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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it

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Smile "The Bitcher Scale" helps us predict tomorrows controversies TODAY! - 12-18-2013, 02:40 PM

True Christians(™) pride ourselves on always being a few years ahead of the conservative tide. Years ago one of us made a list of things we proposed that have since become mainstream republican policy and we could make a much longer list today. I'd also like to see us make a list of predictions but I've not seen any analytical model for understanding how political debates change over time.

Then I found a model that does just that. However, it's written by a liberal, so reading it means having to slog through some typical liberal garbage. You know, like vulgarity, indecision, pictures of public hair, acts of vile darkness that would shock the love-child of Hitler and Hannibal Lector, that sort of thing.

But I'm finding it useful, so I'll just leave you with a warning and post it.


As the quote goes: "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
Then it gets trashed by liberals because "it was written by a dead white guy, so it's eeeevil!"

Conservative whining follows a cyclical pattern, by observing their current talking points we can measure how much progress has been made on various issues, and predict what future debates will be about.
By "progress" they mean "progress towards sharia law, and turning the American flag into g@otse image, and replacing the national anthem with the music from 2 girls 1 cup, and putting a black mexican baby in every daughter's womb etc."

Because the data source is people bitching, I first called it "The Bitcher Scale". (You know, like the Richter Scale, only having nothing in common with it.)
Just as well, the liberal-bias Richter scale fails because it measure the energy God expends while sending earthquakes to kill sinners. But it doesn't matter how much God sweats, what matters is how many sinners are sent to hell. SO why bring up the Richter scale? Oh right, so your brain-of-a-2-year old can say dirty words. Potty mouth.

Then I realized it has more in common with the Stages Of Grief, only instead of normal people grieving a death, it's conservatives grieving over the world becoming a better place. So an alternate name is the "Conservative Stages Of Grief".
I think liberals are so indecisive because they over think things. The key to success is to think as little as possible. I bet I could prove it too, but that would mean more thinking.

Progress = trading big problems for small ones

First, understand that each problem is a solution to an earlier, bigger problem. Progress consists of trading bigger problems for smaller problems.

How the number works

Each generation of problem is the whole number, while the stage of arguments on the subject is the decimal. 1.1 is always a caveman.

That probably didn't make any sense...

* .1: Out of context problem: Conservatives don't understand the concept. Because they have no argument here, I'll just use this spot to state what the problem is.
* .2: Denial: Conservatives understand the concept, deny there's a problem.
* .3: Misrepresenting solutions: Conservatives don't talk about the problem, when pressed they minimize it, claim people who want to solve it want to go back to the previous problem.
* .4: Delaying tactics: Conservatives don't talk about the problem, when pressed they change the subject or blame progressives.
* .5: Scapegoating: Conservatives talk about the problem all the time, using it to bash progressives, while doing nothing to solve the problem.
* .6: Distraction: Conservatives talk about the problem all the time, using it to bash progressives while proposing something that will either make the problem worse, or replace the problem with a worse problem
* .7: The problem is solved, that is, a bigger problem has been replaced with a smaller problem
* .8: Backlash: Conservatives and nit-picking leftists hold up the new problem as "proof of liberal failures", imply that it's worse than the problem it replaced. Conservatives attempt to return to old problem. Leftists idolize foreign conservatives with the old problem, often back many generations with the furthest extreme being primitivists. This will be used by conservatives at the next stage .3.
* .9: Historical revisionism: Conservatives claim progressives who solved said problem were actually conservatives.
Here's the stages of liberal moon battery:

1. Be a babykilling America-hating elitist-judeofascist sodomite.
2. Keep being a babykilling America-hating elitist-judeofascist sodomite.
3. Keep on being a babykilling America-hating elitist-judeofascist sodomite.
4. Keep on keeping on being a babykilling America-hating elitist-judeofascist sodomite.
5. Keep -well you get the point.

Small Example: Energy Sources

Generations of energy sources:

* 1.0: Nothing. Shivering for warmth, eating raw meat.
* 2.0: Firewood. Cutting down forests and choking on smoke.
* 3.0: Coal
* 4.0: Oil
* 5.0: Early nuclear energy
* 6.0: Next-generation nuclear energy, renewable energy
* 7.0: ???

Notice that each generation of the technology is imperfect, yet better than what came before.

* 4.1: Coal and Oil are the main sources of energy.
* 4.2: Denial: "Coal smoke is good for your health" An entire book on this (On a cold day: "So much for global warming!")
* 4.3: Misrepresenting solutions: "Oh, you don't like oil, so you want to go back to the horse-and-buggy era?"
* 4.4: Delaying tactics: Greenwashing. "There's no consensus on climate change".
* 4.5: Scapegoating: They don't talk about this issue enough to be at this stage yet. Election season snipe-and-forget. Occasional accusations that environmentalists don't practise what they preach.

So, our energy source debate is "4.3 to 4.4 on the Bitcher Scale", or we can say "Conservative Grieving over energy progress is at Stage 4.3 to 4.4" with some Peak Oil survivalists at 4.6, blaming the New Deal Era progressives for building highways/the suburbs, and proposing we retool for the horse and buggy era.

What can we predict from this model? Perhaps next the Republicans will flesh out 4.5 by saying climate change is God's revenge for (insert scapegoat of the day). Pat Robertson has already done this with a hurricane or two.
Okay, are you seeing how this model is actually useful? Because we've been pointing out the homofacism-climate connection for YEARS now. Pat Robertson is only tentatively following our footsteps.

And, now I can start thinking about our next job, getting to 4.8, the Backlash. "Remember the good old days, when we didn't have those tacky windmills all over the place, when we had proudly belching smokestacks instead of things that look like lawn ornaments on some trailor-trash's astroturf?

Full Example: black-white race relations in the USA

* 1.1: Slavery
* 1.2: Denial:"Sambo" stereotypes
* 1.3: Misrepresenting solutions: "You're better off here than in Africa"
* 1.4: Delaying tactics: "Abolitionists are making the slaves discontented".
* 1.5: Scapegoating: Lead up to the War Between The States, paranoia about abolitionists arming blacks and promoting slave rebellions
* .6: Distraction: "Compromises" such as the Crittenden Compromise proposed.
* 1.7: Emancipation. Blacks trade slavery for second-class citizenship, lynchings, Jim Crow.
* 1.8: Backlash: Myth of the old south.
* 1.9: Historical revisionism: "We're the Party Of Lincoln".

Generation 2:

* 2.1: Second-class citizenship.
* 2.2: Denial: "Sambo" stereotypes
* 2.3: Misrepresenting solutions: "You're better off here than in Africa"
* 2.4: Delaying tactics: "Martin Luther King is a Communist, spreading division by making the blacks discontented"
* 2.5: Scapegoating: White flight
* 2.6: Distraction: War on drugs
* 2.7: Civil rights act, war on poverty
* 2.8: Backlash: "War on poverty is a failure. Welfare queens. Spoiling them has made the blacks discontented".
* 2.9: Historical revisionism: "Martin Luther King was a conservative", Meanwhile GOP voter suppression, an attempt to return to the old problem, is a reversion to stage 2.8.

Generation 3:

* 3.1: Era of subtle disadvantages
* 3.2: Denial: "You have a black president, obviously there can't be a problem". (Have white people had no problems ever since the first white president? Of course not.)
* 3.3: Misrepresenting solutions: ""Anti-racism is a code-word for anti-white. Politically-correct thought police. Reverse racism".
* 3.4: Delaying tactics: "Identity politics are divisive, making the blacks discontented".
* 3.5: Scapegoating: Survivialism, "race war" paranoia, "Obama's ACORN thugs" etc.
* 3.6: Distraction: "Vote Republican, Michael Steele is off da hook, homie!" - They never got serious about this, but they'll give it another try if the Bitcher Scale has predictive value.
I guess this went to press before he heard about the republican who won an election by photoshopping himself black.

I wonder what we'll do about 3.8. I guess gansta-rap will become the next "oldies", and we'll talk about how much more fun blacks had as welfare thugs in the wild, rather than in respectable middle-class captivity.
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blackie, debate, denial, historical revisionsim, negrofascism, nuklear, oil, plagerism, prediction, progress, race, scapegoat, slavery, talking points

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