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  • Tithing Recipes

    A good Christian homemaker needs to help her family meet it's tithing obligatons and still put food on the table. For that reason, Tithing Recipes have become our Lord's favorite recipes for good Christians. On this thread, we will post recipes that put food on the table for less than a dollar (I'm talking green-back US dollars here, so do your own conversion if you're so unfortunate to live elsewhere)

    Anyway, I'll start with Mother Glynndie's Hoe Cakes, and you all can add your favorites.


    Mother Glendora's Hoe Cakes
    • 2 cups corn meal
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 2 cups boiling water
    • oil for frying
    Put the tea kettle on to boil. In a large bowl combine the corn meal and salt. Pour the boiling water over the cornmeal and stir it up. The cornmeal will swell up, absorbing the water, and making a very thick mash.
    Heat some oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. You can use as little as two tablespoon of oil per panful, but it is a little easier to use 4 or 5 tablespoons of oil for each panful. Now scoop up a little of the cornmeal mush (about 1/4-cup) and shape it into a patty. It will still be warm from the boiling water, so be careful not to burn yourself. Plop the patty into the hot fat, and get it to frying. Make some more, until you have a whole pan full. I usually cook about 4 or 5 at a time. When the underside is crispy brown, turn them and cook the other side. When both sides are crispy and brown, transfer them to a plate to keep warm, and start another batch. This recipe makes about 12 hoe cakes and can feed your family for less than a dollar.
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

  • #2
    Rice surprise

    Boil a pot of water. Add rice. Simmer for roughly ten minutes. Sieve. Serve. If you wish to go all out, you may wish to consider adding soy sauce or a similar condiment, but remember - every penny you spend on soy sauce goes directly to heathen orientals, and when it should be going to JESUS!
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

    Comment


    • #3
      Personally, I don't cook.
      I employ a Housemaid and Cook to do all thos menial tasks.

      However, I found the following scratched out on a piece of paper which must have been left behind after my last Cook disappeared in mysterious circumstances.

      Quite frankly, I didn't even realise Messicans could read. I certainly didn't realise she had been allowed to own a Pencil!!

      WET BOTTOM SHOO FLY PIE

      2 cups flour
      Blend into crumbs w/1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup Crisco, 1/2 tsp. salt

      In a Separate Bowl mix together:

      1 cup molasses (or dark Karo)
      1 cup water
      1 tsp. baking soda
      2 eggs, (beaten)

      -Stir half of the crumb mixture into the liquid mixture.
      -Line pie tin with crust.
      -Pour mixture into pie crust and sprinkle with remaining crumbs on top.
      -Bake 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Then bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes.

      .

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



      Comment


      • #4
        Bottled Water

        Now you can be like the unsaved blue-state yuppies* who spend ridiculous amounts of money on bottled water to avoid drinking what comes out of the tap. Just capture rain in a pot and pour it into bottles. Think of all of the money that you'll save relative to buying gourmet designer bottled water. It's especially good once the water company has cut you off for tithing the money that unsaved secularists think you should have used to pay the water bill.

        *except for the parts about being unsaved and living in a blue state
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
          Bottled Water

          Now you can be like the unsaved blue-state yuppies* who spend ridiculous amounts of money on bottled water to avoid drinking what comes out of the tap. Just capture rain in a pot and pour it into bottles. Think of all of the money that you'll save relative to buying gourmet designer bottled water. It's especially good once the water company has cut you off for tithing the money that unsaved secularists think you should have used to pay the water bill.

          *except for the parts about being unsaved and living in a blue state
          This reminds me of hot dog or hard boiled egg soup.

          Use only one hotdog or hard boiled egg to remain in the under $1.

          Personally I've been eating a lot of beans recently.

          Not the fancy Goya beans

          But the less expensive generic version of the same.

          Also, the word goya just makes me think of joos for some reason.

          2 Samuel 17:28 Brought beds, and basons, and earthen vessels, and wheat, and barley, and flour, and parched corn, and beans, and lentiles, and parched pulse,

          29 And honey, and butter, and sheep, and cheese of kine, for David, and for the people that were with him, to eat: for they said, The people is hungry, and weary, and thirsty, in the wilderness.


          FYI, one can of beans is more than 3.5 servings, and normally costs less than 50 cents. I can feed myself for a week for right around $10, praise Jesus! That's just that much more love offering money, for our Lord and Personal Saviour (r).

          YIC
          V
          Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

          Comment


          • #6
            Snickerdoodles & Thanks Talitha

            Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
            WET BOTTOM SHOO FLY PIE

            2 cups flour
            Blend into crumbs w/1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup Crisco, 1/2 tsp. salt

            In a Separate Bowl mix together:

            1 cup molasses (or dark Karo)
            1 cup water
            1 tsp. baking soda
            2 eggs, (beaten)

            -Stir half of the crumb mixture into the liquid mixture.
            -Line pie tin with crust.
            -Pour mixture into pie crust and sprinkle with remaining crumbs on top.
            -Bake 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Then bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes.
            Thanks for that delightful sounding recipe, sister Talitha. I will try it. And don't feel bad about having hired help in your home. Our Lord Jesus Christ knows how much "bizzier" rich folks are and you are HIS favorites, so just enjoy. Here's that Snickerdoodle recipe you've all been trying to get. And yes, it can be made for less than a dollar as long as you purchase your ingredients in large quantities (50lb flour)(25lb sugar)(flats of eggs).

            Mother Glendora's Snickerdoodles
            • 1/2 cup margarine (1 stick)
            • 3/4 cup sugar
            • 1 medium egg
            • 1 teaspoon baking powder
            • 1/4 teaspoon salt
            • 1-2/3 cups flour
            • 2 tablespoons white sugar mixed with 1-1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
            In a large bowl mash together the margarine and sugar. Add the egg and beat until everything is creamy. Add the baking powder, salt and flour. Stir it up until you have a nice thick dough. In a cereal bowl, combine the cinnamon and 2 tablespoons sugar.
            Shape the dough into balls the size of a walnut. Roll them in the cinnamon-sugar mixture. Place the coated balls on an oiled cookie sheet. Using the bottom of a smooth cup or glass, press the dough down to flatten the cookies slightly. Bake them at 375F° for 10 minutes.
            Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

            Comment


            • #7
              Mother Glendora's Hoe Cakes
              • 2 cups corn meal
              • 1 teaspoon salt
              • 2 cups boiling water
              • oil for frying
              Mother Glendora, you're the greatest example of an honest christian wife. Good looks and good cooks...

              Could you, by any chance, send me some of those wonderful hoe cakes?
              Soon in Christ

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by andrewisI View Post

                Mother Glendora, you're the greatest example of an honest christian wife. Good looks and good cooks...

                Could you, by any chance, send me some of those wonderful hoe cakes?
                They probably wouldn't taste too good as they are best when still warm. By the way, the name Hoe Cakes came from the first American settlers, who got the recipe from the injuns (after killing them, of course) and used to cook the Hoe Cakes over an open fire on the blades of their hoes. Of course, if the hoes were covered with injun blood and gore, they would leave em on the fire a few minutes before cooking with them.
                Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                  They probably wouldn't taste too good as they are best when still warm. By the way, the name Hoe Cakes came from the first American settlers, who got the recipe from the injuns (after killing them, of course) and used to cook the Hoe Cakes over an open fire on the blades of their hoes. Of course, if the hoes were covered with injun blood and gore, they would leave em on the fire a few minutes before cooking with them.
                  Why Sister Glendora, I do believe my Wet Bottom Shoo Fly Pie originally came from that very same era.
                  Those pesky Injun Terrorists must have traded cooking secrets with the Messicans.
                  I'm not sure where the Molesasses came from so I guess they made-do.

                  Thanks for your concern regarding my having to get in hired help. Luckily I have good security around me and no Negra would ever get far if they tried their Pie-thieving ways at my home.

                  Sister Talitha

                  Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                  HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                  being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Brother V View Post
                    This reminds me of hot dog or hard boiled egg soup.

                    Use only one hotdog or hard boiled egg to remain in the under $1.

                    Personally I've been eating a lot of beans recently.

                    Not the fancy Goya beans

                    But the less expensive generic version of the same.

                    Also, the word goya just makes me think of joos for some reason.

                    2 Samuel 17:28 Brought beds, and basons, and earthen vessels, and wheat, and barley, and flour, and parched corn, and beans, and lentiles, and parched pulse,

                    29 And honey, and butter, and sheep, and cheese of kine, for David, and for the people that were with him, to eat: for they said, The people is hungry, and weary, and thirsty, in the wilderness.


                    FYI, one can of beans is more than 3.5 servings, and normally costs less than 50 cents. I can feed myself for a week for right around $10, praise Jesus! That's just that much more love offering money, for our Lord and Personal Saviour (r).

                    YIC
                    V
                    hate to reply to myself... but I recommend this product...

                    BEANO

                    You, and everyone around you will appreciate that you use it.

                    Trust me!

                    V
                    Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Rice Cereal for Brother T's Left-over Rice

                      Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                      Rice surprise

                      Boil a pot of water. Add rice. Simmer for roughly ten minutes. Sieve. Serve. If you wish to go all out, you may wish to consider adding soy sauce or a similar condiment, but remember - every penny you spend on soy sauce goes directly to heathen orientals, and when it should be going to JESUS!

                      Hot Rice Cereal
                      • 2 cups leftover cooked rice
                      • 1 cup milk
                      • 1 tablespoon margarine
                      • 1/4 cup raisins or dates (optional)
                      • dash salt
                      • dash cinnamon
                    In a medium sized saucepan combine the rice, milk, margarine, raisins or dates and salt. Add the raisins too, if you are using them. Stir the mixture over medium heat until it is heated through, and the margarine is melted. Simmer for a minute or two to thicken. Serve immediately, while it is hot.
                    This recipe is a great way to reheat leftover rice, especially if you don’t have a microwave. The rice will absorb some of the milk as it heats. If you like, you can pass a pitcher of cold milk or cream at the table to thin it out some. This recipe will serve 4 moderately hungry people, or 2 starving adults. It is easily doubled for more servings.
                    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                    Comment


                    • #12
                      Originally posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
                      They probably wouldn't taste too good as they are best when still warm. By the way, the name Hoe Cakes came from the first American settlers, who got the recipe from the injuns (after killing them, of course) and used to cook the Hoe Cakes over an open fire on the blades of their hoes. Of course, if the hoes were covered with injun blood and gore, they would leave em on the fire a few minutes before cooking with them.
                      I hate to correct you (again) Mother G, but I know that you don't want to leave the impression that our Landover Baptist Forefathers were practicing some form of divination. I'm fairly certain that they extracted this recipe PRIOR TO slaughtering the redskins righteously in God's Name.

                      Frankly, I doubt that any squaws had the mental capacity to follow a recipe of any kind. More likely one of our Godly children thought it up.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment


                      • #13
                        Forgive me Zeke and Cattails on the Cob

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        I hate to correct you (again) Mother G, but I know that you don't want to leave the impression that our Landover Baptist Forefathers were practicing some form of divination. I'm fairly certain that they extracted this recipe PRIOR TO slaughtering the redskins righteously in God's Name.

                        Frankly, I doubt that any squaws had the mental capacity to follow a recipe of any kind. More likely one of our Godly children thought it up.
                        who got the recipe from the injuns (after killing them, of course)

                        What was I thinking, Pastor Zeke? I guess I imagined the settlers taking the recipe file out of the injun's kitchen after they killed them. Of course, there is always Deuteronomy 21:11-14. Which means they killed the buck injuns and just the ugly squaws.

                        While we're talking about injuns, there is a free source of food that our platimum tithers might want to consider:

                        Cattails On The Cob
                        (They really are tasty and free)

                        Gather green cattail spikes in the springtime (these will be almost full sized, but not the least bit brown). Place in a pot and cover with water, boil for 10 to 15 minutes. When done, drain and serve with butter. Eat like corn on the cob (the part you're eating is the tender seeds, just like with corn).
                        Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                        Comment


                        • #14
                          Originally posted by Brother V View Post

                          Not the fancy Goya beans

                          But the less expensive generic version of the same.

                          Also, the word goya just makes me think of joos for some reason.
                          No wonder. Goya painted this famous image of a Joo celebrating Pesach with a Christian baby.

                          I wonder why they thought naming their product after him would be a good way to sell beans?
                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                          Comment


                          • #15
                            Re: Tithing Recipes

                            I have a recipe that was passed down to my unSaved mother from my unSaved grandmother who first came upon this wonderful dish back in the 30s.

                            Soup Kitchen Tomato Soup

                            - 2 tbsp W Brand Ketchup
                            - 1 cup boiling water
                            - 1 cracker

                            Bless their poor, damned Papist souls, every day my father and grandfather had a nice, hearty cup of soup for lunch, and they never lacked the strength to give us kids a good thrashing.

                            Edit: I forgot to add that my foremothers used Heinz ketchup, but that's just one more mark against them in the Book of Life.
                            Last edited by Mrs. Mary Whitford; 01-26-2007, 04:28 AM. Reason: Yes, it matters what kind of ketchup!
                            Posted via Prayer

                            1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                            Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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