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Default New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 01:05 AM

Ladies,

First of all, Mr Holly has instructed me to dye my hair brown. He decided that my blonde hair, although natural, made me look too whorish, and he thinks a mother of 18 should be a brunette, like the Godly Quiverfull woman, Michelle Duggar. (Ephesians 5:22)

That being said, I would like to announce that God has blessed my womb with another one of his children! This will make.. NINETEEN for us!!! We will actually be tied with the Duggars!!!! I couldn't be happier. We plan on sharing the news with the other children after prayer study, and any discipline sessions tonight.

Praise be to God, who chose my uterus as His vessel of procreation. The doctor said it may be a little prolapsed after my last babies, but if God sees it necessary to bless me with another pregnancy, so be it! GOD IS SO GOOD! (Genesis 3:16)

Please pray for a boy!!
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 03:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holly Graham View Post
Ladies,

First of all, Mr Holly has instructed me to dye my hair brown. He decided that my blonde hair, although natural, made me look too whorish, and he thinks a mother of 18 should be a brunette, like the Godly Quiverfull woman, Michelle Duggar. (Ephesians 5:22)

That being said, I would like to announce that God has blessed my womb with another one of his children! This will make.. NINETEEN for us!!! We will actually be tied with the Duggars!!!! I couldn't be happier. We plan on sharing the news with the other children after prayer study, and any discipline sessions tonight.

Praise be to God, who chose my uterus as His vessel of procreation. The doctor said it may be a little prolapsed after my last babies, but if God sees it necessary to bless me with another pregnancy, so be it! GOD IS SO GOOD! (Genesis 3:16)

Please pray for a boy!!
Dear Mrs. Holly,

Congratulations on both your dye job and your growing seed. Mrs. Penitent and I are so happy for you and your ever growing Christian Family!

I must go now. Mrs. Penitent has already begun a prayer session for Mr. Holly, you and your future son (God Willing), and I don't want to miss one single prayer!

YIC


2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 03:56 AM

Congratulations Mrs. Graham! I shall pray your little baby is normal, and not a mongoloid like the Duggar's last one.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 06:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holly Graham View Post
Ladies,

First of all, Mr Holly has instructed me to dye my hair brown. He decided that my blonde hair, although natural, made me look too whorish, and he thinks a mother of 18 should be a brunette, like the Godly Quiverfull woman, Michelle Duggar. (Ephesians 5:22)

That being said, I would like to announce that God has blessed my womb with another one of his children! This will make.. NINETEEN for us!!! We will actually be tied with the Duggars!!!! I couldn't be happier. We plan on sharing the news with the other children after prayer study, and any discipline sessions tonight.

Praise be to God, who chose my uterus as His vessel of procreation. The doctor said it may be a little prolapsed after my last babies, but if God sees it necessary to bless me with another pregnancy, so be it! GOD IS SO GOOD! (Genesis 3:16)

Please pray for a boy!!
Congrats, Mrs. Holly! I cannot wait for you to be tied (and even get more children) than the Duggars, I will definatly be praying for a boy for you!
All the best and God bless you,
Mary Thompson.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 10:10 AM

My congratulations to your husband for the new soldier for Christ that is on the way. I have no doubt it will be a son.

And my condolences to your husband for having sex with you 19 times. I am impressed by his willingness to suffer for Jesus. Your new hair will probably reduce your poor husband's suffering.


CANCER is a state of mind! Time to stop ALL healthcare!!!
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-09-2013, 10:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sammy The Penitent View Post
Dear Mrs. Holly,
Mrs. Penitent has already begun a prayer session for Mr. Holly, you and your future son (God Willing), and I don't want to miss one single prayer!
Thank you Brother Sammy. While you're praying, could you maybe also ask for me to be carrying twins, so I can surpass Sister Michelle Duggar, or do you think that would be greedy of me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Congratulations Mrs. Graham! I shall pray your little baby is normal, and not a mongoloid like the Duggar's last one.

Oh, Sweet Jesus, yes. Of course Michelle's mistake was delivering the baby before God was ready. I would never do that!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
Congrats, Mrs. Holly! I cannot wait for you to be tied (and even get more children) than the Duggars, I will definatly be praying for a boy for you!
All the best and God bless you,
Mary Thompson.
Thank you Sister Mary!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
My congratulations to your husband for the new soldier for Christ that is on the way. I have no doubt it will be a son.

And my condolences to your husband for having sex with you 19 times. I am impressed by his willingness to suffer for Jesus. Your new hair will probably reduce your poor husband's suffering.
Yes, Brother COM, he hates the deed, but alas, he perseveres. He is such a Man of God.

Thank you, friends!
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-10-2013, 12:24 AM

Dear Sister Holly,

Mrs. Penitent and I are hosting a prayer session this evening to pray that you may spit out one, two or even three Healthy Soldiers of Christ!

Greedy? Not in the least. Mrs. Duggar is a fine Christian Woman who breeds to ensure the future of Christianity. I pray that she reaches 20...25 healthy young sons!

May God Bless you and Mr. Holly with the same fertile gift!

Greedy? No. Your contribution to a Pure Christian America is pivotal to creating a God Fearing United States where God Fearing White Christians overcome this Obama-Gay-Socialist-Agenda that we are suffering through now.

Bless You Sister Holly,

YIC


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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-23-2013, 04:05 AM

Please Heavenly Jesus, forgive this poor sinner, who is jealous of Mrs. Holly's fruitful womb.

Whilst reading this thread I committed the sin of covetousness.

I am just 53 and still pray several times a day for the Lord to open my uterus. Just once?


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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-23-2013, 06:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitchen Keepin View Post
Please Heavenly Jesus, forgive this poor sinner, who is jealous of Mrs. Holly's fruitful womb.

Whilst reading this thread I committed the sin of covetousness.

I am just 53 and still pray several times a day for the Lord to open my uterus. Just once?
I thought I'd let you know that I'll pray that Jesus to open your uterus tonight, Mrs. Kitchen Keepin


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 05-28-2013, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitchen Keepin View Post
Please Heavenly Jesus, forgive this poor sinner, who is jealous of Mrs. Holly's fruitful womb.

Whilst reading this thread I committed the sin of covetousness.

I am just 53 and still pray several times a day for the Lord to open my uterus. Just once?
Dear Mrs. Keepin,

Only God knows why you are as barren as the desert. But He gives hope:
Luke 1:36 And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.

As far as your covetousness goes, ya better start praying really hard 'cause that's up there with some pretty nasty stuff...Good luck with that one.
Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

Regarding Mrs. Holly; I'm sure that (wherever the heck she is) she understands.

YIC


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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-01-2013, 03:05 PM

Thank you for your prayers, brothers and sisters. I have spent hours on my knees and feel much better now.




but still no fruit in my womb. At least the floors are really clean.


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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-01-2013, 03:16 PM

I only had four and that was a lot of work.

You must have some sons already by now? I would be thankful to God regardless of gender. Without women, who would give birth to the men?

Congratulations to you and your family. How old is the oldest of your children? Do you have any grandchildren yet?


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But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-01-2013, 04:22 PM

Dear Sister's August, Kitchen Keeping, Mary and Etherelda...

I am a man and am somewhat ignorant on these subjects. I make love to my wife through a hole cut out in a sheet. Please tell me; does your body still hold it's form... or do you look like a 20 year old treadmill?

Yours in Christ

Deaner
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-01-2013, 10:33 PM

It depends on whether you pray or not, or if you obey the entire bible or not. If your wife does these things and becomes pregnant, her looks shouldn't be ruined and it should stay like that even after the childbirth.
YIC
Mary Thompson


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-01-2013, 11:10 PM

Quote:
It depends on whether you pray or not, or if you obey the entire bible or not.
If? If?

Brother Deaner, I'm so sorry you had to read this. A warning has been issued and I hope your feelings have not been hurt too much

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Mary Thompson Mary Thompson is offline
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-02-2013, 12:04 AM

Oh my, I am deeply sorry for the hurtful thing I said and I regret it deeply, I pray that you and Jesus forgive me.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: New Hair & Baby News! - 06-02-2013, 06:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
If? If?

Brother Deaner, I'm so sorry you had to read this. A warning has been issued and I hope your feelings have not been hurt too much
Brother Niles; thank you for defending me. This is an obvious misunderstanding. I've prayed to Christ that you be saved from hell. I can hear angels chirping in my ears as I type. Thank you my friend.

YIC

Deaner

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Thompson View Post
Oh my, I am deeply sorry for the hurtful thing I said and I regret it deeply, I pray that you and Jesus forgive me.
Dear Sister Mary; please understand I meant no harm. It is quite obvious you are a Sister in Christ. My question was sincere and perhaps I worded it incorrectly. It's just that my wife (after five children) looks like a used NASCAR tire. My apologies are due to you. Please forgive me; I will try to be more sensitive next time we converse.

YIC

Deaner
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