[Aethereal]

Many women in this day and age are buying into the feminazi movement. They get jobs outside the home, teach school, and stay single until well over the age of sixteen. Here are some basic, biblical roles of women:

1. What is a woman's role in the church?

A woman is never to open her mouth in church. She has nothing valuable to say and should limit her participation to asking her husband to explain things to her

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church" (1 Corinthians 14:34-35).


2. What is a woman's role in the educational process?

Women should never be teachers because they are easily deceived

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1 Timothy 2:11-14).


3. Is a wife permitted to follow her own conscience?

A woman must obey her husband in all matters at all times

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in every thing" (Ephesians 5:22-24). "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (1 Corinthians 11:3). "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18).


4. In God's eyes, who is worth more between women and men?

God expressly says men are worth more, and actually provides dollar amounts proving this

"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the Lord by thy estimation. And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary. And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. And if it be from sixty years old and above, if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female, ten shekels" (Leviticus 27:1-7)


5. What is the role of a widow?

She should be depressed and pray day and night

Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth" (1 Timothy 5:5-6).


6. How long is a woman unclean after the messy act of childbirth?

The woman is unclean for seven days if the child is a boy, but she is unclean for twice as long if the child is a girl

"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days . . . But if she bare a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks" (Leviticus 12:1-5).


7. What are the requirements for a woman's physical appearance?

A woman must dress modestly and refrain from wearing expensive jewelry and a woman should wear her hair long

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" (1 Timothy 2:9). "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering" (1 Corinthians 11:15).


8. Can you trust a woman's promises or guarantees?

No, because women are deceitful and manipulative and because a woman's promise is null and void if her husband disapproves of it.

"And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her" (Ecclesiastes 7:26). "But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her" (Numbers 30:12).


9. Under what circumstances are we to spare the life of a married or engaged woman who has been raped?

When the woman is raped in the country as opposed to the city or when the woman is a slave girl.

"If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out onto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city . . . But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die . . . For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her" (Deuteronomy 22:23-27). And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free" (Leviticus 19:20).


10. In times of war, what is God's plight for women in the captured areas?

While the men are to be killed, the women are to be taken as slaves. Pretty women are to become the wives of conquering men who find them attractive. Women in places the Lord gives His chosen people as an inheritance are to be killed along with every other living thing

"And when the Lord thy God hath delivered [a city] into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women, and the little ones . . . shalt thou take unto thyself . . . But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth" (Deuteronomy 20:13-16). "When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies . . . And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house . . . thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife" (Deuteronomy 21:10-13).

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Nice post Danny, but we don't let fruits in here as a rule....

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Aethereal

Many women in this day and age are buying into the feminazi movement. They get jobs outside the home, teach school, and stay single until well over the age of sixteen. Here are some basic, biblical roles of women:

1. What is a woman's role in the church?

A woman is never to open her mouth in church. She has nothing valuable to say and should limit her participation to asking her husband to explain things to her

"Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church" (1 Corinthians 14:34-35).


2. What is a woman's role in the educational process?

Women should never be teachers because they are easily deceived

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" (1 Timothy 2:11-14).


3. Is a wife permitted to follow her own conscience?

A woman must obey her husband in all matters at all times

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in every thing" (Ephesians 5:22-24). "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God" (1 Corinthians 11:3). "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord" (Colossians 3:18).


4. In God's eyes, who is worth more between women and men?

God expressly says men are worth more, and actually provides dollar amounts proving this

"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the Lord by thy estimation. And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary. And if it be a female, then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. And if it be from sixty years old and above, if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female, ten shekels" (Leviticus 27:1-7)


5. What is the role of a widow?

She should be depressed and pray day and night

Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth" (1 Timothy 5:5-6).


6. How long is a woman unclean after the messy act of childbirth?

The woman is unclean for seven days if the child is a boy, but she is unclean for twice as long if the child is a girl

"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days . . . But if she bare a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks" (Leviticus 12:1-5).


7. What are the requirements for a woman's physical appearance?

A woman must dress modestly and refrain from wearing expensive jewelry and a woman should wear her hair long

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" (1 Timothy 2:9). "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering" (1 Corinthians 11:15).


8. Can you trust a woman's promises or guarantees?

No, because women are deceitful and manipulative and because a woman's promise is null and void if her husband disapproves of it.

"And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her" (Ecclesiastes 7:26). "But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her" (Numbers 30:12).


9. Under what circumstances are we to spare the life of a married or engaged woman who has been raped?

When the woman is raped in the country as opposed to the city or when the woman is a slave girl.

"If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out onto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city . . . But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die . . . For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her" (Deuteronomy 22:23-27). And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free" (Leviticus 19:20).


10. In times of war, what is God's plight for women in the captured areas?

While the men are to be killed, the women are to be taken as slaves. Pretty women are to become the wives of conquering men who find them attractive. Women in places the Lord gives His chosen people as an inheritance are to be killed along with every other living thing

"And when the Lord thy God hath delivered [a city] into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: But the women, and the little ones . . . shalt thou take unto thyself . . . But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth" (Deuteronomy 20:13-16). "When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies . . . And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house . . . thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife" (Deuteronomy 21:10-13).

Good thing those ancient outdated rules no longer apply in the modern world.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

Good thing those ancient outdated rules no longer apply in the modern world.

And where in the Holy Bible does it say that?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

And where in the Holy Bible does it say that?

Since the Bible itself is outdated, it's a given.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

Since the Bible itself is outdated, it's a given.

Does not compute.

Malachi 3:6 For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Does not compute.

Malachi 3:6 For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Only applies to Jews and Christians.

[Brother V]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

Only applies to Jews and Christians.

Only applies to people who don't want to go to hell for the rest of eternity.

Count me in on that!

[Rev. Ichabod Milton (I.M.) Sayten]

Amen!! Why can't these ladies realize that they are not human beings (only white straight men are), and no matter how they are saved, they will die and be sent into a lake of fire!!! Amen!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Rev. Ichabod Milton (I.M.) Sayten

Amen!! Why can't these ladies realize that they are not human beings (only white straight men are), and no matter how they are saved, they will die and be sent into a lake of fire!!! Amen!!

Friend, I don't know what false Christian church you come from, but here at Landover Baptist, we are not bigots. Where on earth would you get the idea that women aren't human beings? While there is a vigorous debate within theological scholars on whether females have a soul or not, there can be no doubt that they are human. Likewise your contention about "white straight men" being the only human beings is equally mystifying.

We all die. Jesus kills everyone eventually. There is no question about that. The only real question is: What happens next? Are you bound for Heaven, to enjoy an everlasting barbecue with Jesus? Or are you hellbound, where you will spend eternity having your colon shredded in satan's rape rooms? Those who reject Christ have no hope of gaining the fruits of His gift.

May I suggest that you throw out whatever false version of the Bible you are currently using, and purchase a TRUE Bible? That would be the KJV1611 Authorized version.

[Jesse]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

While there is a vigorous debate within theological scholars on whether females have a soul or not

I have one question Sir (with all due respect), how do you prove that someone has a soul? It isn't tangible is it? How do you prove that it exists if you can not see it, and don't throw the oxygen or gravity thing at me. I know you can't see either of them but you can measure them and if you go in to an area lacking oxygen you die thus oxygen must exist. I'm just wondering how you would prove the soul theory.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Landover Baptist Creation Scientist, Dr. Fred Neiman, announced findings related to his research into the female soul early this week. "The absence of either salvation or condemnation for women finds extensive support in the Word of God." He reported. "Jesus said that the sole reason God created women in the first place was to provide company and service to men (1 Corinthians 11:9), God determined that men would be lonely living alone, so he created women purely to keep men company and serve their needs (Genesis 2:18-22). Women are therefore completely subordinate to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). It stands to reason, though, that once men enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they will be one with God, and will no longer be lonely and in need of mortal companionship. Thus, the reason behind having women will no longer exist. Women, like the members of the animal kingdom, will fall by the wayside."

Dr. Neiman went on to say that, "once men reunite with their maker, they will no longer be burdened with the care of women. After all, women were inferior creations from the start. Women are fond of self-indulgence (Isaiah 32:9-11). They are silly and easily led into error (2 Timothy 3:6). They are subtle and deceitful (Proverbs 7:10; Ecclesiastes 7:26). They are zealous in promoting superstition and idolatry (Jeremiah 7:18; Ezekiel 13:17, 23). And they are active in instigating to iniquity (Numbers 31:15-16; 1 Kings 21:25; Nehemiah 13:26). It was the inherent weakness of women that led them to be deceived by Satan (Genesis 3:1-6; 2 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 2:14). Consequently, women were cursed from the start (Genesis 3:16). There is simply no room in heaven for such flawed and inadequate beings."

Pastor Deacon Fred warned the congregation that there was no reason to be alarmed. "Dr. Neiman's conclusions still need to be formalized," he assured. "I am certain that our team of religious experts will find some way around these Scriptures." Some of the women present were visibly shaken by the report. A teary eyed Sister Taffy Crockett said through choked sobs, "I've heard of colored women not having souls... but me? NO! This is outrageous!"

Pastor did have some comforting words for the ladies of Landover. "I personally want to assure all female members of this church that until we examine Dr. Neiman's research to our complete satisfaction, consider yourselves saved."

[Goatski]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

Does not compute.

Malachi 3:6 For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

The Lord is not the Bible.

Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

The Law is the Universal Law of Karma and Dharma

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Indeed. However, the book known as the Bible changes with each translation into different languages.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Goatboy

Indeed. However, the book known as the Bible changes with each translation into different languages.

As has been pointed out to you innumerable times, there is only one true, authentic version of the Holy Bible. Your failure to absorb this fact is further evidence that you are abusing narcotics.

[Goatski]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

As has been pointed out to you innumerable times, there is only one true, authentic version of the Holy Bible. Your failure to absorb this fact is further evidence that you are abusing narcotics.

On what authority is the KJV 1611 the one true authentic Bible?

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Goetien

On what authority is the KJV 1611 the one true authentic Bible?

God's?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Goetien

On what authority is the KJV 1611 the one true authentic Bible?

A dead gay English king.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Dances with Joy

A dead gay English king.

God uses queers to do His bidding, just as He might use you or me. It's HIS world girl, we're just His sheep.

[Goatski]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

God's?

Where does God say the KJV 1611 is the one true authoritative Bible?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

God uses queers to do His bidding, just as He might use you or me. It's HIS world girl, we're just His sheep.

I have no desire to be a sheep.