Local Catholic Church denies little boy First Communion

[Mary Etheldreda]

A poor little boy born to a papist family has been banned from an ancient Roman Papist ritual because he lacks the ability to pretend hard enough that Jesus lives in the little cracker he would eat. True Christians™ know that Jesus was Resurrected and does not live in foodstuffs, and if He did would not be relegated to a bland wheat-and-water wafer without even so much as salt, butter, or basil.

I can't say if Jesus had deigned to come back in food if He would reside in the grape and banana jell-o salad Sister VOS is so fond of, or if He would perhaps exist in a T-Bone steak brother Moss is so good at grilling. The Bible is silent on such matters and that's good enough for me, but for this little boy's family it's not.

You see Catholics are required to pretend really, really hard that Jesus lives in the cracker and in the wine, and when you eat the cracker and wine you're eating Him and drinking His blood really and truly no fooling. Like a cannibal. Or a Zombie. Or those Goths who spend all day in their trees. But since this little boy lacks sufficient imagination, about how Jesus can hide in a cracker in his tummy and hear his prayers anyway, and about when Jesus would wag a finger at him in rebuke, the priest said it's not enough. Papists require members to have a deep sense of imagination so they can pretend Jesus is making them feel guilty for eating a burger on a Friday but not about using birth control.

Today Nicole and I were informed that our son Anthony would not be able to make his communion this year. As most of you know, Anthony is an autistic non-verbal child who is in his sacrament year. Father Bambric at Saint Aloysis Church in Jackson and the Archdiocese of Trenton came to this position since Anthony is unable to determine right from wrong due to his disability they feel he is not up to the “benchmark required to make his communion.”

https://www.facebook.com/jimmy.lacug...12832484245733

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Local Catholic Church denies little boy First Communion

A poor little boy born to a papist family has been banned from an ancient Roman Papist ritual because he lacks the ability to pretend hard enough that Jesus lives in the little cracker he would eat.

You see Catholics are required to pretend really, really hard that Jesus lives in the cracker and in the wine, and when you eat the cracker and wine you're eating Him and drinking His blood really and truly no fooling. Like a cannibal. Or a Zombie.

That is a sad story, indeed, Sister Mary. Catholics have this mistaken belief that feasting on Jesus gets them a pass to heaven. Because this little boy cannot see Jesus in a cracker should not take him out of contention for heaven.

If only Catholics were better schooled in sin like we at Landover Baptist they would get somewhere. We have studied sin and sinners so much we can spot either a mile away. From what we know in the story this little boy did not commit a sin. Priests on the other hand are sin factories, allowing their sexual appetites to take them to dark places.

I hope this mother and her little boy find their way to a real Christian church like Landover Baptist.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Local Catholic Church denies little boy First Communion

I read that the kid is a retard as well. It sort of goes without saying. Any person that is not a Christian is a retard.

Catlick=Retard
Retard=Anything except a Christian.
That is some sort of logical deduction, IIRC. Like all fingers are digits, all thumbs are digits but fingers are not thumbs.


God take the wheel, I have faith you will guide me to the Glory!

[handmaiden]

Re: Local Catholic Church denies little boy First Communion

The parents may be upset, but Jesus is blessing the child even if they don't know it. (Which they clearly don't.)

A slow child like that would be even more vulnerable to the predations of a sleazy priest. And being "sworn in" to the Catholic Church doesn't result in salvation at all.





I remember when our Sister Mary E. shared information about this book. I managed to find a location online where it can be purchased. Many of the reviewers said that it can also be helpful in teaching immigrants about the true way to know Jesus as well.


Other people got their panties in a twist because the term "retarded" is considered some sort of dirty word now. Honestly, is the term "brain-damaged" any nicer? And who do they think afflicted their child that way in the first place?


People really, really need to have "come to Jesus meetings". Going to Catholic Church and swallowing a wispy little wafer ain't gonna cut it.