Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

[Johny Joe Hold]

This past week, Pope Francis sacked the Cardinal who read the Bible and told the faithful what it said. That Cardinal, who was in charge of Catholic dogma, preached against homers and divorce.

The Pope replaced him with a new dogma guy who, like the Pope, does not read the Bible. He agrees with the Pope, "No one should be condemned forever."

We at Landover Baptists know better. Jesus never said no one should be condemned forever. In fact he came to the world to condemn sinners. What good is the Catholic church if it is not condemning sinners?

https://www.yahoo.com/news/pope-shakes-vatican-replacing-conservative-doctrinal-chief-124832461.html

[Phil Ander]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

Amen Mr Mayor,


God hates sin so much that the perpetrator's future generations (up to a certain number) are condemned to hell.


pope frank is desperate to get as many homers, divorcees, retards "enrolled" into the cathlick franchise as possible.


Anyway frank, and all his children, and children's children will soon be issued with tickets on the HELL TRAIN


Phil

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

It's always amazing to see how the cathylick scam has survived for so long, often hiding behind thinly veiled excuses like the founding on the "Rock of Peter" nonsense.

Along comes the "new" pope (backed by the Jesuit cabal) who is now promoting something akin to FDR's "New Deal" - Jesus already died for all your sins past, present and future. Just grab a wafer and frolic in all the sin that pleases you and forget about an eternity in the Lake of Fire.

Just sign on the dotted line and Satan owns your soul.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

The Pope replaced him with a new dogma guy who, like the Pope, does not read the Bible. He agrees with the Pope, "No one should be condemned forever."

We at Landover Baptists know better. Jesus never said no one should be condemned forever. In fact he came to the world to condemn sinners. What good is the Catholic church if it is not condemning sinners?

The Catholic church rebrands itself more often than Pepsi Cola. It continues to scrap centuries of teaching in hopes of stopping the hemorrhaging of members due to it's inability to understand, much less promote the actual faith of Christ Jesus. Oh, and that whole "Parishioners should put money in the silver trays every Sunday so you can pay the lawyers that get your priests off the hook for diddling your children during the week" promotion doesn't seem to have gone over too well.

Conservatives have concentrated their criticism on the document's opening to Catholics who divorce and remarry in civil ceremonies, without getting Church annulments.

Under Church law they cannot receive communion unless they abstain from sex with their new partner, because their first marriage is still valid in the eyes of the Church and therefore they are seen to be living in an adulterous state of sin.

In the document the pope sided with progressives who had proposed an "internal forum" in which a priest or bishop decide jointly with the individual on a case-by-case basis if he or she can be fully re-integrated and receive communion.

With this change of opinion the Catholic church announces that everything it teaches is suspect, and depending on the tide of public opinion dogma can be modified in order to pay the bills of the cathedral.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

It's always amazing to see... the "new" pope. Jesus already died for all your sins...

You see? Deep within your unbalanced hatred the truth is tugging at you even though you resist its call on these silly fora.

Pope Francis is a man of both God and of His time.

His time. God's time.

God's plan has seen to it that His Church, in a time of great cultism (See: Mormonism, Scientology, Trailer-park Baptwism) and johnny-come-lately flim-flammery, (See:previous parenthesis) has the type of pious (in some ways Pius!) leadership to see it through what some outlier cults describe as the end days!

While The Pope, who is in touch with Jesus 24/7, knows that anything can happen anytime, does not seem to buy into this hysteria, he is never the less always prepared should Jesus pull the plug on the bath-tube of life. With this in mind he has taken great care to stay current in his views and appointments.

We all know this change of advisors is big news around the planet, unlike the county dog-catcher announcements in Freehold, but rest assured this is all part of His plan and with that in mind what could go wrong?




Bless you, my galeanthropic gastriloquist,
Father Mo




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[Roland]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

[...]
.

Hello Maurice,

Can you explain why catholics keep raping children and covering up for these deeds? They seem to have the thoughtfulness to call it rape and at the same time shrug their shoulders and continue molesting children. I don´t understand this, please be so kind to elaborate why catholics should have sex with choir boys?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

Hello Maurice,

Can you explain why catholics keep raping children and covering up for these deeds? They seem to have the thoughtfulness to call it rape and at the same time shrug their shoulders and continue molesting children. I don´t understand this, please be so kind to elaborate why catholics should have sex with choir boys?

The tears of altar boys is what makes Catholic water "holy" to them.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

The tears of altar boys is what makes Catholic water "holy" to them.

"Holy" water has been one of those best sellers for the cathylicks even before modern day bottled water became all the rage. It's right up there with beads, scapulas, and crosses with a dead Jesus affixed to them that fill the church coffers.

What is little known is that "holy" water is also used by the popes to wet their fingers to find out which way the wind is blowing. That's how they got "guitar" masses (even the Anglicants try to preserve some semblance of decorum) and now today the cathylicks are embracing homerism, divorce, abortion, globull warming, open borders, and South American socialism.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

"Holy" water has been one of those best sellers for the cathylicks even before modern day bottled water became all the rage. It's right up there with beads, scapulas, and crosses with a dead Jesus affixed to them that fill the church coffers.
What is little known is that "holy" water is also used by the popes to wet their fingers to find out which way the wind is blowing.

Brother William, your post got me to thinking. Maybe there is a money making opportunity here for Landover Baptist. I'm thinking we could market our own "holy water". We could call it

PASTOR ZEKE'S MIRACLE HOLY WATER; BETTER THAN ROME'S

Others here could come up with a one sentence marketing pitch, something like, "From One of God's Rivers".

We could buy cases of bottled water at the super market, paste Zeke's brand on them and sell for, what do you think, $10 a bottle maybe??

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

Brother William, your post got me to thinking. Maybe there is a money making opportunity here for Landover Baptist. I'm thinking we could market our own "holy water". We could call it

PASTOR ZEKE'S MIRACLE HOLY WATER; BETTER THAN ROME'S

Others here could come up with a one sentence marketing pitch, something like, "From One of God's Rivers".

We could buy cases of bottled water at the super market, paste Zeke's brand on them and sell for, what do you think, $10 a bottle maybe??

There's always been a reason that you keep getting elected Mayor, and this is one of them.

Every great city was founded on the ability to have access to clean and pure water, and the founding of Freehold is no exception - our spring fed streams are second to none, and no doubt through the Grace of God. There is plenty of room in the Freehold Temple Industrial Park to incorporate a bottling plant to bring the cleansing of our Freehold waters to the masses.

I also see opportunities to build a plant for producing prefab John the Baptist Spa® Baptismal Pools that can be offered to churches to do Biblically correct immersion baptisms.

Long term I would like to see us annex some land outside Freehold to build Salvation Land®, a one stop place where the unsaved can come in pilgrimage to get saved. It would consist of an intensive Bible (KJV1611) study accompanied by a special water park with slides into baptismal pools. This would also require resort style hotels and restaurants serving Biblically correct food, and shopping facilities for items required by True Christians™. This would be a large undertaking, but I see the Trump organization helping out to develop this as part of MAGA.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

The Pope replaced him with a new dogma guy who, like the Pope, does not read the Bible. He agrees with the Pope, "No one should be condemned forever."

If that's true, what's the point of Jesus? If sin just wears off after a while, like the gold stuff on costume jewellery, and sinners become un-condemned what have those sinners been saved from? I suppose popes get a good briefing before they take over this ridiculous operation so if the pope or a passing minion could flesh out my query into an appropriate form for asking about condemnation that would be great. I've heard there's a strict protocol regarding who may speak to whom among Romish clergymen.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

...I'm thinking....

This is both unique and debatable.

...we could market our own "holy water". We could call it

PASTOR ZEKE'S MIRACLE HOLY WATER; BETTER THAN ROME'S

Your stunning originality knows few bounds.

...Others here could come up with a one sentence marketing pitch, something like, "From One of God's Rivers".

Aren't they all His rivers? SMH!

We could buy cases of bottled water at the super market, paste Zeke's brand on them...

Zeke's brand? A drunk/drugged cabana boy whose Speedo is three sizes to small?

...and sell for, what do you think, $10 a bottle maybe??

Well, from here you need to determine the size of the bottle before going any further. I realise you are a few Slovenian hookers shy of a Trump wedding party, but if you are serious about selling bottled water send me a P.M. as one of our new Catholics, and former Baptwits, Free Market Fred is now bringing his marketing savvy to Jesus through His Church... The Church of Rome.




Bless you, My Diebold Deglutitionist,
Father Mo




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[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

Zeke's brand? A drunk/drugged cabana boy whose Speedo is three sizes to small?

Bless you, My Diebold Deglutitionist,
Father Mo

PASTOR ZEKE'S MIRACLE HOLY WATER; BETTER THAN ROME'S will be on the market one day soon. I take it we need not send a sales rep to your Catholic parish.

One thing we have at Landover Baptist that you Catholics lack is a we-can-succeed attitude. By our own will and determination, PASTOR ZEKE'S MIRACLE HOLY WATER; BETTER THAN ROME'S will be the holy water of choice in parishes everywhere.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Pope Can't Tolerate Staff Members Who Read the Bible

When heretics "christen" their infants is it holy water in the font? The orthodoxes have this:

A quantity of holy water is typically kept in a font placed near the entrance of the church where it is available for anyone who needs it. Holy water is sometimes sprinkled on items or people when they are blessed, as part of the prayers of blessing. For instance, in Alaska, the fishing boats are sprinkled with holy water at the start of the fishing season as the priest prays for the crews' safety and success. Orthodox Christians most often bless themselves with holy water by drinking it. It is traditional to keep a quantity of it at home, and many Orthodox Christians will drink a small amount daily with their morning prayers. It may also be used for informal blessings when no clergy are present. For example, parents might bless their children with holy water before they leave the house for school or play.

I found that rather disturbing but they continue with a descriptive passage which you can read by clicking the link to their wiki followed by:

Since Jesus had no sin but was God himself his baptism had the effect of Jesus blessing the water making it holy that is used fully for its original created purpose to be an instrument of life.

. . .

Jesus' baptism is commemorated in the Orthodox Church at the Feast of Theophany (literally "God shining forth"). At the Vespers of this feast, a font of holy water is typically blessed in the church, to provide holy water for the parish's use in the coming year. The next morning in some parishes, the prayers often include a trip to a nearby river, lake or other public source of drinking water, to bless that water as well. This represents the redemption of all creation as part of humanity's salvation. In the following weeks, the priest typically visits the homes of the parish's members and prays prayers of blessing for their families, homes and pets, sprinkling them with holy water. Again, this practice is meant to visibly represent God's sanctifying work in all parts of the people's lives.

https://orthodoxwiki.org/Holy_water

Since blessings from Jesus don't "wear off" over time and since our papist reckons all rivers His property surely he is ready to be reconciled with all the Eastern heretics? Both he and they seem to think a blessing fades, otherwise once blessed always blessed and there'd be no need for them to keep re-blessing the water, including rivers, over and over again. It's a great reconciliation of course but they still remain heretics and can look forward to temperatures in the molten brimstone range or even higher.