The Legend of Blackie Claus

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

As we come midway between Christmas and so-called Black Pride Month, I'd like to share with you a story my father told me each Christmas. It concerns a certain gent named Blackie Claus.

Blackie Claus lives at the South Pole, where he collects welfare checks for his hundred-and-ten dimwitted children, which he had with a hundred-and-eleven different babymamas (none of whom he married, of course). While it is Blackie Claus's job to make and distribute toys for all the darkie children of the world, he prefers to drink huge flagons of malt liquor, rape white women, and listen to the cacaphonous howling of fellow shade "musicians." Out of pity for the children of the world, the real Santa Claus sends a shipment of toys to the degenerate Blackie Claus every November, whereupon Blackie promises with a straight face that he will get his applesauce together next year.

On Christmas Eve, Blackie Claus gingerly hops through the urine-soaked tenaments. He takes the fried chicken and crack vials left for him by the nigra children and leaves them some of the bounty that Santa Clause had generously donated. But, in the end, he pawns most of the shipment for pornographic magazines featuring big-bootied African queens.

And that's how spades celebrate Christmas!

If you don't believe me, maybe you should consider the companion story about a woman who didn't believe in Blackie Claus. Shaquina Scrooge was an uppity, educated negress. Some even say she could read and write. She brayed on her haunches day after day, "Ain't no Blackie Claus, ain't no such thing!" So, on Christmas Eve, she heard a booming voice from the hallway of her flop house. "Ho ho ho! I'ze gwanna peel yo cap!" And, lo and behold, it was Blackie Claus. He threw her down on the bed, only his eyes and smile visible in the dark, and scalped the unbeliever. She begged and pled for mercy, but he savaged her with his apelike member and then smothered Scrooge with her commemorative Good Times pillow. The next day, Shaniqua Scrooge's hair had already been sold to the extensions market, and was woven into the braids of a less prideful Afro-female.

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Brother McGregor]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

yes I remember reading about that old buggerer in a Canaanite Christmas.
Some other old favourites were "O little shanty in shanty town",

I saw three nigras rolling in
in raggety clothes and reeking of gin.....

or this old classic.....


Said the po lis man to the other cop
do you see what i see, do you see what i see
over there...jiving non stop
do you see what i see....do you see what i see
a darkie man running with his stash
he has rolled a poor man of his cash...
he has rolled a poor man of his cash


And who could forget this one?

away in the ghetto no money for a bed
that old drunken Rufus lay down his nappy head
he done scored the big time and stolen some loot
and turned in the stolens for a quick christmas toot
the stars in the bright sky looked down on him as he lay sup pined
old Rufus grew frosty after a hi potency mainline

This one just belts out holiday festiveness



dont rest you merry gentlemen you're not supposed to be here
ol big booty Shaquisha doesn't appreciate the queer
she likes her bucks nice and straight when they come in for a beer
oh this isn't a gay bar afterall...after all....oh this isn't a gay bar after all.

Shaquisha runs an honest joint just within the law
her daddy was a full african blood, her mommy was a squaw
she runs her bar with an iron fist just like her dear paw paw
oh this isn't a gay bar after all...after all...oh this isn't a gay bar after all

so you merry bum bandits...now you must run a long
Shaquisha is coming fast and she's rumoured to be stong
she doesn't like the fags at all...she believes it to be wrong
oh this isn't a gay bar after all....after....all....oh this isn't a gay bar after all.....

[Talitha]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

This always sends shivers down my spine.
When I was a child, Uncle Eno would sit me down on his lap and tell me the horrific tale that is the legend of Blackie Claus

No-one took Uncle Eno seriously until one day............ returning home from Church we found we'd had a visitor.

All the presents we'd been given for Jesus' Birthday, all our electrical goods and all our other valuables had gone. All the Pies had been taken from the Fridge, all the Egg Nog had been drunk.
All he'd left behind was a giant Turd in the Fireplace.

The Police were called in but all our neighbors remembered seeing was a Pimped up Honda NSX being pulled by a Towtruck. Of course, nobody bothered to report such a common image. If only they'd noticed the grinning Negra sat behind the wheel.

Since that day, every year after Jesus' Birthday, for one month I leave a Family Bucket of Fried Chicken in view when I attend Church. Just in case, and in the hope that if it ever happens again this Demon would be distracted long enough to still be there on my return.

If any Lieberals tell you there's no such thing as Blackie Claus then they are surely in league with this Hellish demon

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

People, what we are doing in this thread is called malicious racial profiling. Although people need to judge each other in order to keep themselves safe, I believe we are going over the top in this thread. God did not colour-code trash.

[Talitha]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

People, what we are doing in this thread is called malicious racial profiling. Although people need to judge each other in order to keep themselves safe, I believe we are going over the top in this thread. God did not colour-code trash.

Are you saying you don't believe in Blackie Claus?
Friend, there was a time, many years ago when I may have been skeptical about his existence. Unfortunately I learned the hard way.

I'll say this to you one time; Blackie Claus is as real as Jesus Christ and as real as Heaven and Hell.
One day when you least expect it, Blackie Claus will enter your life. It'll change you forever my friend.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Are you saying you don't believe in Blackie Claus?
Friend, there was a time, many years ago when I may have been skeptical about his existence. Unfortunately I learned the hard way.

I'll say this to you one time; Blackie Claus is as real as Jesus Christ and as real as Heaven and Hell.
One day when you least expect it, Blackie Claus will enter your life. It'll change you forever my friend.

Well in my country - (a country looked down upon by many on this forum, England), racial profiling against blacks would not lead to the same end as racial profiling against blacks as might be the case in your country. Lower-class white people who fit in to a category of "chavs" are actually much more dangerous then blacks who are generally much less dangerous!

The attitude in this thread seems very general and I fear it may alienate blacks who want to repent and be saved.

I'm open to contradiction, of course.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Well in my country - (a country looked down upon by many on this forum, England), racial profiling against blacks would not lead to the same end as racial profiling against blacks as might be the case in your country. Lower-class white people who fit in to a category of "chavs" are actually much more dangerous then blacks who are generally much less dangerous!

Stuff and nonsense.

Wilted flowers, candles and remnants of cards lie in front of a graffiti artist's spray-painted tribute to 15-year-old Billy Cox. The black teenager was shot and killed on Valentine's Day a few metres away, in a flat on a south London estate. A stone's throw and a social class away from Clapham's gastropubs and delis, the murder was one of a spate of such killings.
The police appear powerless to stop the violence, arriving to deal with the casualties and, sometimes, arrest the assailant after blood has been spilled.
Yesterday, a 14-year-old woundedin a drive-by shooting last week was released from hospital. He was luckier than some of the other victims in a series of turf wars. All seven of the young men shot or stabbed to death in London since the beginning of February have been black.
This prompted Tony Blair to speak out last week, claiming the spate of murders in London was not being caused by poverty, but by a distinctive black culture.
In 2004-05, there were 78 fatal shootings in England and Wales. Of these, 40 of the victims were white, 25 black, seven Asian. The figures do not record the ethnicity of the killers but, by and large, murderers tend mostly to target members of their own ethnic group.
In 2005-06, there were 50 fatal shootings. Eighteen victims were white, 19 black and four Asian. That same year, 351 black people were injured by guns. For whites, injuries totalled 2,952.
The statistics confirm that the problem of gun crime is not unique to the black community, but they provide stark evidence that the black community is over-represented to a frightening degree.
According to the 2001 Home Office census, Britain's black community makes up just 2 per cent of the total population. Yet each year around a third of all shooting victims are black. About one in 10 victims are of Asian origin, a population that makes up just 4 per cent of Britain's total.

When's the last time you heard anyone talk about white-on-white crime? True, the negroes aren't as bad as the towelheads, but still.

Or what about this: UK: RACIAL PROFILING ENCOURAGED. That's not us talking, that's the police.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Gun crime in the UK is very specialised. Some black groups obviously have a thing for guns - the statistics show that. If you want to know more there are two key cities - London and Nottingham, where these black communities live.

As you probably know, Guns are illegal in this country. We face much more knife crime, that is where you want to do your research. You would also want to research Chav culture.

In the city in which I live, we have an internationally recognised, distinguished hospital. The black community in my are largely people coming from Africa to work there, then sending the money home. They are unthreatening, nice people. Walk in to the council estates of the lower class areas of town, chav culture is ripe. You take your life in to your own hands there. You know, chavs actually LOOK UP to the violent black community in america, idealising the rappers. And yes, Chav culture is an overly white culture.

[Talitha]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

You know, chavs actually LOOK UP to the violent black community in america, idealising the rappers. And yes, Chav culture is an overly white culture.

I think you are confusing them with Whiggers.



I blame the outbreak of Kentucky Fried Chicken branches opening up in Godless Britain. That secret ingredient obviously has some kinda Nigra Hormone in it because there were no Whiggers before KFC!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Gun crime in the UK is very specialised. Some black groups obviously have a thing for guns - the statistics show that. If you want to know more there are two key cities - London and Nottingham, where these black communities live.

As you probably know, Guns are illegal in this country. We face much more knife crime, that is where you want to do your research. You would also want to research Chav culture.

In the city in which I live, we have an internationally recognised, distinguished hospital. The black community in my are largely people coming from Africa to work there, then sending the money home.

THAT'S your defence of negros? They come over here, steal white people's jobs, and send money out of the country - and that's the nicest thing you can think of to say about them?

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

THAT'S your defence of negros? They come over here, steal white people's jobs, and send money out of the country - and that's the nicest thing you can think of to say about them?

Brother Temperance, we need them to work for us as much as they need the work. They certainly aren't stealing our jobs!! We aren't filling the jobs!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Brother Temperance, we need them to work for us as much as they need the work. They certainly aren't stealing our jobs!! We aren't filling the jobs!

What about "chavs", as you so hatefully refer to them. Do they have jobs? Are they trained doctors? NO! Because the negroes stole their jobs! They probably threatened to shoot the chavs if they went into further education or trained to become doctors.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

What about "chavs", as you so hatefully refer to them. Do they have jobs? Are they trained doctors? NO! Because the negroes stole their jobs! They probably threatened to shoot the chavs if they went into further education or trained to become doctors.

There are employment vacancies available on the website as we speak. There is no job stealing going on.

The jobs I am speaking of are unskilled manual jobs anyone can do. The black people I am speaking of never even had the opportunity of receiving our state education, secular may it be, it gives you a path in to skilled labour! Chavs do have that opportunity! Any yet lots of chavs still remain unemployed, even with the privileges many immigrants never had. That my friend is problem within the chav culture, and the fact black people are filling the void in this hospital that they are too lazy to fill does not make them bad people. If they want a job, they could go out and get one.

With this all said, lots of chavs work in this hospital too . Porters, most of them.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

There are employment vacancies available on the website as we speak. There is no job stealing going on.

The jobs I am speaking of are unskilled manual jobs anyone can do. The black people I am speaking of never even had the opportunity of receiving our state education, secular may it be, it gives you a path in to skilled labour! Chavs do have that opportunity! Any yet lots of chavs still remain unemployed, even with the privileges many immigrants never had.

Yes! Exactly! Because they are scared that if they go into higher education or training for a skilled profession, the negroes will shoot them to protect their stranglehold over the job market!

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: The Legend of Blackie Claus

Yes! Exactly! Because they are scared that if they go into higher education or training for a skilled profession, the negroes will shoot them to protect their stranglehold over the job market!

I'm sorry? Stranglehold over the jobs market? Black people don't have a stranglehold over the jobs market. Especially in the case of skilled careers...

They don't have a stranglehold over unskilled labour either, they are a minority.

And as Pastor Ezekiel pointed out the shootings are black on black mainly! Not to mention centralised in Nottingham and certain areas of London, so I don't see why you are bringing that up.