[Magnum Innominandum]

It seems to me that the True Christians™ here definitely do love their neighbors as they love themselves, which is why so many work so hard to save the lost souls who wander in. I can witness to the fact that the barking and croaking of demons that only recently disturbed my sleep has mostly fallen silent since I found this forum. Satan's servants no longer break into my waking hours with their hoarse cries and mournful meeping, unless as deluded little lesbian Goth girls who are quickly given instruction by the righteous men of Landover Baptist. Though I am as saturated with sin as the swamps of Louisiana that were not drained because of anti-American environmentalists, who probably need such French-speaking micro-climates as venues for their unholy rites, I was nonetheless warmly welcomed here.

True Christians™ love themselves by enthroning the Lord in their hearts, and the slimy, spreading residue of sin within is extirpated -- the cancer is cut out with the Lord's scalpel, as it were. They can then turn to perform this surgery upon others, which is indeed an act of love.

But how does a compulsive masturbator love others as he or she loves himself or herself? As a cathylick priest, perhaps, corrupting the young -- turning them into death-cookie-eating homers? As a witch worming her fiendish fingers into the bodices of bewildered, drugged out teenagers coming into this forum to cry out for help? You say you agree that homosexuality is a sin, MusicInHerHeart -- but what are you doing about it? Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the President of accursed Persia (hopefully soon to be liberated), is at least doing something about homers. If two men "stand naked under one cover without any necessity," for example, they both get 99 lashes [1]. And your wicked lesbian friend would have her precious little open mind shuttered right quick!

Though the mudslime savages will eventually be subdued by bombs so smart that each has the brains of a hundred camel drivers, giving those benighted moon-worshippers their freedom is taking a long time -- and that's because they cunningly exploit the weaknesses liberalism has brought to America.

You seem to have an interest in history, MusicInHerHeart, even if it is shot through with the soiled silk of communist historiographers. Consider this early American example of the homosexual agenda and how it should be dealt with --

Bradford wrote concerning the year 1642 that it was surprising to see how wickedness was growing in the colony, "wher the same was so much witnesed against, and so narrowly looked unto, and severly punished." He admitted that they had been censured even by moderate and good men "for their severities in punishments." And he noted, "Yet all this could not suppress the breaking out of sundrie notorious sins…espetially drunkennes and unclainnes; not only incontinencie betweene persons unmaried, for which many both men and women have been punished sharply enough, but some maried persons allso. But that which is worse, even sodomie and bugerie, (things fearfull to name,) have broak forth in this land, oftener then once."

The event which apparently provoked these observations from the governor was mentioned very briefly in court records of 7 September 1642: "Thomas Graunger, late servant to Love Brewster of Duxborrow, was this Court indicted for buggery wth a mare, a cowe, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey, and was found guilty, and received sentence of death by hanging untill he was dead." The executioner was Mr. John Holmes, the Messenger of the court, and in his account he claimed as due him £1 for ten weeks boarding of Granger, and £2/10 for executing Granger and eight beasts. Bradford described Granger as about sixteen or seventeen years of age. Someone saw him in the act with the mare, and he was examined and confessed. The animals were individually killed before his face, according to Leviticus 20:15, and were buried in a pit, no use being made of them. Bradford relates that on examination of both Granger and someone else who had made a sodomitical attempt on another, they were asked where they learned such practices, and one confessed he "had long used it in England," while Granger said he had been taught it by another, and had heard of such things when he was in England. [2]

Your mollycoddling false Christianity, MusicInHerHeart, has done nothing to stem the tide of sodomy. Surely you heard about the man who rightly had his exit ruptured by playing with horses only a year or two ago. These iniquities were smuggled in from Europe even in the 1640s! Still, America grew strong -- because these acts were severely punished.

Get that music out of your heart and enthrone the Jesus of True Christianity™, I say! The fifes and drums of tough love! If the little Gothic animals who show up here could be individually killed before the faces of the seductresses who turned them on to Wicca, for example, we'd soon have fewer homers than Ahmadinejad has in his slum of a country!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by scotty

i dont beleive in evolution but george washington was true human.

What would you consider to be a false human? I do hope you're not being disrespectful about our little pickaninny friends.

Originally Posted by Meserti

A. Tricorner hats were more a fashion for the British Georgian hats mostly of the colonial areas.

Friend, we are not about to start taking advice about fashion from goths. We're just not.

Originally Posted by MusicInHerHeart

It seems I have forgotten the dates of that war; I had to Google it to remember that it occurred before the . However, my statement in support of non-patriotic Americans still stands despite my mistake.

Why do you support non-patriotic Americans? Do you want the terrorists to win?

Originally Posted by MusicInHerHeart

Now, I'll admit I may have been over generalizing and over exaggerating my previous statement, but it was to make the point that 95% of the things I've ever heard about Canada from everyday people is negative.

That's because of 95% of things about Canada are negative! Do you want people to start telling lies?

Originally Posted by Magnum Innominandum

You seem to have an interest in history, MusicInHerHeart, even if it is shot through with the soiled silk of communist historiographers. Consider this early American example of the homosexual agenda and how it should be dealt with --

Bradford wrote concerning the year 1642 that it was surprising to see how wickedness was growing in the colony, "wher the same was so much witnesed against, and so narrowly looked unto, and severly punished." He admitted that they had been censured even by moderate and good men "for their severities in punishments." And he noted, "Yet all this could not suppress the breaking out of sundrie notorious sins…espetially drunkennes and unclainnes; not only incontinencie betweene persons unmaried, for which many both men and women have been punished sharply enough, but some maried persons allso. But that which is worse, even sodomie and bugerie, (things fearfull to name,) have broak forth in this land, oftener then once."

The event which apparently provoked these observations from the governor was mentioned very briefly in court records of 7 September 1642: "Thomas Graunger, late servant to Love Brewster of Duxborrow, was this Court indicted for buggery wth a mare, a cowe, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey, and was found guilty, and received sentence of death by hanging untill he was dead." The executioner was Mr. John Holmes, the Messenger of the court, and in his account he claimed as due him £1 for ten weeks boarding of Granger, and £2/10 for executing Granger and eight beasts. Bradford described Granger as about sixteen or seventeen years of age. Someone saw him in the act with the mare, and he was examined and confessed. The animals were individually killed before his face, according to Leviticus 20:15, and were buried in a pit, no use being made of them. Bradford relates that on examination of both Granger and someone else who had made a sodomitical attempt on another, they were asked where they learned such practices, and one confessed he "had long used it in England," while Granger said he had been taught it by another, and had heard of such things when he was in England. [2]

Your mollycoddling false Christianity, MusicInHerHeart, has done nothing to stem the tide of sodomy. Surely you heard about the man who rightly had his exit ruptured by playing with horses only a year or two ago. These iniquities were smuggled in from Europe even in the 1640s! Still, America grew strong -- because these acts were severely punished.

Praise! Imagine the message that would have been sent out if the liberals had managed to get a stay of execution for the animals involved. That perverted turkey had to be punished.

[Magnum Innominandum]

Esteemed Brother Temperance,

I think it notable that no use was made of the delicious butterball turkey, the succulent mutton, etc. (or the mare, obviously related to the equine dreams that Mark Karen Cauchemar person suffers from). In those days, there was not much food around -- the Injuns monopolized it. And yet these men spurned this polluted meat! With these Goths, though, not making any use of them would be easy and logical -- not much flesh on those bones, and most of it tainted with cosmetics.

The passage also makes clear that liberals were around back then -- He admitted that they had been censured even by moderate and good men "for their severities in punishments." These politically correct heretics no doubt resembled false Christians like MusicInHerHeart. So-called "good" men, "moderate(s)" -- trying to stay the rod of the righteous. Had the punishments been more severe -- had these proto-liberal "Christians" not whined -- surely sodomy and like vices could have been eradicated!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by MusicInHerHeart

the idea that God should -- or for that matter, can -- be killed, sickens me.

JOHN 3:16 SICKENS YOU?!?!??!

Jesus, aka God, DIED for your sins. DIED. Croaked, kicked the bucket, bought the farm, bit the dust, etc. etc. It's kind of why our symbol is a cross, you know, that thing that God DIED on for our sins?

And the Appalachians are on the East coast. Mountain ranges on the western side of the country are the Rockies and Sierra Nevada. Go look at a map sometime, it's quite enlightening.

And it's even more enlightening if you spin around a couple of times, so that you're so dizzy you can't tell east-west from north-south, latitude from longitude. That's like not knowing the difference between left-right and up-down.

According to your revolutionary THEORY, these "loyalists" of yours walked west across the appalatians, into savage indian terretory, and then walked north through this wilderness, before swimming across the Great Lakes into Canada. See my attached map at bottom, with the supposed refugee route in red.

Instead of just catching a ship to the sunshine and rum of Barbados, or French Louisiana.

Seeing as you've been taught your history by the Texas educational system, the best in the world, you have no excuse for your ignorance.

It seems I have forgotten the dates of that war;

Right, just like you forgot that God Died: John 3:16, and you forgot about the war of 1812, your basic directions, and the basic fact that the same people who promote "evolution" cannot be trusted on their history. When you stand before Jesus on Judgement Day, "I forgot" is not going to save you from the eternal torture of HELL.


Footnote:

Canada is fairly easy to get to, if you can get through the Appalachian Mountains, and many people had to know how to do that in order to travel on the East coast

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by MusicInHerHeart

The real cow you're referring to was said to have started the Great Chicago Fire.

Huh? How do you know I'm not refering to some other non-existant cow? There's a lot of non-existant cows in non-existance, you know.

You're missing the point.

And the point is which nonexistant cow started which fire? You're the one who went off topic.

when Canada does come into a conversation, the people involved can only think of negative things to say about it.

Which is worse than Toronto being burned to the ground, HOW? Your claim is that Canada-USA relations have gone downhill lately. ("it was not until recent years that the general public has deemed the country to be an "evil place.") Then I pointed out that it's been quite a while since we've burned down each other's capital cities, then you went onto a tangent about a nonexistant cow and accused me of going off topic!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Spike.

Teachers arnt allowed to talk about god (any god,not just yours) in school anymore because you people were getting really mad about it, so the board was like fine that means we cant talk about yours either...FAIL.

Wrong again, "comrade."

God was taken out of our schools by Godless atheist fascists like you. That's just one of the reasons why True Christian™ families send their children to.....HOME school. Where God is an integral part of each and every lesson.

And seeing as you came from a secular school, I guess you must be proud of your complete lack of spelling, grammar and punctuation skills.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by MusicInHerHeart

You know, I really would go through and provide explanation for everything you're arguing me about, but I really despise that half the things I said were taken grossly out of context to better suit your end of the conversation.

That's the same thing evolutionists say when they lose the debate. The burden is on YOU to provide evidence to back up your "revolutionary war" theory, but just like the evolutionists, you have none.

Though I will say this to Jeb: I was referring to God the Father, not to God who spent time on this Earth as man.

You speak as if there are two of them. Don't you know that the 10 commandments says you're not worship other gods?

I'm starting to seriously doubt how committed to Christianity you are.

1. Do you support bringing Biblical Law to the United States of America?

2. Do you believe that homosexual acts deserve capital punishment?

3. Do you believe that allowing blemished people to approach the altar at church is an abomonation?

4. Do you support the wartime rules of engagement given to us by God in the book of Joshua?

5. Do you believe that Slaves should obey their master as they obey Christ?

I could go on all day, but there's no need because I doubt you are strong enough in your faith to agree with all of the abve statements.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

1. Do you support bringing Biblical Law to the United States of America?

2. Do you believe that homosexual acts deserve capital punishment?

3. Do you believe that allowing blemished people to approach the altar at church is an abomonation?

4. Do you support the wartime rules of engagement given to us by God in the book of Joshua?

5. Do you believe that Slaves should obey their master as they obey Christ?

Boy, it sure is easy to get rid of a lukewarm false-Christian. Just ask them if they believe the Bible or not. Then go into the details.

The Bible, world peace, and the environment: everyone's all for them, until you get into the details.

[Brother Thomas]

I truly believe that the revolution did NOT take place. Just like the moon landing, it is a hoax perpetuated by suckular public schools. However, I must ask, where did America come from?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Brother Thomas

I must ask, where did America come from?

American was intelligently designed by the LORD.

Does anyone really need to know any more than that?

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Spike.

ok.

Praise Jesus! Even a hateful communist can't argue with Bobby-Joe's glorious logic!

[Magnum Innominandum]

Putting aside the fiendish Freudian surge of the sapphic in the fantasies of that false Christian, so accurately analyzed by JennyD -- I would like to point out that the analogy offered by MusicInHerHeart exposes the delirium that comes of straying from the path of True Christianity™.

Music changes. From the death metal of the primitive Norwegians to the mindless pipings of New Agers engaged in their amorphous abominations -- from the sick hymns to Santa one hears at the mall to the dithyrambs of cathylick devils, music is unreliable -- unlike the Lord.

Music soothes the savage breast -- something that shouldn't be done. Savage breasts are for spearing, not soothing.

As Plato put it: "When the mode of the music changes, the walls of the city shake." As a pagan homer who knew all about going soft, Plato observed that the relaxed modes of music -- the kind this sinner is hallucinating when writhing about in bed -- enfeeble the mind.

The Word of the Lord does not change. It's found in the Bible, KJV 1611, and it's immutable.

If you've this fickle, cloying cacophony ("sweet melody") in your girl-gourd and it makes you think of God, my friend -- it's just another indication of how soft you've gone... something we already suspected when you promoted a tolerance for sodomy.

You seem to be drawn to the Lord, MusicInHerHeart, and that's peachy-keen -- but the path of righteousness is narrow.

And so I say again -- get that music out of your heart and enthrone the Jesus of True Christianity™!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[bobbob123]

Just to clarify here: The "Normans" are a group of people from "Normandy," a geographic location in France. The "Normans" are certainly not a group of people named Norman. William the Conqueror, did IN FACT, lead the Normans (a group of people from France, not people named "Norman") to conquer the the southern part of the British island in 1066.

Secondly, there is an amazing amount of evidence supporting George Washington's existence. Continental Congress records, archived letters referencing him, his own personal papers. Not to mention army records, land ownership papers and personal property. Also, just because there "are no photographs of a person" does not mean they didn't exist. We don't have photographs of Jesus, Moses, Noah, Adam or any of the Biblical Kings, but we still believe that they existed. Photography was invented in the early 1800s, and was not perfected within Washinton's lifetime.

Thirdly, when the Revolutionary war is described as being won by a series of small victories, it does not describe : "random, undirected sequence of military engagements." They weren't random attacks, they were targeted to have the maximum effect with minimal resources. They were certainly directed, the Continental Army was led by a great many leaders, George Washington, John Burgoyne, Howe, etc (see http://americanrevwar.homestead.com/files/GENERALS.htm)

Any questions?

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by bobbob123

Any questions?

Yes.

This thread was last posted in back in 2007. It's now 2009.

Do you often go digging back in dead threads in forums so you can find something you think you know something about?

This is a Christian Church forum, not Bob's History Book Chat.

[JessLovesYourFace]

I'm going to try and answer some questions, not only because i'm a history student, but i want to test my known knowledge. I doubt you'll listen to me anyway...

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

The Discovery Institute has supplied a valuable teaching tool in the form of a list of ten questions, for students to ask their biology teachers when they start to talk about "evolution". Just as innocent requests for fairness and balance!

Here is a similar article for those who want to bring this noble crusade to the rest of the academic disciplines, starting with history:

So -- kids, the next time your history teacher starts trying to force-feed you Revolutionary "theory" as if it were "fact", you know what to do!

Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Q: ORIGIN OF GOVERNMENTS: Why do history textbooks claim that the modern British monarchy originated with the "Norman conquest", in "1066?, when nobody has ever seen a calendar for that year, and there has never been an English king named "Norman"?

The name of the 'Norman conquests' came because William I was from Normandy. It was also the start of the rigidly based inheritance of the crown still seen today.



Q: SILLY HATS. Why do textbooks claim that Revolutionary Fashion can explain the use of Tricorner Hats by the colonists -- even though these hats were not used in the French Revolution, and there are no such silly hats anywhere else in history?

English fashion in the 1600's and 1700's saw some men wearing these hats.


Q: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION A FACT? Why are we told that the American Revolution is an historical fact -- even though many Revolutionary claims are based on misrepresentations of the facts?

And remember -- when some liberal revolutionist starts spouting off about imaginary events supposed to have taken place in 1776, all you have to do is look him in the eye and ask "Were you there?".

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by JessLovesYourFace

The name of the 'Norman conquests' came because William I was from Normandy.

That's circular logic. Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy!

So, you see how false the evolution-of-names theory is false. Clearly names are intelligently designed by God, as part of His Divine Plan.

English fashion in the 1600's and 1700's saw some men wearing these hats.

As I've said before, first people were bareheaded, after this they wore tophats. but WHERE IS THE MISSING LINK? Were are the tiny triangle hats, and the half-triangle-half tophats?

Also, hats were made of natural substances in America then, while today they are made from polyester in china. Where is the ruins of the factory in the pacific where hats were made from a half-natural half-artificial material? WHERE IS THE MISSING LINK?

So you see the theory of fashions evolving from one fashion to the next is disproven. Obviously fashions are intelligently designed by God, as part of His Divine Plan.

EDIT: Thread derailments from this thread have been moved HERE.

[jimbobboy]

Jeb:
I appreciate your notice of my post, and can only admire the exegetical effort expended by your many commenters.
I also realize it's been a few years.
But it would have been a courtesy if, in addition to quoting me at length, you had supplied attribution and a link to the original post, viz.:
http://www.someareboojums.org/blog/?p=21

Not complaining, just asking.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Not complaining, just asking.

I found the article in unattributed copy and paste form and I apologize for not having done a better search to find the origional version and it's brilliant author.

Are you employed by the Discovery Institute, by any chance? Because Landover Baptist University has a more competetive payscale as well as fringe benefits that....Well, you'll just have to see for yourself.

Either way, we'd like you to continue sharing your wisdom with us.

[jimbobboy]

Thanks, Jeb!

I understand entirely how these things can happen -- the forces of darkness are everywhere on the intertubes, constantly laying traps for the righteous!

At the time of my original post, it was noticed by notorious heathen and spawn of Satan PZ Myers (http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/c...ts_are_coming/), who seemed to think it was a work of mockery; can you beat that?

In any event, your site is a beacon of wisdom to those hungry for salvation, and I'll have to make sure to check back frequently.

(And I was highly tickled by the auto-correct)

[Nobar King]

In any case, your history teacher was probably wrong more than she was right.