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Senior Pastor VP of Evangelical Outreach On FIRE for Jesus
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Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-02-2007, 03:44 PM
Lapu Lapu is a Chinaman who worships some demon named Chi. He thinks this demon will protect him from a blow from a razor-sharp machete, and he attempts to prove it with hilarious results.
Here is a page with a link to the video.
That fellow's problem was that he relied on demons (chi) to protect him, instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to protect him. I can't be certain, but I am certain that I saw a demon fly out of that man at the last minute, just so it could sit back and cackle with glee as the man sliced his own arm open.
Demons are unreliable and you can't trust them. God always answers prayer, only sometimes the answer is no.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 01:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben
I am certain that I saw a demon fly out of that man at the last minute, just so it could sit back and cackle with glee as the man sliced his own arm open
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I saw the same thing, brother.
This man was clearly demon-possessed and you can clearly see the demon leaving him at about 1:41, mere seconds before he hacks his arm open.
Oh well, that's what you get when you deal with demons!
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 04:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben
Lapu Lapu is a Chinaman who worships some demon named Chi. He thinks this demon will protect him from a blow from a razor-sharp machete, and he attempts to prove it with hilarious results.
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I'd say his problem was attempting something thoroughly stupid. Anyone of any belief who has an ounce of common sense wouldn't try that.
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Demons are unreliable and you can't trust them. God always answers prayer, only sometimes the answer is no.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
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Since you're so sure of the power of your god, what's stopping you making your own video and calling on your god or jeebuz to regrow/heal your arm? If you believe in the power of your god and jeebuz so much, here's your chance to prove it!
So what are you waiting for?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 04:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I'd say his problem was attempting something thoroughly stupid. Anyone of any belief who has an ounce of common sense wouldn't try that.
Since you're so sure of the power of your god, what's stopping you making your own video and calling on your god or jeebuz to regrow/heal your arm? If you believe in the power of your god and jeebuz so much, here's your chance to prove it!
So what are you waiting for? 
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I'm really glad you brought this up, Rachael. God DOES test us with that very scenario. But God tells us to kill OTHER people, not ourselves. If you feel like hacking off your arm, that's SATAN talking to you, but if you hear a voice telling you to sacrifice your son, that's GOD! Usually He calls it off at the last minute and lets you kill a lamb instead, but you must be ready to demonstrate your faith at any time!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 10:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
I'm really glad you brought this up, Rachael. God DOES test us with that very scenario. But God tells us to kill OTHER people, not ourselves. If you feel like hacking off your arm, that's SATAN talking to you, but if you hear a voice telling you to sacrifice your son, that's GOD! Usually He calls it off at the last minute and lets you kill a lamb instead, but you must be ready to demonstrate your faith at any time!
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I see.
So basically, to you, your god is all about proving faith by killing other people, hurting other people. Real nice.
It sounds to me more like the HUMAN writers of the bible were much happier with the idea of advocating murder rather than take the risk of claiming that faith in your god could cause a severed limb to reattach.
Why am I not surprised?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 11:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Since you're so sure of the power of your god, what's stopping you making your own video and calling on your god or jeebuz to regrow/heal your arm? If you believe in the power of your god and jeebuz so much, here's your chance to prove it!
So what are you waiting for?
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Deuteronomy 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.
Does that answer your question, witch? If God wanted my arm cut off, He's more than capable of doing it Himself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I see.
So basically, to you, your god is all about proving faith by killing other people, hurting other people.
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What do you think He created other people for? It's not as though pagans or Mahommedans or Buddhists are good for anything else.
Quote:
It sounds to me more like the HUMAN writers of the bible were much happier with the idea of advocating murder rather than take the risk of claiming that faith in your god could cause a severed limb to reattach.
Why am I not surprised?
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Friend, read the Bible. He healed the blind and brought people back from the dead! It seems highly likely that, through His servant Benny Hinn, He may be doing the very same thing to this day (although, since Hinn does have some Pennycostal tendencies, he might just be spazzing out.) What more do you want?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 12:25 PM
And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said,
Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
Luke 4:12
It's God who tests us, Rachel, not the other way around. 
If one tempts Him to prove Himself by protecting one from harm when it is not needed -
Giving Him a choice to either inflict pain and suffering upon such a blasphemer, or actually give this unnecessary protection:
He will choose to hurt such a one, because He has COMMANDED that one is not to test Him, and He always punish those who disobeys Him.
That's simple logic.
Your stupid paganist "religion" doesn't have this commandment however, Rachel..
So what's YOUR excuse for not taking a sword to your throat?
Do you lack faith in your false gods all of a sudden?
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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God Squad
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 02:23 PM
What a CHI-too head!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 08:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I see.
So basically, to you, your god is all about proving faith by killing other people, hurting other people. Real nice. 
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Yes, of course! What would petting a kitten prove? You must be willing to kill your children and drive a nail through the head of someone who trusts you to qualify for Salvation™.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-03-2007, 11:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Deuteronomy 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.
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Bah. That translates into: 'Do not attempt what will disprove this silly book.'
Quote:
Does that answer your question, witch? If God wanted my arm cut off, He's more than capable of doing it Himself.
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Oh it answers the question alright, but not in the way you were intending.
Quote:
What do you think He created other people for? It's not as though pagans or Mahommedans or Buddhists are good for anything else.
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I won't even begin with what's wrong with that thought of yours....
Quote:
Friend, read the Bible. He healed the blind and brought people back from the dead! It seems highly likely that, through His servant Benny Hinn, He may be doing the very same thing to this day (although, since Hinn does have some Pennycostal tendencies, he might just be spazzing out.) What more do you want?
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Bah. To that crazy Benny Hinn, his universal 'cure for everything' is pushing people over.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sallyboy
It's God who tests us, Rachel, not the other way around. 
If one tempts Him to prove Himself by protecting one from harm when it is not needed -
Giving Him a choice to either inflict pain and suffering upon such a blasphemer, or actually give this unnecessary protection:
He will choose to hurt such a one, because He has COMMANDED that one is not to test Him, and He always punish those who disobeys Him.
That's simple logic.
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So you view pain and death as proof of your faith yet your faith doesn't stretch to ask to heal a dire wound? Doesn't it say in the bible that with faith one could move entire mountains? It does, yet you wouldn't test it on a mere wound?
Quote:
Your stupid paganist "religion" doesn't have this commandment however, Rachel..
So what's YOUR excuse for not taking a sword to your throat?
Do you lack faith in your false gods all of a sudden?
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Not at all, but I also don't lack common sense.
Quote:
Yes, of course! What would petting a kitten prove? You must be willing to kill your children and drive a nail through the head of someone who trusts you to qualify for Salvation™.
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Huh. Nice.
You know, people like you make me wonder, without the fear of 'hell' that's driven into you, would anyone even choose to follow your religion? Of course not, because it's barbaric and stupid, and those who do follow it are brainwashed by fear of 'hell'.
Your whole religion seems like a weird version of blackmail.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 05:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Huh. Nice.
You know, people like you make me wonder, without the fear of 'hell' that's driven into you, would anyone even choose to follow your religion? Of course not, because it's barbaric and stupid, and those who do follow it are brainwashed by fear of 'hell'.
Your whole religion seems like a weird version of blackmail.
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It isn't even close, but YOU have been warned, so start tithing or else! 
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
So you view pain and death as proof of your faith yet your faith doesn't stretch to ask to heal a dire wound? Doesn't it say in the bible that with faith one could move entire mountains? It does, yet you wouldn't test it on a mere wound?
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Yes, I wouldn't TEST it on a mere wound.
But if it was NEEDED I'd pray and the wound would heal, if God willed it.
There's the difference, and not even you can be that stupid as to not see it..
God isn't a tool, He is God. You don't use God, He uses you.
Quote:
Not at all, but I also don't lack common sense.
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So you have enough common sense to realize they can't really help you?
That makes me very glad. Mabye there is hope for you yet.
Quote:
Huh. Nice.
You know, people like you make me wonder, without the fear of 'hell' that's driven into you, would anyone even choose to follow your religion? Of course not, because it's barbaric and stupid, and those who do follow it are brainwashed by fear of 'hell'.
Your whole religion seems like a weird version of blackmail.
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And your whole "religion" seem like nothing but an attempt at empowering yourself..
You pray to your so-called gods for things, expecting to get them, yet you give nothing in return:
Nor do they make any demands on you, or ever excercise their power in any way except to reward the believers.. Yeah right. 
Such nonsense is either made up to make it's believers feel powerful, or it's simply demons leading you astray from Christ.
Probably both - It's made up by demons to make fools like you feel powerful while you willingly depart from the love of Jesus Christ.
Are you too blind to see this?
There is still hope for you, Rachel, reject your false gods and dead idols and worship the living God and His Son Jesus Christ.
For only HE can get you to Heaven.
REPENT!
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:45 PM
Somehow I doubt the truth of this thread.
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
Somehow I doubt the truth of this thread.
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Somehow I doubt you're capable of gathering enough wits to write anything else than stupid one-liners.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Posts: 111
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:53 PM
You know how that make sme giggle?
How you responded with a one-liner. Yes, stupid  reason to giggle.
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
You know how that make sme giggle?
How you responded with a one-liner. Yes, stupid  reason to giggle.
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Unless of course you can respond with some evidence to show the truth in this video?
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
You know how that make sme giggle?
How you responded with a one-liner. Yes, stupid  reason to giggle.
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What a great retort considering the fact that I'm known around here for my habit of making one-liner posts..
Silly child, write a real argument and maybe I'll give you more than 1 or 2 lines of my time.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 03:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker
What a great retort considering the fact that I'm known around here for my habit of making one-liner posts..
Silly child, write a real argument and maybe I'll give you more than 1 or 2 lines of my time.
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A real argument? Really, what would be the point. All you would do is either quote from that silly bible, or make up false claims.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 03:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I won't even begin with what's wrong with that thought of yours....
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Because there is NOTHING wrong with it!
Quote:
Not at all, but I also don't lack common sense.
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So what does your "common sense" lead you to believe about your false demon "gods"? They exist, but don't have the power to heal you? They have the power to heal you, but don't want to? Either way, worshipping them doesn't seem too sensible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
Somehow I doubt the truth of this thread.
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Did you watch that video?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
Unless of course you can respond with some evidence to show the truth in this video?
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What about your own eyes, you monumental idiot?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Re: Chinaman hacks off own arm to prove faith in demons -
10-04-2007, 03:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celtic
A real argument? Really, what would be the point. All you would do is either quote from that silly bible, or make up false claims.
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..Contrary to what you do now you mean? 
Yours is a cowards excuse if I've ever seen one.
If you have no real purpose here, and is only here to be a silly annoyance and a waste of Jesus bandwidth, then get thee hence.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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