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Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
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Default Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-24-2019, 05:22 PM

Heads up Brothers. Do you have son blessed with the Lord's given talent, you want to thrust up on stage for him to PRAISE HIS NAME in the highest? Here's your chance! Normally, we don't encourage sissy pursuits like theatre that can risk turning your kid gays, instead, we are encouraging them to participate in a tragic tale about the murder of our Lord Jesus Christ at the hands of filthy Jews, and their distasteful Jewish sway over the liberal media, and how President Trump will push back against their crooked slander!
(WARNING, for creative purposes, your son may or may not be selected to portray a character of Jewish persuasion on stage. Prosthetics including a Warlock nose, warts, curly sideburns, and Burberry glasses may be applied to complete the effect. YMCA is not responsible for injury, community shunning, death and/or eternal damnation. Audition at YOUR OWN RISK!)


Deadline: Thursday, June 13, 2019


TRINITY TALENT HOUSE is now accepting submissions for
JEWSIES
By Jim C. Lombardo
Directed by Rev. "Flash" Sid Polk

DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS: Thursday, June 13, 2019 - early submissions are encouraged.

Non-union (YMCA (Not the 80's homer dress-up group YMCA, or the pervert group for boys YMCA, but in fact, the Young Mouths Christians Artists talent association in conjunction with Landover's Got Talent)), Non-paying


SEEKING YMCA registered male actors Age 8 -12. Those contacted for auditions will be seen the week beginning June 17, with callbacks taking place at Jim's trailer the following week. Only those contacted for an audition will be seen.
Performance run: September 27-October 12, 2019
Please send headshots, resumes and disclosure fee to auditions@landovertrinitytalenthouse.com. Be sure to include JEWSIES SUBMISSION in your email subject line. WARNING: the show contains mature content, sexual scenes, partial nudity and some violent content.

Preference will be given to white applicants from well-to-do parents who disclose a confidential fee to Sister Dee Piranha before June 2.

AUDITION REQUIREMENTS: Actors are asked to prepare two contrasting songs (approximately 1-2 minutes). One song should be from the contemporary Gaither Vocal Band; the other should be Christian rock, and/or a lyrical selection from the Bible (Song of Solomon recommended!). At least one of the songs should showcase acting ability, and put a smile on at least one senior pastor. Actors are expected to bring sheet music for their song in the correct key. A capella auditions, or distinctively lisp-y performances are strongly discouraged. An accompanist on hire will be provided.
It is recommended that actors familiarize themselves with the characters and material in the play.

ABOUT THE PLAY: Smack your thick Semetic lips, gird your dreidels and tighten your kippah for JEWSIES – an energetic, exciting musical with unforgettable characters and steamyfunny musical numbers. This vaguely-Hitleresque salute to supple young newsboys and Zionist liberal media outlets will tempt you to fly to New York and burn down the New York Times headquarters! Let our budding little stars seduce you with “Watch What Happens (When We Listen to Noisy Female Broad-casters)” and leave you howling with laughter over Bernie Sander's flaccid attempts to usurp Trump in, “Feel the Burn”!
ABOUT THE THEATRE: Since 1919, Trinity Talent House has engaged a broad array of Christian communities in the passion, vibrancy and immediacy of Godly theatrical performance as artists, praisers, volunteers and congregation members.
Through Christ-approved artistic partnerships that enhance worship, tradition and anti-persecution, TTH focuses on the development, training and showcase of youth and emerging artists seeking to create innovative opportunities for expression and exploration. It also facilitates audience engagement with shows and programs that inspire thought, laughter and joyous applause.

Posted by: TRINITY TALENT HOUSE in proud conjunction with LANDOVER'S GOT TALENT**A collection plate will float at the beginning and end, and intermission of each performance. Donate generously, or Jesus will get you!
For more information: PM Me!
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-24-2019, 08:52 PM

I am unfortunately just a young female so I can’t act as I’m not what you’re looking for Mister Jim. I would be happy to help out with the costume design though. Look at my Jew mask that I made for my social studies class from when I was in the 7th grade! I can surely make the Jews look “authentic”.



Sorry my tiny female inferior brain can’t figure out how to resize the image.


My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).
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Grammar Nazi Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-26-2019, 03:05 AM

That Jew is absolutely terrifying, Miss Levantine. The "chosen people" certainly weren't chosen for their looks, that's for sure! The juden are so ugly inside that it is reflected in the outside. This is probably because Jesus cursed them for killing him (Matthew 27:25). If you need more artistic inspiration, here's a photograph of the Israeli Cabinet:



"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-26-2019, 01:13 PM

Since my daughter Esther knows better than to post in a forum for men only without my permission, I'd like to offer up her sewing services for any costumes that you'll need, Mr. Lombardo. If there is any doubt about her sewing abilities, I would like to point out that she made the black leather jacket and pants that Brother Larry wears when he brings members of the gray community to God.
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JamesH.B JamesH.B is offline
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-26-2019, 05:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
Since my daughter Esther knows better than to post in a forum for men only without my permission, I'd like to offer up her sewing services for any costumes that you'll need, Mr. Lombardo. If there is any doubt about her sewing abilities, I would like to point out that she made the black leather jacket and pants that Brother Larry wears when he brings members of the gray community to God.
What an embarrassing typo! I meant to say "the gay community". I look forward to hearing from you, Mr. Lombardo. If you don't require Esther's services, I do hope that you will post pictures of the show.
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Cross Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-26-2019, 05:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
I would like to point out that she made the black leather jacket and pants that Brother Larry wears when he brings members of the gray community to God.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesH.B View Post
What an embarrassing typo! I meant to say "the gay community".
For a minute there, I thought you were claiming that Brother Larry witnesses to extraterrestrials.




"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Scoutman03 (On Moderation) Scoutman03 is offline
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-27-2019, 02:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
That Jew is absolutely terrifying, Miss Levantine. The "chosen people" certainly weren't chosen for their looks, that's for sure! The juden are so ugly inside that it is reflected in the outside. This is probably because Jesus cursed them for killing him (Matthew 27:25). If you need more artistic inspiration, here's a photograph of the Israeli Cabinet:

That's the dwarf bank employees from Harry Potter. LMAO.
nein. This is a jew:
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Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-27-2019, 03:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoutman03 View Post
That's the dwarf bank employees from Harry Potter. LMAO.
So, hook-nosed little goblins who practice witchcraft and control global finances? Still sounds like we're talking about Jews.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoutman03 View Post
This is a jew:


"No room for them in the inn" (Luke 2:7)?
Not if they'd come to the Blood of Christ Motel!
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Default Re: Casting Call - "Jewsies" - Young Mouths Christian Artists (YMCA) WANTED NOW! - 05-27-2019, 03:43 AM

I nearly had a stroke when I scrolled past that giant Jew. Serves me right for looking in the men's section. Oh, I wish I had a husband again to smack me back to my senses.
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