[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by NBC Washington

The incident began at about 2:30 p.m. at the White House gates at 15th and E streets NW. Police say Carey had attempted to ram guarded gates outside the White House, then fled the scene.

Video submitted to NBC Washington by AlhurraTV shows the woman's car surrounded by officers with their guns drawn in Garfield Circle, just outside the Capitol. Carey bashes into a barricade, backs up, and then drives away. At one point, she struck a uniformed Secret Service division officer outside the guarded gates.

Carey then led Secret Service and Capitol Police on a chase to 2nd Street and Maryland Avenue NE, where she crashed into another barricade, sources told NBC Washington's Jackie Bensen.

Initial reports said Carey had exited her vehicle and fired shots -- sources now tell News4 Carey was not armed and did not fire any shots. D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier said Capitol Police and Secret Service fired their weapons.

Carey was shot and killed at the scene.

Miriah Carey, 1969-2013

She even had an anchor baby with her, must have been illegitimate because I hadn't heard of her having children until now:

News4 confirmed an 18-month-old infant was in Carey's car at the time, and is expected to be okay.

Us taxpayers who will have to raise the little taco-muncher aren't okay though.

Why was she even allowed to have a car? Despite a history of mental illness, she was able to buy a car with no cooling-down period, and this is the result.

Originally Posted by wickedpedia

Before the release of her first feature film Glitter (2001), she suffered a physical and emotional breakdown and was hospitalized for severe exhaustion.

She should have been denied a car based on her terrorist ancestors alone, being from the same country as Huga Chavez, and the IRA:

Her father, Alfred Roy, was of African American and Venezuelan (including Afro-Venezuelan) descent, while her mother, Patricia (née Hickey), is of white Irish descent.

NBC Washington claims that she wasn't working for Hugo Chavez:

Originally Posted by NBC Washington

However, Carey's motives remain unknown. The incident appeared to be isolated and was not related to terrorism, said U.S. Capitol Police Chief Kim Dine.

Right let's trust a guy who's related to NORTH KOREANS to tell us who's a terrorist and who's not. Heck, I just remembered that in Asia first names are family names (Asians insist on doing everything backwards, just to be contrarians) which means he's RELATED TO KIM JONG IL!

Anyone who can't see Mariah Carey's terrorist connection has been going by her recent, whiter appearances. Like Michael Jackson, she started out in a swarthier, more terrorist demographic:

Before Hugo Chavez got his make-up crew to work on her.
Now with a Real American complexion, she is ready for infiltration.

Friends, please pray that she repented and accepted Jesus at some point during the hail of gunfire that turned her angelic vocal chords and powerhouse lungs into so much blood-dripping gumbo. And check through your children's music collections to ensure they don't have any Mariah Carey records, or any other Hugo Chavez propaganda.

[Mistress Cookie]

You know, I've never admitted this to anyone (though my neighbors might suspect it), but I sing her gospel song "Can't Live (If Livin' Is Without You)" in the shower on Sundays, before church.

And I dedicate it week after week to our Lord™.

I guess God™ put her here to sing that one uplifting song to Him, and now that the record's out and has fallen off the charts, He doesn't really need her here any more.

Oh well...I've still got the record anyway! I swear I can play that song (for God™, of course) twenty times in a row....and have!

Golly I love that Old Time Religion song!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie

You know, I've never admitted this to anyone

Actually, I heard it through the prayer request grapevine a long time ago. I prayed for your soul over this many times.

Can I share my faith with you?

You see, that song was written by a group who's name - Badfinger - should tell you all you need to know. They were accomplices of John "bigger than Jesus" Lennon, and in an example of how songs influence people, one of them self-murdered, and then the other decided he "can't live with you" and self-murdered also.

I'm sure they have a long list of other sins, I'm just focusing on the ones that are related to the song.

So, by singing that song, Mariah Carey has - bless her soul - condemned her soul to eternal torture in Hell. And, while I'm not racist, I've heard that the mulatto part of hell is especially bad. You don't want to end up there.

If this sounds too harsh, remember I'm forgiven, not perfect. I'm just speaking the truth in love. Any other vile sins you've committed for me to pray for you about?

EDIT: I'm getting emails from people who claim that Mariah is alive and that there's a case of mistaken identity going on. Listen up everyone: when I say something, I'm always 110% CERTAIN and I DO NOT FLIP-FLOP. That means MARIAH CAREY IS DEAD!

I SAID IT,
I BELIEVE IT,
THAT SETTLES IT!

[Jedediah]

I knew she was dangerous. You should never turn your back for a second on the products of racial mongrelization. At least no Christians were hurt.

[Alvin Moss]

Well, it turned out to be a different Carey, but it could easily have been her cousin Mariah.

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond

You see, that song was written by a group who's name - Badfinger - should tell you all you need to know. They were accomplices of John "bigger than Jesus" Lennon, and in an example of how songs influence people, one of them self-murdered, and then the other decided he "can't live with you" and self-murdered also...

Wait. Can we back up a sec?

In the song, (and I know it all too well) she says over and over "I"....."I did this" / "I did that" / "I can't forget the feeling..." etc. etc. She purports in this song it's stuff SHE'S PERSONALLY going through!

But you're saying, she didn't actually write it? You're saying (?) that what she's saying she did, she never did? She is LYING?? Deliberately LYING to the public to MAKE MONEY??

I don't understand this. She says in the song "I...I...I..." ! ! ! And she sounds so confessional and genuine.

Who would do something like that??

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Wait, didn't she die of a crack party awhile back?