It's Almost Finals Week

[BrotherLarry]

Finals are only 2 weeks away!


Because I know ALL of you sit and think every day, "How is BrotherLarry's Ph.D. program progressing?" I thought I would provide an update.


I have submitted two of the required four research papers. Having learned my lesson from last session, the Holy Bible was the major source of research, with Dr. White's writings being the secondary required resource. I anticipate submitting the other two papers by midweek. I will then bury myself in the Bible so that I may be successful on the final examinations that will take place in Bathfire Hall in a couple weeks. Of course, since my application for residency has not yet been approved, I will be taking finals via the Interwebs using Skype.


The scholarships provided by Sister Lamb will be instrumental in my continuing the accelerated program, and for that I am so grateful. I understand she is tirelessly visiting the professors several times a week to see what they need and has bent over backwards to see to it that those needs are met. What a special, special person she is. I can't wait to attend the university in person one day to see the improvements that her generosity has provided.


Oh, and Brother Dr. Professor White, my "Finals Tithe" has been submitted, along with the required "Grading and Review Tithe," the "Posting to Transcripts Tithe," and the "Registration for Next Session Love Offering." Thank you for pointing out the section in the Handbook related to Records Maintenance Fees and required donations to the Bathfire Endowment. I trust I will get a receipt for those shortly since I was told to send cash.


Thank you, brothers and sisters, for your continued interest and undying support for my educational pursuits. I could post updates more often if you wish!


BrotherLarry

[handmaiden]

Re: It's Almost Finals Week

Finals are only 2 weeks away!

Because I know ALL of you sit and think every day, "How is BrotherLarry's Ph.D. program progressing?" I thought I would provide an update.

BrotherLarry, in your characteristic modesty, you underestimate your importance in the inner workings of our hearts, minds and souls.


Speaking for myself, "sitting and thinking" does not begin to describe the critical significance that I place upon the progress of your Ph.D. program.


Sometimes I get severe headaches because of how hard I think about your studies. There is a dent in my forehead from my attempt to read up on the study of gnathology* of the equine kind. (I dozed off and hit my head on the desk.)


My prayers for you are often and earnest. I reflect upon your aspirations whenever I brush my own dentition or pull my hair into a ponytail.


Sleep alludes me as thoughts of your educational efforts crowd out concerns over global warming, (Why do people persist in worrying about it?), the precise intent of the Second Amendment, (Does the "right to bear arms" mean that we are only allowed to have as many guns as we can carry?), the sex lives of teenagers across this great land of ours, (What if cell phone companies could be regulated to monitor text messages and report salacious content to designated watchdog agencies?) the upcoming rapture (Will Jesus pick a time for His return when no Christians anywhere are on the toilet?) and the strange, misshapen growth poking through my left armpit, (I know, more prayer, less googling medical diagnosis sites. What can I say? The Lord continues to do His work with me.)


Forgive me for going on like this, BrotherLarry. I realize that I could be using this time to pray for you during this busy period before finals. Do keep focused on your coursework and studies and giving Glory to Jesus by acquiring prestigious letters after your name. Soon, we'll be calling you Doctor BrotherLarry. On the day when that lofty title is settled upon you, I will finally be able to rest--knowing that I did everything possible to assist you in your noble ambitions as long as it didn't require me to spend any money or actually leave my house.


In Christ's Blood,
Handmaiden

* Which I used to call the Study of Horse Teeth; silly, simple me.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: It's Almost Finals Week

Sister Handmaiden, Lovely Woman of God, and True Friend:


The sincerity with which you wrote your reply to me could not be measured, for a number has not yet been imagined that would equal such levels. Therefore, I wanted to update everyone but particularly you on my progression toward the end of the term.


I successfully submitted my work to Dr. Brother Professor Elmer, my mentor and Christian Brother. He gives me no special favors due to our friendship, and he grades with academic rigor since he is a servant of the Most High God and is accountable to Him for high standards. As an example, he made me repeat the course "Hermeneutics Relative to the Equine During the Apocalypse," even though I missed getting an "A" by only one point. He insists on perfection. The 2nd time around, I earned that A, after tithing the "Academic Forgiveness Offering" mentioned in the student handbook. I can't say enough about Brother Elmer's concern not only for my learning about creation science, but his concern for my understanding the importance of always giving to Christ and the many rewards such giving brings.


Now that I have submitted all my papers, I will sit for the exams in slightly over one week. The successful completion of exam fee has already been submitted and I am reading several books of God's Word each night in continued preparation.


Once again, since so many people commented here I will continue to keep the congregation updated of my results. I am so thankful to Christ for this opportunity to serve Him. I look forward to actually attending classes on campus some day but until then, online study is sufficient.


In JESUS,
BrotherLarry