[Wash O'Hanley]

As the summer leaves us, almost as soon as it came, it is time for school to begin. From mid-August through the end of September Universities around America will open their hallowed gates and resume business as usual. All students, from the scared and wide-eyed freshmen to even the most unmotivated and inebriated Communications majors entering their third "senior" year will have an opportunity to start anew with the idea that the world is theirs for the taking.

While we currently find ourselves mired in an economic Holocaust that will consume and destroy all of these hopeful young men and women the minute they receive their diplomas like the soldiers getting off the boats at Normandy, who are we to tell these Journalism, History and Social Sciences majors that their outlook is grim at best and they will soon be reduced to fighting tooth-and-nail for what few positions still exist in local retail outlets? The poor economy has allowed employers to demand more of potential employees: more experience, better education; all for less money, which is leaving recent college graduates out to dry as they cannot compete with adults that have been in the workforce for five or six years while they were in college. This taking advantage of, and throwing of this generation of recent college graduates under the bus is disgusting and unacceptable for a country like America. We need to help these young men and women so they can start a career and get their lives going.

The Wash O'Hanley Show has enjoyed a long tradition of employing unpaid college interns for many years now, giving them the tools, education, and practical work experience necessary to make it in the radio broadcast industry. It is with great honor that we begin the search for our Fall 2010 intern, who will work on a daily basis next to Wash O'Hanley: South-Eastern Iowa's #1 voice in Conservative Radio Political Punditry.* Get hands-on experience in the world of radio broadcasting as you do exciting tasks like getting the writers coffee, answering phones, picking up lunch, running errands to the office supply store, and enduring verbal and physical abuse from Wash O'Hanley whenever he has a bad day.

What can an internship at The Wash O'Hanley Show do for you?

• Invaluable on-the-job training that will help you find a career in a high-paying job straight out of college.
• A free tee-shirt or key chain.
• FREE trip to National Association of Broadcasters Convention in Las Vegas, NV (flight, accommodation and food costs not included).
• Many of our interns have earned paying positions upon graduation.
• 20% discount at local participating Qdoba and Panera Bread locations in the Des Moines area.
• A great resume builder.
• Signed head shot of Wash O'Hanley ($20 dollar value, yours for only 10!)

Our past interns have landed successful and lucrative positions at several Fortune 500 companies including Best Buy, Starbucks and Wal*Mart.

REQUIREMENTS:

• MUST be a current college student enrolled at an accredited University or College (no University of Pheonix losers) with a focus on radio, journalism, media, or similar major.
• 7-10 years coffee-making experience.
• MUST have a reliable form of transportation.
• Ability to order fast food from a drive-thru.
• MUST be able to commit 40 hours a week (overtime is also expected).
• 3-5 years of professional paid work experience in the radio industry, preferably in operating sound equipment, mixing boards and call boards.
• Master's Degree in radio broadcast strongly preferred.
• Ability to lift 250+ lbs
• Intimate knowledge of Iowa's underground human organ black market preferred but not required.
• Experience working in an office setting is strongly preferred.
• Ability to keep mouth shut required.

This internship is unpaid and for college credit only!

If you think you have what it takes to make it in the fast-paced world of radio broadcasting send a resume, cover letter, letter of recommendation from your local congressperson, a list of your current intellect, stamina and agility stat points, and three professional or academic references to Washohanley24@gmail.com (attachments will be deleted). Qualified candidates will be called and asked to come in to fill out an application and submit to a litmus test, drug test and background check. Interviews will begin August 30th in our Des Moines office. Training will begin on September 2nd and will require a non-refundable $250 payment. Upon completion of training the most qualified candidate will be chosen as our intern.

So what are you waiting for? Your future starts TODAY!

* of 2004

[Bobby-Joe]

Speaking of Interns of yours Wash, have the found out what happened to the last one? I know nothing came up from dragging Lake Freehold and searching Trent Harvy's old house. Sort of dropped off my radar sense then. What's the latest news? I am kind of curious what could possible produce that much blood in a car.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Speaking of Interns of yours Wash, have the found out what happened to the last one? I know nothing came up from dragging Lake Freehold and searching Trent Harvy's old house. Sort of dropped off my radar sense then. What's the latest news? I am kind of curious what could possible produce that much blood in a car.

How she managed to leave a forged tape of me threatening her in a locked drawer in my office and a used condom with my genetic fluids in the back seat of her car I'll never know. She was a really promising intern, but I guess sometimes looks alone can be deceiving.

[Sister Christina]

Wow...this really and truly sounds inspiring.

I fit all the requirements except I've never made coffee before.

Should I still apply for this wonderful opportunity?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

With my ministry for young women, I deal with a lot of college students. I'm sure I could find a couple of ladies, fresh from a long weekend of evangelism and oral testimony, that I could send your way. Rest assured, I'll send them to you after I'm done with them, so you'll get dutiful True Christian™ ladies that will never, ever question an order instead of some loud-mouthed bisexual Godmocking feminist.

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley

The poor economy has allowed employers to demand more of potential employees: more experience, better education; all for less money, which is leaving recent college graduates out to dry as they cannot compete with adults that have been in the workforce for five or six years while they were in college. This taking advantage of, and throwing of this generation of recent college graduates under the bus is disgusting and unacceptable for a country like America. We need to help these young men and women so they can start a career and get their lives going.

You've touched my heart with this post, Brother Wash. And I'd like everyone to know that as a caring, sharing mega-corporation, Uranus is willing to do it's part to create employment opportunities, especially for healthy young people just out of college.

Therefore, I would like to announce that we still have considerable need for blood donors. At Uranus Blood Bank (which also offers subprime loans), we pay $10/pint. And thanks to the fact that the Bush administration deregulated the FDA out of existence, no AIDS test is necessary.

Of course, I realize that $10 doesn't get you very far, but we pay FAR MORE to organ donors. Remember, you only need one kidney - why not sell the other one for top dollar? Similarly, you've got two eyes, so why not turn that spare retina into quick cash? And did you know that you can survive with just half your liver - the other half can be successfully transplanted to a needy rich person whose own liver has been destroyed (possibly by exposure to chemicals that my company manufactures).

So come on folks, this is the time to step up to the plate. With the economy sinking fast, I anticipate a large number of suicides, in which case prices for organs may start going down. Remember, in a free market, it's all about supply and demand. Turn those organs into fast cash now - you might even be able to pay off your student loan!


I paid off my student loan with just one kidney!

Keep in mind that once you're dead, somebody is going to get your organs for free. You wouldn't want that, would you?

[Benedict A. Davis]

Originally Posted by Free Market Fred

You've touched my heart with this post, Brother Wash. And I'd like everyone to know that as a caring, sharing mega-corporation, Uranus is willing to do it's part to create employment opportunities, especially for healthy young people just out of college.

Therefore, I would like to announce that we still have considerable need for blood donors. At Uranus Blood Bank (which also offers subprime loans), we pay $10/pint. And thanks to the fact that the Bush administration deregulated the FDA out of existence, no AIDS test is necessary.

Of course, I realize that $10 doesn't get you very far, but we pay FAR MORE to organ donors. Remember, you only need one kidney - why not sell the other one for top dollar? Similarly, you've got two eyes, so why not turn that spare retina into quick cash? And did you know that you can survive with just half your liver - the other half can be successfully transplanted to a needy rich person whose own liver has been destroyed (possibly by exposure to chemicals that my company manufactures).

So come on folks, this is the time to step up to the plate. With the economy sinking fast, I anticipate a large number of suicides, in which case prices for organs may start going down. Remember, in a free market, it's all about supply and demand. Turn those organs into fast cash now - you might even be able to pay off your student loan!


I paid off my student loan with just one kidney!

Keep in mind that once you're dead, somebody is going to get your organs for free. You wouldn't want that, would you?

I am concerned about one part of your posting FF, You say that the wealthy would likely pay good hard cash for ones 'extra bits'', which is their right. But if you combine the freeloading, crack addled, welfare living ''citizens'' with obama yomammas free healthcare socialist ideals you are headed for big problems. Imagine if they decide to sell both kidneys for what $10,000 each.Once they find out about this great deal how many will jump at this big payday .
Then the socialist demonocrats pay to keep the ''donors'' alive with the best healthcare our country has to offer. What would daily dialysis cost, maybe $1000 a day or $365,000 a year and that is per patient.

I would be the last person to suggest government regulation on how a businessman makes his money there should be some way to regulate the ''donors''. Maybe it could be along the lines of donors from a certain socio-economic status or illegal aliens. Illegal Aliens should be allowed to ''donate'' but they should be deported right after the ''donation''. This being an opportune time to deport them as they just got a $20.000 paycheck and could afford 1st class seats if no other seats are available on the 1st flight out.

[Kit San Diego]

TOMORROW ON THE CHANNEL 10 ACTION NEWS AT 5 WE TAKE A LOOK AT BACK 2 SCHOOL, WHERE PRICES AT YOUR LOCAL RETAILERS AREN'T THE ONLY THING GETTING SLASHED!!!

IT'S AUGUST AND THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING: CHILDREN ARE GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR CHILDREN'S TEACHERS AREN'T SEX PEDOPHILES? OUR OWN KWAN JI LYNN GOES UNDERCOVER AT A LOCAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TO FIND OUT IF YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER IS GOING TO MURDER YOUR FAMILY!!!

THEN KIT SAN DIEGO GOES UNDERCOVER AT A LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DANCE TO CATCH KIDS DOING IT. WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN, THE HEAT GOES UP!

BUZZ SAWS, POWER DRILLS AND VICE GRIPS. SOUND LIKE THE SUBTERRANEAN LAIR OF A DERANGED MAD MAN? WHAT IF WE TOLD YOU THESE TORTURE CHAMBERS WERE LOCATED AT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD MIDDLE SCHOOL? THEY CALL IT "SHOP CLASS" AND EACH YEAR MILLIONS OF CHILDREN ARE KILLED AND MAIMED IN IT. THE CHANNEL 10 ACTION NEWS BOT VERSION 2.0.1 GOES DEEP UNDERCOVER TO FIND OUT IF SHOP CLASS IS GOING TO MURDER YOUR FAMILY!!!

BRETT FAVRE IS RETURNING TO THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS FOR A 20TH NFL SEASON. TYRONE POWERS HAS THE STORY.

THE CHANNEL 10 ACTION NEWS AT 5: THE ONLY TIME OF THE DAY WHEN IT'S OK TO SOIL YOURSELF... IN FEAR!!!!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Is that an application, Kit?

[HTannor]

Brother Wash, it's a shame that "some" have posted unrelated material here and derailed your recruiting efforts.

I, for one, meet many of your requirements but already have a lucrative career in the newspaper distribution field.

I am willing to offer an additional "perk" in the form of lodging for your winning candidate.

One of the nicer trailers here in the park has recently become available. I've had it as a rental unit for several years and it just opened up after some of Obamarama's gestapo units deported the last occupants.

(Jesus, Maria, and their twelve children are "heading south" at this very moment because of a tragic misunderstanding over some social security cards that they claimed they got from me. But nobody believes anything a beaner says.)

Be all that as it may, I can offer this trailer at a very modest daily fee. I'll even toss in a window fan since the AC has been "acting up" a little.

The lucky intern can use all his/her extra time doing the "sprucing up" to make the trailer habitable once again. But the daily rent will be so low the intern may well feel it's like free to live there.

Feel free to place this offer in list of items the fortunate candidate will receive.

[H. Montague Worthington]

It's too bad I'm not a hot young girl with pouty lips and a slutty reputation, or I'd apply.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Originally Posted by HTannor

Brother Wash, it's a shame that "some" have posted unrelated material here and derailed your recruiting efforts.

I, for one, meet many of your requirements but already have a lucrative career in the newspaper distribution field.

I am willing to offer an additional "perk" in the form of lodging for your winning candidate.

One of the nicer trailers here in the park has recently become available. I've had it as a rental unit for several years and it just opened up after some of Obamarama's gestapo units deported the last occupants.

(Jesus, Maria, and their twelve children are "heading south" at this very moment because of a tragic misunderstanding over some social security cards that they claimed they got from me. But nobody believes anything a beaner says.)

Be all that as it may, I can offer this trailer at a very modest daily fee. I'll even toss in a window fan since the AC has been "acting up" a little.

The lucky intern can use all his/her extra time doing the "sprucing up" to make the trailer habitable once again. But the daily rent will be so low the intern may well feel it's like free to live there.

Feel free to place this offer in list of items the fortunate candidate will receive.

Brother Tannor I do believe that big city folks would call it a ''rent controlled unit'' not list it as a cheap fixer upper.

[HTannor]

Good point, Brother Davis.

I need to take my moped downtown for its monthly tune up ( it's a slant bike and those japs must still be pissed about us doing some fumigation in those two cities or else they’d make a real bike like Harley does).

Anyway, I'll drop by Wash's studio and have him change the wording on his notice.

In all my other Real Estate for Rent ads on Craig's List I'll probably keep the description I've been using. Beaners would have no idea what ''rent controlled unit'' means, anyway.

You know, when those mex's stay where they belong and they need someplace to live, they usually just get an old refrigerator shipping box, cut a hole in the "roof" for their hibachi, and settle in.

Coons looking for someplace to live are a whole other story. They show up and try to use food stamps for the deposit. Sure, I can flip the stamps, but I don't like taking the hit at the local pawn shop. So I normally send the spades to the next trailer park down the road. Besides, the negroids, sadly, are already citizens and don't need my assistance in securing ID for them.

Beaners are happy to go for my package deal - housing, IDs, and "previously used" license plates for their "Chivvies."

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by HTannor

Beaners are happy to go for my package deal - housing, IDs, and "previously used" license plates for their "Chivvies."

At my company's factories in Tijuana, we've found that a little bit of meth can be beneficial. Gets the beaners working fast during their 18-hour shifts, plus they eat less. After awhile, you don't even have to pay them - they'll work without salary just to get meth. And if you hire young beaner ladies, you can even get them to perform "extra services" for free, if you know what I mean.

We've also found that the gentlemen who supply the meth make great security guards. Since we've hired them, there's been no problem at all with union organizers or environmental activists.

Yet another win-win situation.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Free Market Fred

At my company's factories in Tijuana, we've found that a little bit of meth can be beneficial. Gets the beaners working fast during their 18-hour shifts, plus they eat less. After awhile, you don't even have to pay them - they'll work without salary just to get meth. And if you hire young beaner ladies, you can even get them to perform "extra services" for free, if you know what I mean.

We've also found that the gentlemen who supply the meth make great security guards. Since we've hired them, there's been no problem at all with union organizers or environmental activists.

Yet another win-win situation.

Jesus smiles when the Free Market works according to His Plan! GLORY!

If you had the union organizers or the health inspector in your factory there would be nothing but strife and the plant would shut down. Without the kind of stability business requires you would have to relocate to some low cost country like Kentucky and then those Mexicans would lose their jobs.

[HTannor]

Here in Iowa, they got all nit-picky about meth ingredients. Registrations at pharmacies and such.

The genuine IDs I provided worked for awhile, but the spicks started getting a little uneasy with their pictures being taken and such. (Don't even talk to me about the costs of grinding out a second set of IDs.)

Is there any chance your chink factories can start whipping out the things needed? I'm thinking that coolie wages are a LOT less than what US companies are paying their illegals.

For example, the US antihistamines are about 3 or 4 bucks for a pack of twelve caps. Your slants have just gotta be doing it for less than that. Factor in the airfare where they can be tucked into the cargo holds and wheel wells and I'm guessing a net cost of maybe a buck or less - tops.

We're are talking win-win here.

Let me know.

[Free Market Fred]

Originally Posted by HTannor

]Is there any chance your chink factories can start whipping out the things needed? I'm thinking that coolie wages are a LOT less than what US companies are paying their illegals.

For example, the US antihistamines are about 3 or 4 bucks for a pack of twelve caps. Your slants have just gotta be doing it for less than that. Factor in the airfare where they can be tucked into the cargo holds and wheel wells and I'm guessing a net cost of maybe a buck or less - tops.

Brother Tannor, I can assure you that nearly all of our Chink factory workers are already being supplied meth (mixed into their rice and noodle rations). It's done wonders for their productivity, and most of them are so grateful that they don't even ask us to pay them in cash anymore - meth alone seems to keep them happy for the whole 6 to 8 months that we employ them (after which time they seem to develop some mysterious illness that causes liver, kidney and heart failure).

As for importing meth into the USA...we'd love to, but unfortunately we're bound by contractual obligations not to do so. Our Chinese business partners say that this is their exclusive domain, though this brings them into occasional conflict with our Mexican business associates.


Cleaning up after a little business spat in Juarez, Mexico

Anyway, as an honest caring, sharing corporation, Uranus would never attempt to undercut our Chinese business partners. Despite a few hiccups, our relationship with them has been excellent. And they do fantastic work settling disputes with labor unions and environmental activists who occasionally cause us trouble, while at the same time supplying us with organs for our medical group's transplant business.


Our Chinese business partners holding an Executive Board meeting in Shanghai

Just to give you an idea of what a great working relationship we have with the Chinese...I know I've mentioned it before, but remember that big hullabaloo the liberal media made about melamine in Chinese food products? Well, as I've said before, melamine is nutritious and perfectly safe - I'll bet that most of you continue to use it at home as a floor wax and furniture polish. Anyway, environwackos in Obama's commie FDA banned melamine in food products, even dogfood (which so many elderly people in America depend on). Fortunately, my Chinese friends used their influence so that we could continue selling melamine-fortified infant formula, not only within China but also for export to Third World countries where people have nothing else to eat besides mud and discarded bicycle tires.


Sanlu floor wax and furniture polish

Anyway, time has vindicated us. Recently health studies (paid for with generous donations from Uranus) have recently proved that our infant formula promotes rapid growth. This is due to the unfairly maligned melamine (or perhaps the steroids and hormones) that we include in our health food products. And don't believe those slanderous reports about Chinese babies developing enlarged breasts after consuming our products.


Satisfied customer: One year-old Chinese boy

It's sad but true that a successful corporation like mine has to constantly fight off ridiculous rumors spread by Al Gore, Ralph Nader, the World Health Organization and other vicious liberal fascists.