[Nobar King]

This is a warning to all parents!! The upcoming game for wii, "Major Minor's Majestic March" (MMMM; wonder what that means?), is a cutely disguised game that will get leigions of America's children marching in lockstep to marching songs, while the wii remote is used to instill the marching rythyms and hand gestures. Imagine when all these MMMM kids grow up and get together and start to march in unison!! By then they will be fully indoctrinated! What will happen then? By then it will be too late, because the game creators will be in control (Democrats), and will be able to make them do anything they want.

Parappa creators bringing 'Major Minor's Majestic March' to Wii
Jan 31st 2008

Yeah, yeah, we're intrigued by the possibilities of Wii Music but, like you, we're disappointed by that game's apparent lack of marching! Someone at Majesco apparently feels the same way, because the company today announced Major Minor's Majestic March for the Wii.

Featuring the talents of Parappa the Rapper designer Masaya Matsuura and artist Rodney Greenblat, the game will ask players to use the Wii remote to "keep tempo, recruit new band members and pick up valuable items." The release promises eight "whimsical" locations, a "dynamic procession" of up to 15 instruments and 25 "popular marching band songs." We hope they can secure the rights to some of the hits from Sousaphone Hero. The promise of conducting our own version of "Stars and Stripes Forever" by Holiday 2008 is just too delicious to contemplate.

Major Minor's Majestic March turns the Wii Remote into a "special" baton that the bandleader, Major Minor, uses to keep tempo, recruit new band members and pick up valuable items. While marching through eight whimsical locations that contain various hair-raising events, Major Minor strives to create the most impressive parade ever. Players can add up to 15 different instruments to their dynamic procession -- including brass, woodwinds, and percussion -- to alter its composition and resulting performance. Players are scored on how well their band maintains its rhythm and manages obstacles that could otherwise throw the procession into disarray. The band keeps tempo to more than 25 popular marching band songs from around the world, composed into original medleys for each stage.

What will the country look like when the Democrats have fully corrupted our children with this trash?

- Hatred of Israel and Palestine, the Holy land (both Democrats and Nazis hate Israel).

- Shoveling dead baby bodies into furnaces (The Nazis did this to children killed in the haulocaust, and Democrats do it to aborted children)

- No gun rights [except for the 'new army] (Not many people know that Hitler eliminated gun rights for private citizens in Germany so that it would be more difficult to overthrow him. Democrats also hate gun rights)

- Total government control over the economy, food supply, and virtually every single critical societal function. (Germany implemented a government of ultimate state-control that took over free markets and capitalism. Democrats also hate free markets and capitalism).

- No freedom of religion. (Germany imprisoned and executed people of every religion except some sects of Arian Protestantism, and even imprisoned some within this sect. Democrats also hate the idea of people having freedom of religion.)

- No freedom of speech. (German detractors of the Nazi rule were immediately imprisoned, and/or put to death. Democrats also hate freedom of speech, and are currently trying to make it a federal crime, punishable by 10 years in prison, to publicly speak out against homosexuality).

That's what it would look like.

[handofgod]

This is realy distubring, I guess the only thing we can do is pray. Oh Lord have mercy!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Thanks for the timely warning Brother Nobar.

Originally Posted by handofgod

This is realy distubring, I guess the only thing we can do is pray. Oh Lord have mercy!

Prayer is essential, but we can also mount protests and boycott any stores who hate America so much that they would sell this "game".

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Brother Habbo]

We can warn our friends and family about this game too. It is supposed to be coming out this Christmas -- that's Jesus' birthday!

It looks like this game was designed to appeal to homosexuals. I mean look at that dog -- he's clearly gay. The pig is obviously a pedophile, and I think the sheep might be a lesbian. And a green monkey -- didn't AIDS start when a couple of homos went out in the jungle and had sex with a green monkey?

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Brother Habbo

We can warn our friends and family about this game too. It is supposed to be coming out this Christmas -- that's Jesus' birthday!

It looks like this game was designed to appeal to homosexuals. I mean look at that dog -- he's clearly gay. The pig is obviously a pedophile.

The pig is clearly modelled on Hitler himself. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they included a pig in the game specifically to offend the sensibilities of our Jooish and Mudswine friends. That's just the sort of intolerant, offensive behaviour you'd expect from the Democra-Nazis.

[NonVirginMary]

The Lord wants you all to go jump off a cliff, honestly, he speaks through me.

[ChurchMarketing]

You will notice that the pig is, in fact, a reference to a "facist pig," a slur often directed against religious fundamentalists. My intelligence sources tell me that the game was developed in the laboratories of the godless orientals who run Nintendo with the intent of mocking the Christian right. The basic concept is that children will develop an association between "facist pigs" and the concept of orderly obedience to godly leaders, symbolized by the lock-and-step march that is repeated throughout the game.

I would advise all Christian parents to avoid purchasing this game for their children and instead wait until a True Christian © alternative becomes available this May. In an effort to follow-up the success of our recently released "Dance Praise" (http://www.amazon.com/Dance-Praise-P.../dp/B000BU7U48), The Landover Christian Marketing Team ™ is working tirelessly to develop a True Christian © alternative to the Mighty Marching Masochist Men, or whatever this game is called. The True Christian Alternative Software Program © is tentatively titled "When the Saints Come Marching In," and will instruct children to obediently march to the beat and tempo set by godly Christian leaders and ultimately by Jesus Himself. "Real world" leaders including Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and Mike Huckabee will be featured, setting the pace for the game's various marches. Bonus unlockable features will allow children to march to the tune of a resurrected and glorified Jerry Falwell, as well as a special "battle march" that will allow children to follow Jesus into battle against a horde of godless homosexual Canaanites. Look for the product to be released this Spring at your favorite True Christian © retail chain.

-
Bro. Obadiah Vayne
Church Marketing Specialist ™

[ChurchMarketing]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I have just returned from a consultation with True Christian © psychological analyst and converted Jew, Dr. Harvey Feinstein. Dr. Feinstein informs me that the text of the game's title contains disturbing subliminal messages, much like the title of Super Mario Galaxy, the subliminal contents of which were exposed in a previous thread. You will notice that three of the four words contained in the title begin with the word "ma," resulting in "ma ma ma." The beginning of the first and second words combine to form the word "mami," which is, I suspect, a French word for "mama." Clearly, this an oedipal wordplay here. Next, take a look at the first word, "Major, and the second word, "Majestic." The first three letters of each word are a reverse cypher of the word "jam," and then a few letters later (after the "s" in "majestic"), we have another reverse cypher of the word "it" - "Jam It." Clearly, this is a homoerotic reference to the act of jamming a man's unspeakables into another man's rectal area. The third word, "March," contains another reverse cypher - "RAM." Taken together with the previous cyphers, we have: "Jam It, Ram It" - a common homoerotic invitation extended to potential sex partners. The Ram or male goat is also a symbol of Satan, as illustrated by the Satanic baphomet (a goat's head in an unpside down pentagram), as well as being a potent symbol of unrestrained sexual passion.

Dr. Feinstein notes that the animals depicted on the banner shown above are covertly demonstrating, with musical instruments, an act of oral sex. Take a close look at the dog's face and tell me he is not engaged in an act of oral sex. (You will note, also, that "dog" is a common New Testament description of a homosexual - coincidence? I don't think so.) The monkey's tail (a phallic symbol) is also strangely extended around the dog, extending back towards the dog's rear. The symbolism here is obvious. The lamb, too, is engaged in some type of homosexual act. You will notice that "she" has "her" hand stuck up the front of the tuba "she" is playing (our oriental sources confirm that the lamb is, in fact, a male prostitute in drag, which will be revealed to children who apply certain 'codes' to the game to get an alternate version of the character without his drag outfit on). When you play a tuba, you don't put your hand into the front end, or you'll muffle the sound. This is common sense - so why is the lamb doing this? Simple - the lamb is demonstrating a homosexual act known as the "five finger salute." I'll let you imagine for yourself what this act entails.

Speaking of lambs, friends, this game is a blasphemous mockery of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us that The Lamb - the *real* Lamb - is not some homosexual nannyboy who dressed in pink and fingers tubas. There is nothing "majestic" about a game that simulates a gay pride parade and trains innocent children to march down the street with corn husks hanging out of their backsides. No, my friends, only Jesus can truly be called "Majestic," and make no mistake out it - the True Christian © alternative to this game will ensure that children give all the glory, all the praise, and all the honor to Him!

[Nobar King]

Originally Posted by Brother Habbo

We can warn our friends and family about this game too. It is supposed to be coming out this Christmas -- that's Jesus' birthday!

It looks like this game was designed to appeal to homosexuals. I mean look at that dog -- he's clearly gay. The pig is obviously a pedophile, and I think the sheep might be a lesbian. And a green monkey -- didn't AIDS start when a couple of homos went out in the jungle and had sex with a green monkey?

It wasn't a green monkey. WE KNOW WHAT CAUSED THE AIDS!! Please re-read this thread:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=7896

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by ChurchMarketing

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I have just returned from a consultation with True Christian © psychological analyst and converted Jew, Dr. Harvey Feinstein.

<Brilliant and Godly insights edited out for brevity's sake>

No, my friends, only Jesus can truly be called "Majestic," and make no mistake out it - the True Christian™ alternative to this game will ensure that children give all the glory, all the praise, and all the honor to Him!

Mr. Marketing, welcome to the forum!

From your posts, I'm quite certain our dear Pastors know you well; however, the rest of us are quite in the dark (though impressed by your incredible insights and connections to Dr. Feinstein!).

Perhaps you would do us the pleasure of introducing yourself in the Introduction Forum (a subforum of the General Church Fellowship forum)? As it is written, "bring [yourself] out unto us, that we may know [you]"!

Thank you for sharing your and Dr. Feinstein's research into this perverse and unGodly "gayme" with us. I, for one, will be warning the ladies at the orphanage to steer clear of this one . . . it appears to be just as bad as Super Mary-O Gay-Laxatives!

[ChurchMarketing]

Originally Posted by JennyD

Mr. Marketing, welcome to the forum!

From your posts, I'm quite certain our dear Pastors know you well; however, the rest of us are quite in the dark (though impressed by your incredible insights and connections to Dr. Feinstein!).

Perhaps you would do us the pleasure of introducing yourself in the Introduction Forum (a subforum of the General Church Fellowship forum)? As it is written, "bring [yourself] out unto us, that we may know [you]"!

Thank you for sharing your and Dr. Feinstein's research into this perverse and unGodly "gayme" with us. I, for one, will be warning the ladies at the orphanage to steer clear of this one . . . it appears to be just as bad as Super Mary-O Gay-Laxatives!

First of all, Sister Jenny, my name is not "Mr. Marketing." As you are well aware, Scripture advises godly women to remain silent and submissive to their male superiors, unless called upon by an ordained elder or clergyman to speak, cook, or scrub the church floors. Ms. Betty Bowers ™, Beverly LaHaye ™, and Kay Warren ™ are exceptions to this general rule, as they have been given direct permission by Jesus to assume a broader range of duties in relation to His Body, the Church.

If maintaining a consistent silence in the church is becoming a problem for you, Sister Jenny, I would encourage you to consider purchasing our patented GirlTalk© Female Communication System. Released by the Landover Women's Marketing Division ™ and developed in conjunction with Ms. Betty Bowers, the GirlTalk© system allows True Christian © women to communicate with their spouse or pastor without violating the Biblical prohibition on speaking when the church is assembled.




GirlTalk© can be an extremely useful communications tool, as it allows women to display visual impressions of sermon material. For instance, last week our pastor spoke about "Gog and Magog," and my wife, Kelsie, nudged me and showed me this on her GirlTalk© screen:




The GirlTalk© system allows True Christian © women to seamlessly communicate with their male superiors without interrupting the flow of the worship service. For instance, when my wife realized midway through last week's service that she needed to talk to one of our young, fresh-out-of-seminary ushers about the upcoming bake sale, she quickly flashed him this message on her GirlTalk©, saving the young man the embarassment of having an awkward conversation with a married woman in the church:



You can find an online prototype of the GirlTalk© system at: www.Etchy.org


Getting back to your questions, Sister Jen, the reason you have not been aware of my role at Landover Baptist Church is that my work has been classified by the Landover Board of Elders ™ until recently. As of February, I have been given permission to make my identity known, but a formal introduction will have to wait until I have consulted with Pastor Deacon Fred and the Board of Elders.