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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 12:27 PM

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Originally Posted by The Jedi Master View Post
Why? i mean in the end there just socks ... no one exsept those who have a feet fedish care...
Wrong, you deranged Jedi sinner. Order and disorder start in the home. Just as a woman must be silently submissive to her husband in the same way as a population should be silently submissive to George W. Bush and everybody should be silently submissive to Christ, a man must have healthy and well-organised socks if he's to take a healthy and well-organised attitude to life in general. Sure, wearing odd socks (or "queer socks", as I like to call them) may seem relatively harmless, but that harmlessness is exactly what makes them so dangerous. An otherwise innocent healthy Christian boy tries on socks that don't match, decides that experimenting with new things really isn't so bad, and before you know it he's using one hand to tug at Slick Willy Clinton's throbbing member while using the other to lob a petrol bomb at some poor harmless policemen in an attempt to bring about some state of Godless anarchy where Bibles would be banned and EVERYBODY'S socks would be collectively owned by the state. If the subversives are to be defeated, we must start in the sock drawer.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 12:29 PM

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Originally Posted by Skeeter C View Post
Women need to lern about sock brands. Dont just pair up any old socks just because their white!

You could always learn to pair up your own socks.
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 12:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Sista Lateefah View Post
And second of all, you doesn't needta be sayin' such nasty thangs about the Lord
I was talking baout his mother! What, is she special? if she gets to be more than just another dumb pair of ovaries, how come?

Well, I guess God did beget her.

I wonder what that felt like! I wonder if they had pillowtalk afterward. Ladies, what do you think the Lord would say ? I wonder if they spooned.
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 12:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
... and before you know it he's using one hand to tug at Slick Willy Clinton's throbbing member

Brother T!!

Oh! I need to go pray!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 01:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Betty Lambskin View Post
Brother T!!

Oh! I need to go pray!
INDEED YOU DO!!!

If you was spending more time studying The Word of Our Lord and paying more attention to your Husband instead of just being here criticising True Christian™ Folks I wouldn't be in a position where I'm going to have to speak to and thank Sister Lateefa for explaining BASICS to you!
Who knows what I'm gonna catch in THAT neighbourhood.

Fancy, a Negra knowing so much more about Jesus than you. A Black Negra Woman at that!!

I'm gonna have to have a word with Pastor about letting so much Unsaved Trash into our fold.

Jesus Weeps.



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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 03:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

Although it is a bit out of season, I'd like to amplify sister Lateefah's explanation about LBC's views on alcohol by sharing this excellent recipe for Easter bunny stew. It's good anytime of the year, and uses a Godly amount of beer. The pastors love it!



Pastor I was getting busy on this amazing recipe, I had assembled all the ingredients when my neighbor stopped by, just as my little Tommy was peeling off the pelt. He was all covered with blood and Trix like a little candied baby Jesus (mommy's best helper) but the rabbit kicked loose and drug it's remaining leg through the hot velveeta and out into my neighbor's open car. Now that crazy lesbo sinner said she's going to call the cops and the PETArds. Lord give me patience.

Pray for me, they're at the door again!
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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 08:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
For Christ's sake, LEARN TO SPELL you drooling retard! No one can understand a word you say.
Although, it begs the questions as to if it's more important to have a good message, and spew it out in a sea of spelling and grammar errors, or just to chuck up a drunken ramblings, and divide it up nicely. Hmm...


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Default Re: Basic Biblical Roles of Women - 06-18-2007, 09:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It View Post
Although, it begs the questions as to if it's more important to have a good message, and spew it out in a sea of spelling and grammar errors, or just to chuck up a drunken ramblings, and divide it up nicely. Hmm...
As usual, let us turn to the Bible for an example that is worthy of being followed. Hmm, the Bible seems to have a great Message (the Message of Salvation, the best Message of all ). And, what do you know, it seems to not be all garbled up. In fact, it is written free of spelling and grammatical errors -- wow! I suggest you learn to use the tools that God gave you, lest you insult Him and He sees fit to send you to the biggest barbecue pit known to mankind!


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