I am thinking you are looking at a grazing estimate.

You might want to inform Maritime officials of the gathering so that Lunar gravitational charts can be adjusted for tidal effect compensation while you are at it.

Also... make sure the local hospital has plenty of the needed blood-types for this crowd in case of heart attacks and such... a few gallons of "Ragu+" should do.
.

I'm really not sure what most of that means, but I can tell an insult when I see one, bub.

Thank you Jenny for starting this thread. The Cheesecake Factory sounds wonderful! Isn't that next door to the beef jerky outlet now? We could have cheesecake for dinner and beef jerky for dessert!

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

I'm really not sure what most of that means, but I can tell an insult when I see one, bub.

Thank you Jenny for starting this thread. The Cheesecake Factory sounds wonderful! Isn't that next door to the beef jerky outlet now? We could have cheesecake for dinner and beef jerky for dessert!

What a great idea! I'm sure we can get you quite a mouthful of beef, Sister!

Sister BTB and I will make the arrangements. What else would you like? Or does anyone else have ideas?

And can someone get some photos of the new waiters? That way, Sister Vicky can pick out which ones she wants to wait on her.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by JennyD

What a great idea! I'm sure we can get you quite a mouthful of beef, Sister!

I don't know if this helps, sister, but just yesterday I noticed that some guy named "Lucky Stud" scribbled a message in the men's room in our church that said, "Free hot beef for your wife's taco, call Lucky Stud, 557-2318." Of course, I wish he hadn't written this in the toilet stall - we prefer that these charitable offers are tacked onto the church message board. Anyway, you probably ought to look into this. I'm not sure about the details, you'll have to call.

Wishing you ladies a great party,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Oh, I just love me some Sister Victory! I JUST LOVE ME SOME SISTER VICTORYOS!!!

(A reminder to the handsome Groom: Should this Wedding fall through, I know an AVAILABLE single Lady who just might be interested.)

[Vavoline Johnson]

Originally Posted by JennyD

Ladies, I see that the gentlemen are preparing a bachelor party for Officer Richardson. I bet we could outdo them in fun and festivity, for Sister Victory!

Are we colored gals invited Sister Jenny? I can make a fine coconut cake fo da party.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I need some (tasteful) suggestion on a few games to play. Here is what I have in mind but I would like a few suggestions.

Name that Scripture:
We could play a game where we will pick a name out of a hat and and have them recite scripture and verse of how to be a subservient True Christian wife.

Famous Couples in the Bible:
Write down the last names of at least 10 famous Bible couples, and your friends and family have to put in the first names. Give only about 5 minutes to guess the names. Then read the first names and the scripture and verse that they were from. It's a fun game to play! Whoever gets the most wins the game!


Pin Things on Officer Roberts:
We would have a life-sized drawing of Sister Victory's beloved pinned to the wall. We would give her drawings of his KJV1611 Bible, his gun, badge, sunglasses, night stick and what not. Then we would blind fold her, spin her around ever so gently (not too much because I'm sure she will be stuffed with cheesecake and champagne) and then have her pin the objects on her Groom to be! I'm sure where the object will land will be a laugh riot!

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Vavoline Johnson

Are we colored gals invited Sister Jenny? I can make a fine coconut cake fo da party.

{uppity, uppity, UPPITY!}

[VictoryOS]

Ladies, it has been a hectic couple days for your Friend in Christ (me). It doesn't help that the paper delivery boy is now driving a truck without a muffler and waking me up every morning at 3:37.


Mr. Richards probably won't be snooping around in this thread, so I think it's safe to ask. Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift? I've never been married before, so I'm not sure if that's how it's done. I don't want to do anything improper.

While at the shoe store, I was looking around for some boots for Mr. Richards to wear on the job. His job requires a sturdy boot that comes up high to give ample support to his ankles. It also needs a sole which is flexible for mobility, but also provides a firm footbed to help protect his arches. Like he says, you never know what's going to happen in a shift on the streets. A brave Officer Of The Law like Mr. Richards needs to be prepared for anything, and so do his precious little feet.

I saw this pair and thought I might get them for him. The only problem is that the store doesn't have his size (6.5) and said they'd have to order them for him. The ghastly wench I spoke with at the counter seemed to be hopped up on some sort of dope, so I haven't placed the order yet for fear that she would mess it up somehow or use the paper to roll a marijuana cigarette. Anyway, this is the display for the boots I picked out. Do you think he'll like them?

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Well, well, well...Vicky and Officer Don are getting married. Well, there hasn't been a union of such gigantic objects like this since the Indian subcontinent plate rammed into the Asian plate and caused the Himalayas! <---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

I, for one, would like to know WHEN and WHERE for sure this so-called Bridal Shower is taking place. Not only is a protest rally planned for the Wedding, we also plan to picket outside the restaurant for the Shower. Our group's intention is to call to attention the sexist and conformist nature of bridal showers, as they are simply means of demeaning women and molding them into the expected role of a housewife and servant. All you women who are partaking in this evil, disgusting patriarchal hegemonic ritual are doing a severe injustice to Vicky. It is because of imperialism and male domination that.....

Wait a second hold on.






The wife is nagging. Alright, look, she wants to know what store you registered your bridal registry through. She wants to send you a shower gift. But, I must make it clear: The gift is from My'Shelle only! Not me!


Wait a second hold on....






Oh my God, I can't believe this woman. Now she's saying she wants to skip the protest and join in the shower!?!?!?!?!?! I can't believe what I'm hearing. I gotta go we need to talk....

You haven't heard the last of me! <---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Ladies, it has been a hectic couple days for your Friend in Christ (me). It doesn't help that the paper delivery boy is now driving a truck without a muffler and waking me up every morning at 3:37.


Mr. Richards probably won't be snooping around in this thread, so I think it's safe to ask. Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift? I've never been married before, so I'm not sure if that's how it's done. I don't want to do anything improper.

While at the shoe store, I was looking around for some boots for Mr. Richards to wear on the job. His job requires a sturdy boot that comes up high to give ample support to his ankles. It also needs a sole which is flexible for mobility, but also provides a firm footbed to help protect his arches. Like he says, you never know what's going to happen in a shift on the streets. A brave Officer Of The Law like Mr. Richards needs to be prepared for anything, and so do his precious little feet.

I saw this pair and thought I might get them for him. The only problem is that the store doesn't have his size (6.5) and said they'd have to order them for him. The ghastly wench I spoke with at the counter seemed to be hopped up on some sort of dope, so I haven't placed the order yet for fear that she would mess it up somehow or use the paper to roll a marijuana cigarette. Anyway, this is the display for the boots I picked out. Do you think he'll like them?

Sister Victory, maybe you could just get him a boys size 11 or 12. Do they have that in stock?

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X

Well, well, well...Vicky and Officer Don are getting married. Well, there hasn't been a union of such gigantic objects like this since the Indian subcontinent plate rammed into the Asian plate and caused the Himalayas! <---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

Why, you weightist BIGOT!

I'm appalled by this blatant hypocrisy!

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Anyway, this is the display for the boots I picked out. Do you think he'll like them?

Those are very nice boots, Sister! Maybe you would like to contact the police chief and make sure that they meet the department's regulations. They probably issue special boots for their officers, you know, in case someone tries to shoot them in the foot or something.

[confedchick]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift? I've never been married before, so I'm not sure if that's how it's done. I don't want to do anything improper.

Sister Victory,
from wedding.theknot.com - it is perfectly acceptable to give your spouse-to-be a gift. See excerpt...

Please inform us as to the matter of the wedding-gift exchange between the bride and groom. Is this a time-honored tradition?

A.

It is an optional tradition for the bride and groom to exchange gifts -- the night before the wedding, the morning of, or once the festivities are over. You could give each other something to wear for the wedding itself (cuff links, a necklace) or maybe something for the honeymoon (a great pair of sunglasses, snorkeling gear). It doesn't have to be anything major -- a photo frame or a treasured book of poetry make great gifts. Honor this tradition in whatever way you two desire!

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X

<---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

<---racist smiley. should be brown-skinned

Twice!!! Listen you, I already gave you your neegroidally-Correct (or whatever) smiley. Here it is again; take it and GO!

It's a bit 'high yaller,' yes, but don't you all wish you were lighter skinned anyway? Bless JESUS for this bonus He hath given to you.

Now, SHOO! If Sister Victory needs help in the Kitchen for the Festivities, I'm Sure she will contact you.

[SUV]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Do you think it's inappropriate for me to purchase him a wedding gift?

Sorry I'm late getting to you, Sister Victory. I had to Chastise a Certain neegroe

By all means, do stock up on all of the dark sunglasses you can find! I understand that after the Wedding Ceremony,
some new Husbands are even more likely to attempt "eye contact" with their new Brides

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Originally Posted by SUV

Twice!!! Listen you, I already gave you your neegroidally-Correct (or whatever) smiley. Here it is again; take it and GO!

It's a bit 'high yaller,' yes, but don't you all wish you were lighter skinned anyway? Bless JESUS for this bonus He hath given to you.

Now, SHOO! If Sister Victory needs help in the Kitchen for the Festivities, I'm Sure she will contact you.

I keep giving her this one that looks just like her and she just ignores it.

She needs a man to put her in her place.