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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-22-2007, 03:13 AM

Blechhhh.
If you do, I only hope it's Bobby Joe or Brother Temperance who opens the package.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-22-2007, 03:19 AM

i wont even clean off the drool
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-22-2007, 04:49 AM

snicker, snicker....chastity belts...blow up dolls...drooolll....I guess the LARD really DOES work in "mysterious" ways........


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Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-22-2007, 09:07 PM

Do you, in all seriousness, wear that belt?
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-23-2007, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Do you, in all seriousness, wear that belt?
Are you calling me a liar? I'm a former nun, and when I was under the evil papist spell in the convent, we performed many unnatural perversions. I have Jesus on my side now and so I stay away from such horrors, but it never hurts to have an aid to my will power.

1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-23-2007, 02:22 AM

I wasn't calling you a liar, forgive me if you felt that way, it just looks so uncomfortable. I bet you get some interesting looks in public (not meant in a bad way).
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-23-2007, 04:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
I wasn't calling you a liar, forgive me if you felt that way, it just looks so uncomfortable. I bet you get some interesting looks in public (not meant in a bad way).
A woman doesn't wear a chasitity belt for comfort! She wears it to protect herself from rape and to help curb the wanton thoughts she is prone to have.

Interesting looks in public? How so, it isn't like she goes around showing it off. Proper Christian ladies' clothing hides chastity belts quite well. Just looking at a lady in a chastity belt you can't tell she's wearing one.


The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-23-2007, 05:53 AM

Thank you, Brother. The shame of talking with strange men about what I wear down there is getting to be too much.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-23-2007, 12:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
A woman doesn't wear a chasitity belt for comfort! She wears it to protect herself from rape and to help curb the wanton thoughts she is prone to have.

Interesting looks in public? How so, it isn't like she goes around showing it off. Proper Christian ladies' clothing hides chastity belts quite well. Just looking at a lady in a chastity belt you can't tell she's wearing one.
For example our very feminine First Lady, Mrs. George W. Bush. You can't tell from looking at her that she is wearing one.


"Bras are often too formal for daytime. Instead, I simply tuck my breasts into the elastic waistband of my Dress Barn skirt (to keep them from giving me a black eye when I gallop through the West Wing). In case the French Embassy has its air-conditioning set too high, I complete the outfit by slinging a white, terrycloth Marriott bathrobe over my arm."
--Laura


Of course hers is a bit more high-tech. It was designed by the Secret Service and the DOF, after all.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 01-24-2007, 07:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

Of course hers is a bit more high-tech. It was designed by the Secret Service and the DOF, after all.
For which we must be very grateful. Can you imagine the terror and confusion that would spread across America if Al-Qaida were to find some way of tampering with the most important and revered ladyparts in the land? Truly, it doesn't bear thinking about.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 04-08-2007, 03:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Certainly, Sister Tali!

As you well know, witnessing is hard work. At times, things can get intensely hands-on, as we slowly work over a sinner, probing deeply into his psyche, thrusting the Truth into his sin-addled mind, until the sinner finally comes (often with convulsions, shouts, and grunts!) to Jesus and prays to be filled with His Love!

Now, sometimes bodily force is required; you see, demons within the sinner often try to force him to run from the Truth!

Holding a sinner spread-eagled over the hood of a car in midwinter, well, sometimes one loses a glove. Therefore, applying a little Vaseline prior to witnessing helps avoid problems like chafing or cracking of the hands, which could distract a Brother or Pastor from witnessing as thoroughly or deeply as a sinner might require.
*grin*
Glad to see that the Men of the Church are doing such a fine job...witnessing.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 04-09-2007, 03:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MapesInmate View Post
*grin*
Glad to see that the Men of the Church are doing such a fine job...witnessing.
I'm glad to see you're finally realizing how diligently we work to share the Truth of our Lord.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 06-01-2011, 11:19 PM

Do you guys really think that what you just comented is appropriate? First of all we are all part of a society with rules, like Human Rights. Among others, in these Human Rights rules clearly states that domestic violence it`s against the law & that men and women are equals, therefore I don`t see a reason why women should be treated like you guys do (see the back of your hands, be isolated when they menstruate, etc.). Furthermore, cooking and cleaning are not necesarily female duties. As we all know, for example, some of the best chefs nowadays are men. As for the chastity belt, it can`t be considered a good thing. If a man or a woman truly wants to prove his/hers love for Jesus, they`ll be able to control themselves (in every possible way). Looking at things differently, if a woman would want a taste of the pleasures of the flesh, even wearing a chastity belt, she can do that by performing oral or anal acts. Same principles can apply for men aswell. However, I don`t know how many of you know, but sexual pleasure can be achieved regardless of the sexual organs men & women have. I`m talking about tantra which doesn`t involve physical contact, just mental stimulation. In other words, LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST!!!

This is all I have to say so far, may Jesus bless you all, brothers and sisters.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 06-01-2011, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadow_dog View Post
bla bla bla
IT'S ALL IN THE HOLY BIBLE !!!

Sjeesh, did they forget to close the door of the madhouse?


5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 06-02-2011, 12:58 AM

Did you deliberately search for a thread about chastity belts, or are you trying to embarrass me by digging up a thread that's been dead for four years detailing a problem I haven't had for some time? I'm a married woman now and have a beautify, darling young son (and his sister)!!!


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 08-23-2011, 02:36 PM

Is there any man who wears (male-) chastity belt device ?
Should men wear ?


Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 08-23-2011, 02:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul the gypsy scum View Post
Is there any man who wears (male-) chastity belt device ?
Should men wear ?
I'm sure one of those gimp fetish stores will help you on your quest for Hell.

Why would any man want to wear some device? If all the women around him have been properly secured then there's no need to pay them any heed.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 08-23-2011, 03:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
I'm sure one of those gimp fetish stores will help you on your quest for Hell.

Why would any man want to wear some device? If all the women around him have been properly secured then there's no need to pay them any heed.
You are right.
But the chastity belt can protect the male genitals from own hands.
I think, masturbating is greater sin than wearing chastity belt.
Not every parent teaches their child for dangers of self-touch.
And if someone has problem with Addiction, the belt is great help, I think.


Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 08-23-2011, 03:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul the gypsy scum View Post
You are right.
But the chastity belt can protect the male genitals from own hands.
I think, masturbating is greater sin than wearing chastity belt.
Not every parent teaches their child for dangers of self-touch.
And if someone has problem with Addiction, the belt is great help, I think.
At lest two pharmacy's in Freehold sell the Paul Buster - the Thorn in the Flesh anti self pollution device.

Alternatively, have you considered self castration?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: My chastity belt is chafing! - 08-23-2011, 06:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
At lest two pharmacy's in Freehold sell the Paul Buster - the Thorn in the Flesh anti self pollution device.

Alternatively, have you considered self castration?
Brother BJ, I've been advising this degenerate to become a eunuch for Christ for weeks now, but it hasn't got the guts. Which is unusual for a gypsy, right?

Quote:
Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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