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Smile This Day in History: DECEMBER 5th - 12-05-2020, 06:02 PM

December 5th in True Christian History:
1484 – Pope Innocent VIII issues the Summis desiderantes affectibus, a papal bull that deputizes Heinrich Kramer and Jacob Sprenger as inquisitors to root out alleged witchcraft in Germany.
Jerry Springer Sr. clearly didn't root hard enough, if techno music teaches us anything:

1492 – Christopher Columbus becomes the first European to set foot on the island of Hispaniola (now Haiti and the Dominican Republic).
First? Not if you ask Mormons:



TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!
1496 – King Manuel I of Portugal issues a decree ordering the expulsion of Jewish "heretics" from the country.
They wander the Earth until 1848 (see below).
1776 – Phi Beta Kappa, the oldest academic honor society in the U.S., holds its first meeting at the College of William & Mary.
First on the order of business is a gangrape, if you believe Rolling Stone Magazine.
1847 – Jefferson Davis is elected to the U.S. Senate.
Thanks be to the LORD for the Senate, over-representing rural/slaveowning states like any proper electoral system should.
1848 – California Gold Rush: In a message to the United States Congress, U.S. President James K. Polk confirms that large amounts of gold had been discovered in California.
In case you ever wonder why so many Jews are there....
1865 – Chincha Islands War: Peru allies with Chile against Spain.
Mexicans don't just kill each other over drugs, they'll even kill each other over bird poop. Yes: bird poop.

It was used as fertilizer, back when organic farming was the norm. So next time a self-proclaimed-pacifist yuppie tries to make you eat their favorite overpriced tumbleweed salad, blame them for triggering the PTSD you got from the Chincha Islands Bird-Poop War.
1901 [birth of] Walt Disney
Psychedelic mushroom consumption will never be the same:

1931 – Cathedral of Christ the Saviour in Moscow is destroyed on orders from Joseph Stalin.
Orthodox "Christians" pray for it's salvation, but Christ The Savior does not save dens of Orthodox heresy.
1934 – Abyssinia Crisis: Italian troops attack Wal Wal in Abyssinia, taking four days to capture the city.
4 days to capture a Wal Mart, and it wasn't even Black Thursday! Wimpiest nation in the world.
1935 – Mary McLeod Bethune founds the National Council of Negro Women in New York City.
Is immediately pimp-slapped and told to make a sandwich by the National Council of Negro Men.
1943 – World War II: Allied air forces begin attacking Germany's secret weapons bases in Operation Crossbow.
Crossbows are not a secret weapon. They're not even much of a weapon. Really only useful for when you want to break up a midnight cat-fight without making even more noise.
1945 – Flight 19, a group of TBF Avengers, disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
If they had been called TBF Forgivers, Christ would have saved them.
1952 – Beginning of the Great Smog in London. A cold fog combines with air pollution and brings the city to a standstill for four days. Later, a Ministry of Health report estimates 4,000 fatalities as a result of it.
Boo hoo. Trump digs coal, so Jesus does too. Those hyperventilating Londoners should have just breathed less.
1955 – E. D. Nixon and Rosa Parks lead the Montgomery bus boycott.
See thread about this.
1983 – Dissolution of the Military Junta in Argentina.
Except for the one who becomes Pope. "Dissolute" is a good word to describe him, alright.
2017 – The International Olympic Committee bans Russia from competing at the 2018 Winter Olympics for doping at the 2014 Winter Olympics.
I don't get why, Vodka is not performance-enhancing.

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 12-06-2020 at 02:38 AM.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: This Day in History: DECEMBER 5th - 12-06-2020, 12:52 PM

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