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  • Horrifying Advertisers

    Pastors -

    I clicked one of the advertisements on this page, for "southlakechurch.com". Imagine my horror! My comments are in RED.

    About Us
    If you're like me, at some point you gave up on traditional church and religion. I had come to expect church to be unneccessary and religion to be irrelevant to my daily life.

    At SouthLake you'll find great music, an informal friendly atmosphere and real life messages that make sense throughout the week. How lovely, for an evening at the social club. I thought this was a church?

    For most of us, we've found there is a big difference between religion and a relationship with God. Jesus Christ did not come to start a religion. (Religion emphasizes rituals, rules and regulations.) Jesus came to invite us to a living, personal relationship! I don't recall seeing this in the Bible, do you, Pastors? It seems to me Jesus was here to emphasize the Law and replace animal sacrifices, much to the pleasure of PETA.

    Many of us are new to the church. Including Pastor Kip, I'd wager. Hasn't read his Bible yet! I think you'll agree with us that this is a warm and welcoming place, a great place to get involved and discover God's love and purpose for your life. Apparently, the Bible has no place in this "church".
    Welcome!
    Pastor Kip
    MISSION STATEMENT: God's grace compels us to grow together in sharing the transforming love of Jesus Christ.

    Some Observations about our Mission Statement:

    1. It begins and ends with God, giving glory and honor to Him. In fact, our mission statement implicitly acknowledges the Trinity: God, the Father (beginning); God, the Son (end); God, the Holy Spirit (middle).Is GOD some sort of TIMELINE, now? This implies that God and the Holy Spirit are no more, and Jesus has taken over!

    2. It expresses our dependence upon God's grace and love. It's God's grace that motivates us to continue the earthly ministry of Jesus Christ in all its fullness. It's His love that defines what this looks like as we are gathering, growing, giving and going.How do they know God, except through the Bible? (Which is not mentioned on the site!!)

    3. "Grow together" implies both vertical and horizontal relationship. Horizontal relationship?! When we say, "grow together", we mean growing closer to God and to others in Christ Jesus. Both are essential.

    4. "Sharing" is also a double movement. This is sounding more and more pornographic. The healthy Christian shares God's transforming love with both believers and those who have yet to know Him.

    5. It reveals our expectation of life-transformation for every believer. We grow when we give away God's transforming love. Believers grow more in every way like Christ and the lives of unbelievers are changes as they experience God's love through human hands. And other parts, judging from 3 and 4 above!(2 Cor. 3:18)

  • #2
    Re: Horrifying Advertisers

    Wow. Sounds like they really *love* jesus. And when I say *love* I mean that they are seeking both a vertical and horizontal relationship! *snicker*
    sigpic
    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Horrifying Advertisers

      I don't understand how it's even legal for such a bastardization to call itself a "church". No King James Bibles? What do they do each Sunday, stand around wondering what to believe this week?
      "What do you want to believe?"
      "I dunno, what do you want to believe?"
      It's shameful, and it's a dirty shame the liberal courts are tying our Godly President's hands when he surely wants to punish these sinners for false advertising.
      Posted via Prayer

      1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
      Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

      Blogging for CHRIST!
      Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
      All a-Twitter for Salvation!
      Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
      On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
      My Ladies of Landover profile!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Horrifying Advertisers

        More namby-pamby "God is love" Liberal Christians.

        They probably don't even believe in a literal hell! When will these sissy Clintonista Christians get a clue and realize that Jesus was an ass-kicking warrior?
        Bush/Halliburton '08-Rapture!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Horrifying Advertisers

          Three totally inappropriate ads posted on our Godly site!

          Apparently, they think this is a Mary-worshipping, ring-kissing, altar-boy-sodomizing Cathoholic Church site!!
          Attached Files

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Horrifying Advertisers

            I clicked on this one - http://www.oneinmessiah.net/ - and was shocked to find that it was full of joos who claim to have accepted Jesus as the Savior. Okay, I'm open-minded. Maybe they are full of remorse over their people's crimes and truly want to repent. But the more I read, angrier I become. It wasn't enough to temporarily murder Jesus, but now they want to pervert His Word?
            I really need to go pray now, but I warn you. Don't click on that link if you don't have your King James Bible and the Armor of God with you!
            Posted via Prayer

            1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
            Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

            Blogging for CHRIST!
            Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
            All a-Twitter for Salvation!
            Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
            On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
            My Ladies of Landover profile!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Horrifying Advertisers

              That's just a nice, friendly sounding name, "Pastor Kip". Kip is like your next door neighbor, always willing to keep an eye on the kids while you run out to the store for a loaf of Eucharist Bread. Kip runs the local hardware store which always has a stock of Guiding Light flashlights and batteries, Nazarene Nightlights and bulbs, hot-melt Crucifix hangars, and quick-release hose fittings and sprinklers for watering your backyard Gethsemane Garden. Business has not been very good for Kip lately, and he has had to branch out and carry some of those fiberglass lawn Buddha's, plastic Cthulhu's, and small electrical appliances for everyday salvation.

              Kip is quickly being replaced by the latest addition to urban sprawl, the biggest Lumberama of them all, the Mega-Church (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megachurch). These cavernous White Box God stores are one stop shopping for all your redemption needs. They feature arena style seating comfortably outfitted in Corinthian leather and wide aisles stocked with R-19 foam insulation from the devil's wickedness. You will never miss any of the tabernacle action as all the healing and rebuking is shown live on big screen television. Your sphincter will be moved by the modern high powered Dolby THX surround sound systems. The food for your soul is as easy to get to as your local supermarket.

              Bible reading is a thing of the past.
              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
              ...and get off my lawn
              sigpic

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                Don't you think you're being a little too harsh on Pastor Kip and his church?

                From the "About us" and "Mission Statement" you provided, I think Pastor Kip's church seems like a genuine place where people can grow in the Lord. I mean, they believe that you must accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, they encourage people to grow in the Lord, and showing God's love.

                Now....I see some of you have kind of mocked the whole "God is love" thing, and yes, we need to remember that God is a JUST God, but he is also a God of LOVE.

                Why do you think he sent his ONLY son to die on the cross for us? Because he loves us!

                Romans 5:8
                But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

                I honestly can't vouch for Pastor Kip and his church, but to shut him down and call them names is a bit assuming, dont you think?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                  Originally posted by The Revelator View Post
                  Don't you think you're being a little too harsh on Pastor Kip and his church?

                  From the "About us" and "Mission Statement" you provided, I think Pastor Kip's church seems like a genuine place where people can grow in the Lord. I mean, they believe that you must accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, they encourage people to grow in the Lord, and showing God's love.

                  Now....I see some of you have kind of mocked the whole "God is love" thing, and yes, we need to remember that God is a JUST God, but he is also a God of LOVE.

                  Why do you think he sent his ONLY son to die on the cross for us? Because he loves us!

                  Romans 5:8
                  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

                  I honestly can't vouch for Pastor Kip and his church, but to shut him down and call them names is a bit assuming, dont you think?
                  Ohh, you must be one of those Feelgood Christians, right?

                  You believe God is all about love and forgiveness, and that hatred and war are wrong, eh?

                  Tell me, have you actually READ the Bible? Or do you just cherry-pick the nicey-nice bits that Pastor Feelgood and Casting Crowns find for you?

                  God commanded his Chosen People to invade cities, then kill all the males and non-virgin females, including "ripping up" the pregnant women, then take the virgin females (that is, little girls under 12, typically) as "wives".

                  Now, you can believe if you wish that this isn't ethnic cleansing. You can also believe that the girls who watched their entire families shredded like so much ground beef would fall in love with their captors and that the "marriage" would not actually be rape. But if you believe these things, you're far more naive than I can imagine.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                    Ohh, you must be one of those Feelgood Christians, right?

                    You believe God is all about love and forgiveness, and that hatred and war are wrong, eh?
                    I never said war was wrong, but hatred definitely is. Listen to what JESUS said during the Sermon on the Mount about hating people:

                    Matthew 5: 43-48:
                    Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh the sun to rise on the evil and the good; and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans do so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.


                    Tell me, have you actually READ the Bible? Or do you just cherry-pick the nicey-nice bits that Pastor Feelgood and Casting Crowns find for you?
                    As I said before, I have read through the entire Bible....and whats wrong with Casting Crowns?

                    God commanded his Chosen People to invade cities, then kill all the males and non-virgin females, including "ripping up" the pregnant women, then take the virgin females (that is, little girls under 12, typically) as "wives".

                    Now, you can believe if you wish that this isn't ethnic cleansing. You can also believe that the girls who watched their entire families shredded like so much ground beef would fall in love with their captors and that the "marriage" would not actually be rape. But if you believe these things, you're far more naive than I can imagine.
                    I bolded a part of that quote for you. "His chosen people" were referring to the Isrealites. That command by God was given to that group of people and that group ALONE. God is not commanding people TODAY to do this. And to think that that command actually is referring to Americans today may very well make you the naive one.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                      I clicked on this one today, and sure enough it's a bunch of Mary-worshipping papist sodomites. Is there any way we can screen our advertisers?

                      Posted via Prayer

                      1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                      Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                      Blogging for CHRIST!
                      Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                      All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                      Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                      On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                      My Ladies of Landover profile!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                        Originally posted by The Revelator View Post
                        I bolded a part of that quote for you. "His chosen people" were referring to the Isrealites. That command by God was given to that group of people and that group ALONE. God is not commanding people TODAY to do this. And to think that that command actually is referring to Americans today may very well make you the naive one.
                        Israelites.

                        The Jews killed Jesus and rejected God. They are condemned to Hell, and the Gentiles (that's us) are now the Chosen People. Ask Paul . . .

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                          Originally posted by The Revelator View Post
                          I never said war was wrong, but hatred definitely is.
                          Can we agree that Jesus is about to return? If so, why is Jesus returning? Chapter and verse, please.
                          Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                          "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                          Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                            Originally posted by The Revelator View Post
                            I bolded a part of that quote for you. "His chosen people" were referring to the Isrealites. That command by God was given to that group of people and that group ALONE. God is not commanding people TODAY to do this. And to think that that command actually is referring to Americans today may very well make you the naive one.
                            So God commanded the Israelites to commit murder, genocide and rape, but it's unacceptable and wrong if an American does the same thing? What an interesting morality you have.
                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Horrifying Advertisers

                              Originally posted by The Revelator View Post
                              I never said war was wrong, but hatred definitely is.
                              So what you're saying is... We're supposed to love the people we're killing? I'm lost on this thread of logic.

                              I've always believed that you hit your enemy harder and faster in order to kill as many of them as possible, before they have time to try and kill you. You don't do this because you love or like them. You do it because you were ordered to do so, or because you don't like them very much.
                              "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
                              (Leviticus 21:6-7)

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