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  • #1

    Pope's Latest PR Move: "Good News! Catholic Priests Are Not Just Pedophiles, We Also Rape Nuns!"

    In a progressive move aimed to make Catholics and everyone feel better after decades of embarrassing reports of systematic child sexual assault, Pope Francis admitted they don't employ pedophiles exclusively, priests also rape adult women.

    Taking control of the narrative of the story of a global organization that functions to find new and innovative scare tactics for inspiring members to voluntarily give up their valuables, autonomy, children, and basic common sense, the CEO Pope Francis offered up the rape of their nuns as good news and evidence they are more diverse and accepting than anyone knew.

    Pope Francis has admitted that clerics have sexually abused nuns, and in one case they were kept as sex slaves.

    He said in that case his predecessor, Pope Benedict, was forced to shut down an entire congregation of nuns who were being abused by priests.

    It is thought to be the first time that Pope Francis has acknowledged the sexual abuse of nuns by the clergy.

    He said the Church was attempting to address the problem but said it was "still going on".

    Last November, the Catholic Church's global organisation for nuns denounced the "culture of silence and secrecy" that prevented them from speaking out.

    The Pope's comments come amid long-running cases of sexual abuse of children and young men by priests at the Church.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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  • #2
    Re: Pope's Latest PR Move: "Good News! Catholic Priests Are Not Just Pedophiles, We Also Rape Nuns!"

    Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
    In a progressive move aimed to make Catholics and everyone feel better after decades of embarrassing reports of systematic child sexual assault, Pope Francis admitted they don't employ pedophiles exclusively, priests also rape adult women.
    Pope Francis needs help managing his church. He has this huge army of sex-possessed priests but has not found a way to control their passions.

    He would be well advised to give Pastor Zeke a call and ask for management advice. Pastor Zeke manages the several pastors here at Landover Baptist Church and there has never been a hint of scandal. The hammer remains down on bad publicity for our church.

    Of course, Pastor Zeke would expect compensation for management advise given to any church.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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    • #3
      Re: Pope's Latest PR Move: "Good News! Catholic Priests Are Not Just Pedophiles, We Also Rape Nuns!"

      It's not their preferred MO. Catholic nun casual-ware is rather plain; a real stiffy-killer for their primed up male counterparts. I suppose when a man's that desperate, and it's past an altar boy's bedtime, anything can happen. It's sad how desperate the Catholic faith is trying to prove they're not really homers.

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      • #4
        Re: Pope's Latest PR Move: "Good News! Catholic Priests Are Not Just Pedophiles, We Also Rape Nuns!"

        Good to see them increasing diversity, but it's not enough, and doing part of something I want, but not ALL of what I want, is nothing but whitewashing.

        I want to see the Pope in the room cheering as female-identifying male-bodied transwomen-priests are aborting their rape-babies. Only then will the Catholic Church be an ally of equity. Oh, and he also has to start every event with an acknowledgement that the Vatican stands on stolen Sabine land.
        Trigger Warning: the text you have just read may have caused: flashbacks to historical oppression, normalization of whiteness, hegemonic hyper-masculinity (if I must say so myself), assumption of genders, species, and/or status as a living being, other problematic sins which are yet to be discovered and outlawed but I should still be (eventually) punished for.

        MOD NOTE: click here for a Wokish-To-English Dictionary.

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        • #5
          Re: Pope's Latest PR Move: "Good News! Catholic Priests Are Not Just Pedophiles, We Also Rape Nuns!"

          Well, as they said;

          catholics
          left leaning


          pick one.

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